Life — September 26, 1907 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

IS SOMETIMES A SIMPLE MATTER -LIFE- 363 Who Would Make the Worst President—And Why ? No. 8. 'OM L. JOHNSON, of Ohio, would make the worst possible President. In the first place, he h; lot of crank ideas. He believes that everybody ought to have an opportunity to get rich, and that since the only way to produce wealth is by applying labor to land, any one who wants to work should have a right to use unoccupied land ‘Then he also believes in Free Trade, not tariff revision or revenue reform, but real Free Trade. He further believes that the way to abolish monopoly is to repeal the laws which create special privileges and sus tain monopolies. He holds that every man or woman has a right to the wealth honestly pro duced or earned by them. If elected President he would use his influence, not to enact more laws, but to repeal the fool legislation now on our statute books. He is honest, able and courageous, and therefore could never become popular with the politicians. For these reasons his election to the Presidency would be a public calamity, and would result in upsetting the estab lished order, which every one knows is the best than can be devised. Wuippen Granam. No. 9. O THE vast army of impossible can- didates the man that this country would groan under most, were the coun- try ever dishonored in having him made resident, would be Anthony Comstock, alias “King of Prudes.” eleventh commandment would be em bodied as a constitutional amendment Next we would have a Secretary of Select Morals in the Cabinet and the wrath of the mighty Attorney-General of the United States would be diverted from the trusts to the bathing resorts and athletic fields. A bare fact, or the naked truth, could not (by chance) appear in Con- gress. The Government would suppress Bridge and our womenkind would be driven back to the immoral Sewing Circle or Quilting Bee of olden times, which we now look back to with feelings of horror. Picture the seacoast at this time with everybody, including bathers, wearing frock coats and somber lower garments. There is no calamity thinkable that would be worse than for the pious St Anthony Prude Comstock to become President of this happy nation. Av with the horrible nightmare! Louts A. Dover No. 10. THINK that the worst President of the United States would be—any man elected by the Republican or Democratic party. Because any man clected by them is bound to represent the capitalis ests, and therefore, he must betr. people which he should represent best President of the United States, how ever, to my mind would be the man clected by the Socialist party. ‘That man will serve the people, and will work for their interests and humanity at large. Lovis Brooks. No. 11 NTHONY COMSTOCK would be the worst kind of a President, but the best kind of a VICE-President Haroip Susman. FIRST FINANCIER: About t thing President Roosevelt ne take up now is Christian Science. SECOND FiNaxcieR: Oh, wouldn't it be yrand if we could give him absent treatment? ANY aman carries about him the outward and visible signs of an inward and spirituous disgrace. FOR THOROUGHBREDS—WHY NOT? comicbooks.com