Life — September 5, 1907 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

E WATCHED and waited through the night Until, his head low bent, He nodded once—'twas only once— The Great Chance came—and went. How to Become Rich N ORDER to become rich it is necessary merely to follow the perfectly simple procedure of any king of finance. Thus: Borrow all the money you can upon the property you already own. With the money buy more property. Combine the two properties, float a loan upon them, and with the money buy a third property Merge the three properties, use the merger as security for a loan, and with the moncy buy another large property. Consolidate this with the others, select a board of directors, and authorize yourself to float twice as much stock as there is. Sell this stock, and with the money buy five or six more properties. Organize a holding company which will carry the stocks of all the properties. i You are now so wealthy and influential that you do not need to make any more loans. Increase the stock of your properties, and sell bonds upon them. Authorize yourself to buy everything in sight with this money. Now you will have control of everything; also, you will have the say-so in any number of subsidiary companies and a con- trolling voice in eight or nine insurance companies and na- tional banks. After this there doesn’t seem to be much for you to do except to get the dyspepsia, get bald, and prattle gently about the excellence of moral proverbs. W. D. Nesbit. HE virtue of women is based upon modesty, education, de- pendence, religion and the lack of lovers. HAT the average humane society is pretty stupid better shown, perhaps, than by the incident of the doctors who recently sewed two puppies together for the advancement of science. A certain humane society butting in, on the flimsy pretext that cruelty was being practised, an experiment of the utmost value to mankind was broken up. Who does not recall the Siamese twins, what an artistic and financial success they were? But as matters stand, Siamese twins occur only at the caprice of nature, perhaps not as often as once in a century. Why, then, should not science, pene- trated with a sense of the artistic and the financial, direct itself to the discovery of a method of producing Siamese twins with- out waiting on nature’s precarious favor ? Of course there is no good reason why. And that’s just what those doctors were getting at. Had they been let alone, they were in a way to prove that puppies sewed together will grow together, and if puppies, then babies, like- wise. When we consider how many of us are now living in obscu- rity and want, is it not a mortifying thing to see the way to affluence and distinction being closed thus, in the name of mercy? Ramsey Benson. COCKTAILS are not exactly unmixed evils The Refinement of Humiliation To SHOUT in your wildest tones “Fore?” to those playing one hundred and fifty yards in advance and then, when they have scurried to cover, drive the ball three yards two feet and seven inches comicbooks.com ©