Life — August 15, 1907 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“LIFE = A Painful Precedent The President's gift of “The Works of Theodore Roosevelt” in nine volumes to the Roosevelt Library in been acknowledged by the gratejul Germans ¢ books are deep n octopus, hath twined All knowledge in its long antennae. So German eyes shall peer through specs, Seck out cach Teddythought and grab it Until Imagination wrecks Its spars upon the Teddyhabit; ‘Their eager minds shall track each lair Of gristly trust or grizzly bear And storm the stronghold of the rabbit. Nor is this all (for on the fate Of Germany my fancy lunches), Stick of S The hand that wiclds the Can use the Pen with telling punches. Suppose his publishers begin Sending full shipments to Berlin Of those rare thoughts that come in bunches! “The Life of Mrs. Legg, a Stork,” “My Lectures,” “My Remarks “My Youth; or How I Saved New Yor! Prince of Peace in Riding Breeches, “In Panama—Not Soon but Yet,” “Malicious Falsehoods I Ha “Armed to the Teeth,” “What Patience Teaches. Avaunt, false Kant and Schaupenhauer! Farewell, dear Gocthe and sweet Schiller! A one-man military power Grinds all your grist, for he’s the miller. And even the Mrs. Eddybooks fair place to Teldybooks, When Germany demands its thriller Wallace Irwin. Farewell, Morgan and Pettus HE death of Senator Pettus, following so soon after the death of Senator Morgan, stirs in the observer’s mind a sentiment of respect for the State of Alabama, which kept these two antediluvian statesmen in the Senate so many years. Between them they were about 170 years old, and there are few Senators who are so generally respected for character, abil- ity, knowledge and devotion to the public service as were these two extraordinary old men. Both were poor, both were able, both were absolutely honest. Both had definite political prin- ciples which regulated their political action, and neither paid attention to party orders. Two fine old boys were the Alabama octogenarian Senators, a credit to old age and to their State and to the Southern pro- pensity for sending men to Washington (and keeping them there) because of what they have in their heads rather,than in their pockets, Crime HE. discovery of psychic epilepsy brings practical crim! nality at last within the reach of the most fastidious. As the brain-storm was a great advance upon pure cussedness, so likewise is psychic epilepsy a great advance upon the brain- storm, Verily, the world moves, and progress is more than a phantasy. The psychic epileptic is degraded by no messy outward manifestations of his malady. Where the brain-stormer was revealed by the rolling of his eyeballs, or by his morbid dis- position to shun publicity, or the like, the psychic epileptic is not to be distinguished from any other person of gentle breed- ing and correct feeling. He may murder and yet be mannerly, and what that means to our better classes, only they can know. The twentieth century will be remembered to the end of time for many things, and not least of all for having divested crime of that character of disagreeableness, to employ no stronger term, which has hitherto rendered it unsuitable to any but vulgar, or at most, bourgeois uses. R.B “T DON’T believe Parson Brown ever told a lie about any one.” “T don’t know about that. many funeral sermons.” He has preached a good “NOINTY-NOINE IN THE SHA-ADE! BY GORRY! DO YEZ BELAVE ur?” “OI BELAVE UT WOULD BE IF THERE WAS YY SHA-ADE.”” comicbooks.com