Life, 1907-08-08 · page 16 of 20
Life — August 8, 1907 — page 16: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Life* satirical magazine contains several humorous pieces mocking American social types and literary pretension. **"Aut Scissors Aut Nullus"** depicts a dinner conversation where someone boasts of stealing souvenirs—coffee pots, spoons, bananas—from various venues. The satire targets the "souvenir hunter," a Gilded Age tourist type who compulsively pilfers objects as travel mementos. The accompanying verse mocks this behavior as morally equivalent to hunting dangerous game. **"The Vagrant"** uses a contrasting narrative: when asked what good he's done, a poor man admits only to stealing wine and feeling joy—yet receives forgiveness. The piece critiques society's harsher judgment of the poor versus the wealthy tourist's casual theft. Other sketches lampoon pomposity: one mocks nature-writing ("Poe's ravens never croak 'Nevermore'"), another ridicules an obviously fabricated military anecdote about self-mutilation for honor. The page reflects fin-de-siècle American anxieties about materialism, class hypocrisy, and literary affectation—typical targets for *Life's* urbane readership.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
UT SCISSORS CAME Free as of old atd gay “What hast thou done,” the por That thou should’st pass this way? “Hast fed the hungry, clothed the poor? ok his head “Telrank my wine and T was Hut 1 did The vagrant Hast prayed upon the Nay, but I loved th Has we} “Phe ble J gathered every one But what £ Like light, one radiant beam? “T robbed no child of his fairy tale » dreamer of his dream.” Anna McClure Shell, in A ppleton's EXPOSED What are you doing?” Burning Poe's poems. He wasa nature faker, Ravens never t just abowe chamber doors and croak ' Nevermore." Chicago Keeord He +" Tuny thought more of the Legion of Honor in the time of the first Napoleon than they do now,” said a well-known French fn. “The Emperor one day met an old one armed veteran How did you love your arm ?* he asked. Sire, at Austerlitz.’ And were you not decorated?! No, sire." Then here is my own cross for you; I make you chevalier” lier because I have lost one 1d 1 lost both Your Majesty names me « arm! What would your Majesty have done h Oh, in that case I should have made you Officer of the Legion.” Whereupon the old soldier immediately drew his sword and cut off his other arm.” There is no particular reason to doubt this story. The only question is, how did he do it?—Kverybedy’s Lire, is published every Thursday. $5.00 a year in advance. countries in the Postal Union, $1.04 a year; to Canada, 52 cents Hack numbers, after three months from date of publication. 25 cents. 4 Lire. is for sale by all Newsdealers in Great Britain. ‘The International News Company, Breams Building, Chancery Lane, London, E. C.. England, Acents. Hrentano’s, 37 Avenue de Opéra, Panis, “The Champagne of Waters” Additional postage to foreign Single current copies, 10 cents News Exchange, 9 Kue St. Georges, Paris; Saarbach's News Exchange, my ESET The Souvenir Hunter [+The American souvenir hunter will steal anything but cellar full of water."—Admiral Bob Evens.) HE souvenir hunter fares him out To the groaning banquet board, And a coffce pot, with a silver spout, He adds to his mighty hoard; Some bananas, a plate of macaroons, For the kids he stows away: And, just for good measure, six silver spoons He takes as he sings this lay UT NULLUS Kenn: Out in my cor with a party yesterday Garexn: Yes Hunting the snark, hunting the shark, Hunting the lion or deer Is nary a fraction of decimal mark Came toa wide, deep stream which we could not for." No bridge you fun the machine over *No." To hunting the souvenir, What in the world did you do?” Just sat there and thought it over.""—Vonkers Statesman Where'er he goes, he deftly lifts A much-prized object of two; Some knickknacks—perhaps they're wedding gifts— But he hopes it woo't trouble you He never steals—oh, fie! Nay, nay! ‘The fend merely takes along Some keepsakes to cheer his lonely way As he carols his daily song Hunting the snark, hunting the shark, Hunting the lion or deer Is nary a fraction or decimal mark ‘To hunting the souvenir! ~Denver Republica ! AN INCENDIARY “Why was he arrested?” “On suspicion; he was caught entering a powder mill with a of Ella Wheeler Wilcox’s -Houston Post coun. Sweet Singer of Michigan is credited with the authorship NO, JENNIE, YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY, O64 tiful, soul-sitisfying and complete ¥ CREAM DOESN'T AGREE WITH LOBSTER in the English language — And now, deat friend, what I have wrote AGREED WITH HIM T trust you will pass o'er And not criticise, as some has done. Hitherto, herebefore.” noxher verse which is equally complete in i ugh of a more sentimental choracter. Mrs. Helen R Martin in "His Courtship” presents it as a specimen of "Pea sylvania Dutch” poetry, written by a lovelom rustic to object of his affections. It leaves absolutely nothing more t said, closing the circuit completely Awf'ly stupid “No man would ever dream of giving a mixed up thing of this sort.”* That's what 1 told my wife. Have I met your wife?” 4 Very likely, She's the woman that's giving the purty." Cleveland Plain Dealer 1 this wiolet NOT A DISBELIEVER * remarked the dear girl, “that you do not believe joken that we two have met And hope that we already yet Once more again together get.” xt sight? The Bellman Ob, yes, I do, sl with second sight they would never fall in love.” —Home Mag. of 1907 will read like a nature-fake.—Washington Star joined the oli bachelor. “If men_were Iv years to come a faithful description of the early summer icester Square, W., London; Searbach’s Saarbach’s News Exchange. 1, New Coventry Street Via Firenze, Milan’ Saarbach’s News Exchange, Mayence, German} Ne contribution will be returned unless accompanied by stamped and addressed envelope The illustrations in Live are copyrighted and are net to be reproduced. Prompt notification should be seni by subscribers of any change 0] address IF ON PLEASURE BENT— Evans’ Alé Fills the bill as nothing else will. Town and Country Clubs. C. H. EVANS & SONS, Hudson, N. Y. BQ The Great Passenger Route of America—NEW YORK CENTRAL LINES comicbooks.com