Life — August 1, 1907 — page 36: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JOKE WAS ON HER A woman member of the bar in New York gives to our cor respondent the following correspondence with the reservation no names shall be quoted: Lam one of the few women,” she says, “who can sce a joke even if aimot at myself first bes The first letter was from a man lawyer and was as follows: 1 do not feel that in this case I came off Dear Miss Blank: We agree to the compromise as proposed in your favor of this date. Not because vour client has a just right to such settlement, but from the fact that we do not care to open a contest with a woman lawyer To which this reply was sent: Gentlemen: I note yours agreeing to a settlement, although I cannot congratulate you on your gallantry in begging the ques tion. Like the original Adam, you seem inclined to hide behind 2 woman's petticoat And the following letter closed the cor Dear Miss Blank : If you will turn to the early you will discover that Eve did not wear a petticoat Plain Deater ondence ges of Genesis Cleveland SLOW AND INFREQUENT Now and then some man succeeds in becoming famous with: ‘cut being made so by the President, but it is a slow process. — Chicago Record- Herald THE LAST STEP When we reach the higher st told to seek diligently to learn to think in the alien tongue, as wellas to read and write it. That is, we are expected to catch the meaning of the strange words without any connection with English or English speech. From this one may come to appreciate the experience of a certain Porto Rican negro. He was asked. not very long after his arrival in the United States, if English was difficult for him. "he said. “I learn her ver’ quick.” “So you could understand it and talk it?” “Oh, yes, ver’ good. But I have one trouble ver" long time. 1 speak good, an’ I hear good, but cannot dream io English, 1 alway dream in Spanish. An‘ 1 feel ver’ bad, an’ I try so hard to dream English. An’ one night Ido. I dream English when Tam asleep, an’ I wake an’ Icry,an’ I weep for joy. Lam happy. Tan now dream in English." —Vouth's Companion ies of foreign languages we are GREAT AGENT “Have you sold your country villa yet?” “No; I'm not going to sell it now ” “How's that?” A STEADY FIRE During the discussion of the Madden bill for cheaper gas Con gressman Legare told the following story of a cook he had once brought from home with him. She was a splendid servant, but she didn’t know anything about gas to cook with, so he went to the kitchen with her to explain about the range. So that she could see how it was operated, he lit each of the many burners While still explaining, a messige called him from the kitchen, and he left ber, saying, “I guess you will find that it will work a right now, Martha.” He didn't sce the cook again for four ot five days, then upon entering the kitchen, he said, “Well, Marth: how’s that range doing?” ‘To his utter consternation, she replied,'* "Deed, sir, that’s th best stove I ever did see. That fire what you kindled for me foc days ago is still a-burning, and it ain't even lowered once.”~ Lippincett's “Well, I gave instructions to an agent to advertise it for ssle, and the description he wrote of it was so enchanting that I OPTIMISTIC BROWN "—Pele- Mele Brown's cheerfulness was a source of wonder and admiration — tohis friends. Either his religion or his philosophy taught him t accept everything asa wise dispensation. But then he had a larg share of worldly goods, his friends argued, and nothing but a versity would shake his faith. ‘Therefore when a promising crop was washed away by a flood the neighbors were much astonished to hear him say: “It all for the best. I was blest with an overabundance last year.” In the winter his house burned to the ground. To his neigh bors' solicitations he calmly responded : “The house never suited us anyway, so it is all for the best.” Other calamities befell Brown, but still he refused to be di heartened. ‘The climax came when be was ina railroad accident. Both feet were so badly crushed that amputation was necessary ‘Sympathetic friends gathered from all quarters. They dreaded to hear the lamentations they were sure would greet them, for even Brown could hardly be expected to pass this lightly by “Guess you are pretty well discouraged, aren't you, with both feet cut off 7" ventured some one. "Do you think this is all for the best?" But Brown nodded his head, smiling wanly, and sa “They were always cold, anyway!"—Ladies’ Home Journal. couldn't make up my mind to part with i AT SCHOOL, Mastir: If your friend borrows one thousand francs, agreeing to pay fifty francs a month, how much will he owe at the end f the year? Puri: A thousand francs You don’t know the elements of arithmetic!” “That may be, but I know my friend."—Translated J Transatlantic Tales from It Motto per Ridere. FOR SUMMER VACATION USE said Thomas A, Edison of a ne T have seen nothing to be “That idea is novel,’ aeroplane “It isa striking idea it since last summer. “Then a young man showed me an engagement ring tht he was going to patent, ‘But,’ said I, examining the ver ordinary looking circlet, ‘what is there patentable about this “It is adjustable, sir,’ said the young man, proudly.” Washington Star. “DUTCH INTERIOR” A SURE SIGN Servant (with a newly married couple To-day master noticed for the first time that I had been smoking his cigars. That shows the honeymoon is over.—Fliegende Blactter. Saarbach’s News Exchange, 1, New Coventry Street, Leicester Square, W., London: Saarbach News Exchange, 9 Rue St. Georges, Paris; Saarbach’s News Exchange, 1, Via Firenze, Mila Saarbach's News Exchange, Mayence, Germany. Th No contribution will be returned unless accompanied by stamped and addressed envelope The illustrations in Live. are copyrighted and are not to be reproduced. Prompt notifcation should be sent by subscribers of any change of address. Th $5.00 a year in advance. Additional postage to foreign Lire. is published every Thursday Single current copies, 10 cents. countries in the Postal Union, $1.04 a year; to Canada, 52 cents Back numbers, after three months {rom date of publication, 25 cents. Live is for sale by all Newsdealers in Great Britain. ‘The International News Company, Breams Building, Chancery Lane, London, E. C., England, Acrsts, Brentano's, 37 Avenue de VOpéra, Paris HUNTER \x|| . Vor guavartee of purity, see back \abel oneverybatle; WHISKEY " was Gist put. upon. the. market The Tes’ steady growth in. popularity throughout these many years proves it the perfect product of the still. Ti * \ Wat's YY WM. LANAHAN & SON, Baltimore, Md, == | [me @® First-class Hotels and Clubs on Wheels—1 "0%" The New York Central Lines ‘Trains of comicbooks.com