Life — July 25, 1907 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

oS E : e NOT EVEN THE CLOCK ‘Two ladies were being shown through the State Hospital for the Insane. As they entered a ward, one turned to the other and said, “I wonder if that clock is right?” An inmate standing near overheard her and instantly replied: “Great Scott, no! It wouldn't be here if it was!"— Lip pincett's Ww hiskey In a pinch, use Allen's Foot-Ease. Tue following appeal of a Western editor is still going the rounds, although it is to be hoped that by this time the writer's only trouble is in having his vest made large enough It has a bouquet that is all its own "We see by an esteemed contemporary that a young lady in 2A Chicago is so particular that she kneads bread with her gloves on, What of that? The editor of this paper needs bread with F: his coat on; “he needs bread with his trousers on; in fact, he needs bread with all of his clothes on. And if some of his cred “THE BEST IN THE EOUSE” itors don’t pay up pretty quick he'll need bread without any thing at all on, and this Western climate is no Garden of Eden.” Everybody's Tux Soni ror Hosrrtatiry: The Manor, Asheville, North Carolina, is the best inn South —Booklct. For THEY RUN THE SAME WAY Alfred E. Norris & Co., Proprietors, Philadelphia Eva: You seem to have a great deal of trouble with your automobile. What do you call it? Jack: True love ‘True love? Gracious! Why?" “Because true love never did run smooth.”"—Chicago Se Tu Japanese seem to request little more than that they shall em not be accorded the kind of treatment that would be accorded the most unfriendly nation. —Weshington Star HARTSHORN sible, Ts Hotel Vendome, Boston SHADE ROLLERS ‘tnay to operates Ref The ideal hotel of America for permanent and transient Bear the script name of Stewart Our Catalog Kt ks worth your having guests. Hartshorn on label. ‘ent 19 ceets tn nampa fo oot fond ented lew Get * Improved,” no tacks required. ee Noseaitation and Operation of « Uaeatine A xow well-known author once drifted down into Arkansis Wood Rollers Tia Rollers USITED MYG.CO, + + DETROIT, MICH. in search of local color. As he was “roughing it,” his appear ance was not calculated to inspire the local landlords with con _ fidence. In one town be was shown to a room on the third | floor, reached through many narrow and winding passiges From the one window it was a straight drop to the ground. “Say, how would I get out of this place in case of fire?” he asked the landlord, who had brought up his grip. ‘The other eyed him coldly.“ Wall,” he drawled, “all yo’ would have to do would be to show ther night watchman—the one with ther shotgua—a receipted bill foh yo" board an’ lodgin’ an’ get him to tie up ther bulldog.""—Bellman. Kenilworth Inn, Biltmore, N.C. Always open. Most superbly finished hotel south of New York 40 weeks’ anticipation, 10 of bustling preparation, s2 AN EYE TO BUSINESS . Lawver: I can get you a divorce without publicity for about a hundred pounds. Illustrated Bits Largely used for table prizes—" Rad-Bridge " Score pads. e “ Wett, Henry,” said the New York man who was visiting his visit the stockyards, the Art Institute and the Field Museum. I suppose it's an old story to you, s0 if you'll direct me right I'l find ‘em myself.” ‘The Chicago man lughed. “i'm ashamed to admit it,” he said, “ but the fact is I've lived in this town fifteen years and I've never been out to the stock. yards. I never visited the Field Museum and I've never been to the Art Institute, although I pass it every day of my life. 1 guess I'll take a day off and see the sights of my own town. He did, and was as much interested as his cousin. “Now when I go to New York in the fall," be said, “I want you to take me out to Ellis Island to see the immigrants come in. OF It must be a great sight. And I want to get the view from the Statue of Liberty and walk down the Bowery.” B Roun “Sure,” said the New York cousin, “I'd like to see those x things once myself."—Chicago Record-Herald. comicbooks.com