Life — June 27, 1907 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

*LIFE- Life’s Little Problems HERE were three elderly men who had dined together and now sat late over their whisky and cigars. They had been friends for many years and as the night waned and the fire flickered on the hearth, the talk became more intimate and personal. From business and the various external interests which engrossed them they fell to discussing life and the fortunes of the game. Then they touched on sentiment and gradually came to speak of the inner emotions of the heart and of I greatest lure—love. “My youth,” said the first man, “was haunted by the v of the ideal woman, and for many years my heart was dedi to that quest, with the result that I have, as you know, buried « they fell to discussing life . The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away. Bless” —he paused abruptly and bowed his head in token of grief. ‘The other two, respecting his silence, forbore to complete the quotation, The next man adjusted a frivolous necktie, carefully smoothed the creases in his too youthful coat and hastily suppressed an exclamation of pain as he felt a twinge in the gouty foot encased in a painfully tight shoe. ‘I,’ he said, “regard myself as singularly blessed. I feel that I am just about to learn what real happiness is. After many years of sentimental friendship. and fleeting flirtations, I have just married a young girl. A little gay and heedless, perhaps, a somewhat spoiled and wilful child, but all the more charming for that.” His friends glanced significantly at each other and again forbore to voice the quotation which rose to their lips: “When an old man marries a young wife.” The third man waited a few minutes before he spoke. Finally he sai “T have never married, and I do not know whether I have been wise or foolish. There have been many women and yet there has never been but one. Perhaps you two can tell me from the depths of your experience why, in all these years, I have not been able to forget her.” “Because,” said one of the cronies, ‘she was, of them all, the only one who ever really loved you.” “Ah, no,” replied the other. ‘She was the only one you never quite succeeded in winning.” One of these men was right. Which? Do you know? Mrs. Wilson Woodrow, The Liars’ Club Bulletin O LADIES are admitted, except on Ladies’ Day. There is a special messenger service provided between here and the White House. Before being admitted to membership, every applicant must have personal recommendations from the President. Don’t be too impatient to get in, Remember, there is a long waiting-list. Animal story telling on Saturday night, in the grill-room. There will be a baseball game next Sunday between the Railroad Liars and the Nature Liars. Following are the teams: RAILROAD Harriman............+ Baer... Truesdale. Thompson Scton Morgan : Ernest Ingersoll Mellen. Neltje Blanchan Kipling. Harold Baynes. Jack London. Noah NATURE Long. Roberts. Gould. Ryan. , Umpire: John Burroughs. Broad, All Right “‘l LIKE Bishop Edmund's scheme of salvation.” “What is it?” “Well, he says the Methodists will pick a sinner out of the gutter, the Baptists will wash him, the Presbyterians will blue him, the Episcopalians will starch him, the Roman Catholics will perfume him, the Salvation Army will teach him Brother- hood of Man—and then he will be ready for heaven.” Pest OLD LADY: What kind of a time did you have at the funeral ? Seconp Otp Lapy: Well, I’ve enjoyed myself more at others, comicbooks.com