Life, 1907-06-20 · page 19 of 32
Life — June 20, 1907 — page 19: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page mixes literary mockery with political commentary on the Peace Conference at The Hague (likely 1907). **The "Recipe" section** satirizes popular bestselling novels—formulaic romantic tales featuring attractive protagonists, melodrama, and excessive sentimentality ("forty-two pages of mad kisses"). **"The Teddyssey" mock program** parodies the Peace Conference through absurdist "events": - **Theodore Roosevelt** (referred to as "Teddysses") appears as a boxing combatant against the German Kaiser—a jab at Roosevelt's aggressive "big stick" diplomacy versus peaceful negotiation - The "sharpshooting contest" cruelly mocks imperial powers treating colonized peoples (Russian peasants, African negroes, Manchurian mongols) as disposable targets for territorial conquest - **Andrew Carnegie** wrestling an "Infant Industry" likely criticizes capitalist monopolies The short poems mock political hypocrisy: a king who keeps his word by producing offspring, and commentary on politicians claiming independence while serving party interests. The overall message: the Peace Conference will accomplish nothing; world powers remain committed to violence, imperialism, and self-interest.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
ZE U, S. PALLAS COLUMBIA, THE Recipe MAKE a Best Seller: € a statuesque blonde who looks like a cloak model and talks like a princess; A statuesque man, who looks like a floorwalker and talks like a matinee hero; Add one murder mystery, Two missing wills, Four runaway autos, Mix with two deadly ene- Z mies for twenty chapters. /|_<= Then take out the deadly Y= enemies and when the mix- ture comes to a boil | Rapidly stir in four pages of soft talk, One-half page of tears, One-half page of silence, Four pages of hugs, Five pages of clinging embraces THE TEDDYSSEY. BOOK IX And forty-two pages of mad kisses, scattering them quickly over the brow, the ear, the hair, the lips and the cheeks of the heroine. Close quickly and serve while warm. OME men would rather be liars than President. Programme ALTER considerable difficulty, Lire is enabled at last to announce the programme of the Peace Conference at The Hague. First Event A sparring match between Theodore Roosevelt and William of Germany, Marquis of Queensberry Rules. Referee, King Leopold. The contestants will use three-ounce gloves and will fight to a finish. PEOPLE, FOREIGN RULERS, ALL BESEECH TEDDYSSES TO RETAIN THE EMPIRE Second Event Andrew Carnegie will wrestle with an Infant Industry. No tackles allowed. Third Event Sharpshooting contest in which all the crowned heads will participate. Russian peasants, African negroes and Manchu- rian mongols will be used as targets. The one killing off the greatest number at 500 and 1,000 yards will be given a slice of territory. Other events announced later. Kept His Word HERE was a young king from Madrid Who promised his people a kid; When, true to his word, It came, they were stirred ‘To remark with delight: “Well, he did /”” TH man of independent views is more than a man—he is a party. comicbooks.com