Life — May 30, 1907 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

732 tion of the committee that they can lic to their wives without getting caught. Nocheck-rein will be permitted on any husband during the parade. After the disbanding, all husbands will be returned to their owners free of charge. But no responsibility is assumed. Should any husband attempt to escape, it will be construed as evidence against his master, who is liable to be remanded to court under the charge of cruelty to animals. L&s!se. asic. Lire, New York, N. Y. Dear LiJe—Your files will probably show you that our company had the unusual but notable foresight to get into your columns early as advertisers, and stay in them pretty consistently. Your attitude of poking high-class fun at the auto- mobile cranks is commendable, as is your good American nerve in doing so in the face of the amount of automobile advertising you are carrying. Perhaps the two facts are wedded in undivorceable union—but for the love of heaven call in your art department, also call them down and off from depicting four-cylinder cars in various cases of distress, with owners and But to keep up your high standard of artistic accuracy, suppose you send out your staff with the avowed purpose of *get- ting stuck" ina motor car, and let them make draw- ings on the spot, and you will find they will come home with a new idea of “mechaniciens” bending double over the dashboard, so to speak; straddling the hood, taking a sledge hammer to various parts of the mechanism—but alteays in a standing posture. drivers working under the machine. “CAN'T YOU GET WoRK?” “AH, NO; I WAS HATCHED UNDER THE EAVES OF A PRISON AND NOBODY WANTS TO HIRE A JAILBIRD.” ~LIPE- A word to Lire is always sufficient. Tam looking for neither the usual $s nor for editorial comment. Should be glad, however, to see this in print for the sake of fellow manufacturers, who will indorse my viewpoint Yours for roadability on the roads and the con: tinued and undeviating high standard of artistic veracity in the one and only Lirz. Please do not take my name off your subscription list. Yours very truly, Freep. L. Surm, April 12, 1907. Olds Motor Works. ‘THE EDITOR OF LIFE: Sir—Considerable acerbity righteously exists among naval officers because Congress docs not recognize the validity of their demands of an increase in their pay. ‘The table under which the Navy stand. ard of commensuration is based, whereby they are re- imbursed for their faithfulness to the country, was legalized thirty-five yearsago, Since then the cost of maintenance has increased at least 30 per cent. In other words, they are 50 per cent. less able to meet their obligations ‘to-day than in 1872. Prices are soaring, labor is better paid and even Congress has recognized its inability to keep pace with the times, and increased its yearly stipend for a few months’ work. Nevertheless, the "Big Stick" was theaten- ingly flourished at the Navy, because underpaid officers, unable to clothe themselves with the decency required of grave-diggers, and financially unable to rise from the level of cheap boarding-houses, which a great number are compelled to inhabit, had the temerity to openly favor legislation of a remedial nature, while the august chairman of the Senate Com- mittee on Naval Affairs objected to the Navy lobbying for their branch of the national defense. Shame, thrice shame. And so they are being brutally beaten and clubbed into submission and silence, such as becomes “‘an officer and a gentleman." Now, the common laborer in the shops has the right and does successfully strike for higher wages. But an arduous and universally acknowledged complete education of four yearsat Annapolis, supplemented with a practical polish of two years at sea, enables the possessor of that invaluable erudition to take advantage of the munificent compensation of $128.33 a month. Truly they labor for love. The hod-carrier of San Fran- cisco, with no technical skill beyond his strength, and a graduate of no school, unless that of poverty and its. attendant teachings, is entitled to and does receive greater compensation, so we are informed. Con- stitutional independence of thought and action is denied the officers, and under the baneful shadow and threat of courts martial, they have been prevented from exercising a natural instinct, born and nurtured in liberty, that of self-preservation, an attempt to shun the degradation of poverty and avoid social disgrace. When a beggar {s content with his lot, who will endeavor to ameliorate it? Doubtless no one. When an officer requests recognition of his comparative poverty, who will lend an appreciative ear? Under Executive repression how much better is he than the mendicant? Shame, thrice shame. K. C. Brion, A Zero Occupation “(AN any one take something from nothing and still have anything?” “Of course. Doesn’t Peary make a living out of not discovering the pole?” Hoch ! “TIS hands,” exclaims Mr. Andrew Camegie, having reference to the Emperor William, ‘are guiltless of hu- man bloodshed in international war.” There is a nice distinction here, and not less important than nice. Interna- tional war is, of course, war between na- tions. Niggers in darkest Africa are not a nation, They have no navy. They send no delegates to the Peace Congress. ‘They are, in fine, small potatoes and few in a hill. So it is true that the Emperor’s hands are guiltless of bloodshed in internation- al war. With a Christian moderation worthy of all praise, he has steadfastly refrained from pasting anybody who was in the least likely to paste him back. GIRL is rarely deaf to a man’s pro- posal when a diamond ring accom- panies it—at least, not stone deaf. “Owed” to “Life” (From a friend) Trenchant in satire, Fearless in strife, Brilliant in back-fire— Such is “Life.” Reeking with jollity, Keen as a knife, Truth for its policy— Such is “Life.” comicbooks.com