Life — April 25, 1907 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘erome, W. T. This gentleman was bom in the rural districts of Connecti- cut. He is now doing his best to lead an honest life. He has the reputation for being the most inquisitive person in the country, and to some experts he is a standing menace. As an actor he has Deen a great success, though mostly in vaudeville. He is very fond of battle, murder and sudden death, but usually goes gunning for multimillionaires with blank cartridges. Though not an objec- tionable person in any sense, he is yet making objections so constantly as to have acquired a reputation. His favorite occupation is trying to look unpleasant and succeeding at it. Favorite flowers, the creeper and the smartweed. Author of “The Big Fish and How They Es- cape.” Motto: “It never rains but it haws.” + Address, care Consolidated 3as Company. Then, and Now 1904 EAR MR. H 1 hope that you Will come to see me soon. Eschew ‘The thought that I would tap your mite; We'll just talk statesmanship all night; We're practical, but I loathe pelf And love you, Edward, for yourself. 1906 Dear Mr. S: T never said We wished the cash that slipp’ry Ed Put up; 'tis true we talked one night, To his improvement, my delight, Of statesmanship; but little I Suspected how the man would lie. Fortunate OBBLE : I had great luck in Wall Street. Stone: What did you do? “Came out even.” -LIFE- Who's What In and Out of America Rockefeller, J. D. A well-known rebate manufacturer and principal owner of the United States of America. Also chief patron of the University of Chicago, the Baptist Church and the Canting House attached to the Stand- ard Oil. This young man began life in Cleveland as a poor bookkeeper, in the fear of the Lord and the compan- ionship of the Pennsylvania Railroad. He became exceedingly social in his work, gradually making the acquaint- ance of all the widows and orphans in the midde West, and is now known as the Oily Gammon of the world at large. He lives a simple, hairless life of shame, and in spite of a son who is superintendent of a fast Bible class, he still looks the world bravely in the face. His principal occu- pation is mowing and reaping coupons, playing golf and keeping a scrap-book of colored indictments. Author of “The Malefactor,” “Foxy Grandpa,” “Pipe Dreams,” “The Descent Into Hell,” etc. Motto: “TI care not who makes the laws of the country so long as I can control the lawyers.” Address, The Needle’s Eye Gate, New Jerusalem. Collegians 'HEO LOGGE: When you make lying excuses for not attending chapel you can’t fool the Ruler of the Universe, my boy. YALETON PrincEvarpD: I don’t try to. It’s the ruler of the university I try to hoodwink. ) (ae 1S THE SPICE OF LIFE)! Smoot, Reed. A prominent wife merger and senatorial scapegoat, who leads a quintuple life in Salt Lake City and is a grass widower on the syndicate plan in Washington. This young man began in life as the manager of a Cupid Incubator stock farm, and went. into politics to get peace and quictness. His principal mission has been to merge the prophet Brigham Young with the Con- stitution of the United States. He is the author of “Homes, Sweet Homes,” “‘ How to Listen to Curtain Lectures,” ‘There’s a Light in the Window(s) for Me,” “The Babies on Our Block,” etc. Prin- cipal recreation, squaring himself. Fav- orite flower, the bachelor’s-button. Toast: “‘Here’s to our wives and sweethearts; may they never meet.” Address, The Rest Cure Club, Utah. An Old Song Revised HE Muse and Poet had a fight. They fit all day and they fit all night, And next ten years these fyttes were seen Harpers Scribner's The Century ) Everybody's In 4 McClure's Ainslee’s Pearson's Appleton's monthly magazine. Not to mention Collier's and the Literary Digest. Carlyle Smith. One Way Out of It G[eOOk here, young man, I don’t care to have you seeing my daughter evenings any more.” “Very good, sir. I'll just speak to her and have her turn the light entire- ly off before I go into the parlor after this.” comicbooks.com