Life — April 25, 1907 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AvT SEISSOR iA rere rn: THE LORDLY CLERK OF THE SWELL HOTEL In je I’ve scanned the ways of the truly great; But the greatest man in the tide of time, Without whose nod the world scarce moves, Is the lordly clerk of the swell hotel neyings oft through many a clime If you're spangled o'er with jewels rare And clothed in fashion’s latest vogue, And scatter your coin with a reckless air, You're always welcomed by the eagle eye Of the lordly clerk of the swell hotel But if modestly garbed in plainer style, You approach the throne in an humble way And ‘ou cateh the € By the lordly clerk of the swell hotel © exceeding glad if once in awhile € OF your questions are heard While he showers his smiles on the rich and the proud You patiently wait in the far background Till his regal highness’s served all the crowd, And you modestly ask for letters from home Of the lordly clerk of the swell hotel id scarcely deigning a glance at you, atall through letters or mail, He answers quickly, and impatiently, too, “There's nothing at all in the lot for you." Does the lordly clerk of the swell hotel Nor lookin, And so you patiently wait for letters from home, Asking day after day for the expected word, And wonder why they never will come, Feeling ashamed so often to trouble or bore ‘The lordly clerk of the swell hotel But when your journey is o'er and you hail Your return (o friends in the dear old home, You write to the big hotel to please remail ‘The messages of love that never were found By the lordly clerk of the swell hotel M. Johnson, in New York Sun. NO ASSISTANCE “Helpt ‘The cry ose from Wall Street “What's t asked a kindly executive, pausing in the midst of a game nis, Matter € inued the voice, with a tremolo. been selling what I didn't have and buyi f anguish “Tve @ what I couldn't pay for.” “Well, off resuming play H the mollyce " exclaimed the executive, Philadelphia Ledger NOT WRONG, BUT— Emanuel Lasker, the chess expert, was discussing in New k the ethics of a certain style of pla “Well,” he ended, laughing, “I suppose it is all right; bat itisintricate, ch? Itis like the subject discussed in the debating society “Ts it wrong'—that was the subject of debate—'Is it w to cheat a lawyer?’ “The decision after three hours’ argument was: “*Not wrong, but too difficult to Washington Star y for the trouble.""— Mr. Thomas Kat: wow rury THe Aue 1s, 10 PUT NEW LIVES INTO ONE “Wane it is, of course, a platitude to say that a wise teacher learns by instructing others,” recently observed an instructor in a preparatory school in Brooklyn, “it is permissible to remark that he frequently picks up some curious information in this way “T once asked a boy to explain, if he could, the difference between animal instinct and h pretty bard question, but the lad was equal to it “*If we had instinct," he s3 man intelligence. It was a |. ‘we shoukl know everything we needed to know without learning it; but we've got reaso and so we have to study ourselves most blind, or be a fool.""— Harper's Weetly AN EXPENSIVE LUXURY For the first time in six months Mr. Elmer Jurgins, on two consecutive mornings, walked to the railway station. As he went, men turned to stare at him, women pointed at him out of the windows, and even the small dogs seemed to take delight in barking at him. At the station his arrival created a mild stir, and on the second morning a group of his fellow citizens gathered about him. “Mr. Jurgins,” said the spokesman, the depot in this humble fashion? bile?” “Sold it," said Jurgins, shortly. “Going to get a larger one?” “No, sir; I'm done with ‘em. A murmur of surprise ran through the group. “Cost too much ?" inquired the spokesman. “Not at all. It was not very expensive to buy, and it was cheap to run. It was not the automobile that I kept, but keeping an automobile, which was expensive. Some one asked for an explanation. “Well, gentlemen,” said Jurgins, “six months ago every maa in this town called me *Jurg,’ was glad to walk with me and swap yarns, moved up to give me half his seat in the car, and seemed generally satisfied with me. Blicks, the grocer, knocked off a little on my bill now and then, and gave my boy a bag of candy when I settled with him Toomy gave me two thousind pounds of coal in a ton, and never sent a bill for it until I asked him what I owed him “L hired your boy, Billings, for ten cents an hour to cut my grass and do chores. I used to do most of them myself, in the evening. “ My wife could buy ten yards of goods and cut a dress, hire Nancy Cook for two dollars a day to sew it together, and £1 and be as well dressed as the rest of the women here. And when there was tennis, croquet of golf, no one in town was more likely to be asked to take a hand than my wife and 1 “Then I bought that automobile. “For at least four months no man in town has called me anything but ‘Mr. Jurgins.” “Blicks adds a little to every bill because he thinks 1 ca afford it “Toomy cuts the weight short and demands cash. “Nancy Cook is only a seamstress when she sews for your wives, When mine wants her she is a modiste at five dollars a day, and requires fifteen yards of goods ™ Billings’s boy won't work for me at all, since he no longer considers it a neighborhood service, and I have to get a man at thinyy cents an hour—and he has to do everything. My milk costs me a cent a quart more, and I haven't been asked to play tennis, golf, baseball of croquet once this summer. “No, gentlemen, I could buy an automobile, buy gasoline for it and hire repairs made if necessary, but I can’t afford to keep the automobile in the town I live in and let it be known that hy do you walk to Where is your automo. own it “Boys, Lam no longer ‘Mr. Jurgins’ the automobilist, Tam “ Jury” again, old ‘Jurg,’ henceforth and forevermore.” ‘4s the train pulled in there was a rush by each commu secure a whole seat, one-half of which he could offer in fellow to the restored comrade.— Youth's Companion. Lire, is published every Thursday Postal Union, $1.04 a year extra from date of publication, 25 cents. Lire is for sale by all Newsdealers in Great Britain. ng Chancery Lane, La E. C., England, / $5.00 a year in advance. Single current copies, 10 cents. ENTS, P B ‘The International News Company, Breams, ign countries in the k numbers, after three months Saarbach’s News an . 9 Rue St. € The illustrations in Lt Saarbach's News Exchane, Ma ‘contribution will be returned unless accompanied by stamped and addressed envelope. are copyrighted and are not to be reproduced. treet, Leicester Square, W London; Saarbach's rbach’s News E: : y Prompt notifcation should be sent by subscribers of any change of address Vor guarantee of purity, see back \abel onevery baile; Wats WAS | THE LEGIONS OF CASAR Were not nearly so numerous as the vast multitude who daily fortify and comfort the “‘inner man" with a wee nippie" of HUNTER WHISKEY WM. LANAHAN & SON, Baltimore, Md, @ 20TH CENTURY LIMITED— $86 18-HOUR TRAIN TO CHICAGO New York Central and Lake Shore comicbooks.com