Life, 1907-03-14 · page 20 of 24
Life — March 14, 1907 — page 20: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page showcases **Life magazine's satirical humor section**, featuring three brief anecdotes mocking contemporary figures and situations: 1. **"The Unquiet Stairs"**: A German is cross-examined about stairs in a Cincinnati courthouse. The joke plays on his accent ("oop-tairs dey run oop"), satirizing immigrant speech patterns common in American humor of this era. 2. **"Unsweetened Condensed Milk"** and **"Wellington Was Too Late"**: Brief, witty stories about bureaucratic absurdity and social pretension—typical of Life's satirical style targeting American institutions and high society. 3. **"Implying Conceit"**: A short joke about a lawyer who always signs his name in full, fearing confusion with other lawyers—mocking professional vanity. The page is dominated by **period advertisements** for whiskey, champagne, and cocktails, reflecting early 1900s consumer culture. The satirical content targets immigrants, bureaucrats, and the upper classes through gentle mockery rather than harsh political commentary.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“OUR FOOL!SHa ONTEMPORARIE THE UNQUIET STAIRS suit in a Cincinnati court a Lwyer was cross ler inquiry being the relative hb, ina house in which red, will you be good airs run in your b 1 moment. “How do they cn Tam oop-tairs dey run stairs dey run oop."—Harper's Unsweetened Condensed Milk "+ Peerless Brand Exaporated Milk is ideal milk, col- ans, condensed in vacuo to | ud by sterilization oly ed to all pu lected under perfect sanitary cor | uit poses where milk the consistency of ¢ Commerce Commissioner, on ington, wanted to reserve a He wired the request, and o'tdoit. Int Commerce Com- He fired a wire back, reading: “By you say Interstate Commerce Cot to reserve a berth in a sleeping-car “By the authority of a recent ty aphed: “I| the Interstate Commerce Commission, and am And a rth re berth from Chicago to Min came back: "C apolis. miliar with the ruling. Give me a referenc t time afterward he received this telegram: Hotel Vendome, Boston Commonwealth Avenue. No smoke or noise from A coxrespoxpest sends following: “I see be the | an be after raisin’ the 10 his elbow and to his jaw, small quantities that is Army ‘Tur fact that Lawyer Delmas has leased a New Vor for a term of years indicates hi ‘Thaw case to th Inn, Biltmore, N.C. hotel south of New York. Always open. Most superbly WELLINGTON WAS TOO LATE css Hurdett-Coutts used to relate with keen the Duke of Well Duke took S On the he said, “that you have so few ow ror Hosrrratity: The Manor, Asheville, North IMPLYING CONCEIT 1c always signed hi par in New Yor ame, s¢ before the Court of Ap s O'Conor the name of the gentleman who was untry lawyer el Loe, Je. and he puts hat he may not be mistaken for | > Gest: ‘Pon my word, ma: known you, you have altered so much Lay (arckly): For the better of for “Ab, madam, you could “Merry have we met, Merry have we been, Merry may we part, And merry meet again.” iskey Green Label. SOLE PROPRIETORS TE, Z. ESTABLISHED AT ALL FIRST-CLA DEALERS. 1793 EDGECOMBE AVENUE A.Ciub-Cochtail a 1s SAROTTLED DELIGHT Instead of a mixture \ . of wines, it is now the fashion to HOUSANDS have discarded the idea of making their own cocktails,—all will after giving the CLUB COCKTAILS a fair trial. Scientifically blended from the choicest old liquors and mellowed with age make them the perfect cocktails that they are. Seven kinds, most popular of which are Martini (Gin base}, Manhattan ( Whiskey base). The following label appears on every bottle : Guaranteed under the National Puro Food and Drugs Act. Approved June 30th, 1906. Serial No. 1707. G. F. HEUBLEIN & BRO., Sole Props Hartford New York London “champagne aN ExTRA ORY, STRAIGHT WHIS KEY SOLE OLD CROW RYE H. B. KIRK & CO. BOTTLERS, NEW YORK comicbooks.com