Life, 1907-03-07 · page 14 of 52
Life — March 7, 1907 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page features "The Literary Zoo," a column presenting anecdotes about President Abraham Lincoln. The illustrated engraving at top shows Lincoln intervening in a street brawl to protect a speaker's right to free speech—a tale emphasizing Lincoln's physical courage and commitment to democratic principles. The text collects several Lincoln stories illustrating his wit and practical wisdom: his argument that God designed humans with both hands and mouths for work and eating; his response to abolitionists demanding immediate emancipation (using the absurd example of calling a sheep's tail a leg to show declarations don't change reality); and his courtroom rebuke of a verbose opponent, comparing the man's loss of mental function while speaking to a malfunctioning steamboat. These anecdotes present Lincoln as both physically brave and intellectually sharp—a folk hero of common sense and moral clarity.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
the direction of tone production made by us have resulted in the A DEPARTURE IN TONE PRODUCTION. @ Recent experiments in perfection of a notable Grand Piano, the Style X (next in size larger than the famous Quarter Grand). @, It is an instrument of rare and exquisite tone, in which quality and not quantity has been the first consid- eration. @ It is a new departure in modern piano building, and in inviting attention to it we do so with much pride in the success of our efforts. CHICKERING & SONS, 796 Tremont St., BOSTON Established 1823 Catalogue upon request Are you furnishing a House or Decorating a Room? Have you wall spaces or spots which you wish to make artistically effective at small cost? A dainty catalogue showing in miniature reproductions many of Life's Prints will be sent to any address upon request. LIFE PUBLISHING COMPANY, 17 West 3lst Street, 334 Life’s Pictures are Particularly Appropriate NEW YORK GTheliteraryJoos when something adverse in his harangue in- cited the unruly to assault the speaker and to pull him down. By a happy chance, Lincoln was lending his ear to the discussion, and, peering down through the hole in the fl perceived the danger of his friend. Im- mediately, without delaying to run around and descend by the stairs, he thrust hi fect and long legs through the opening a dropped like a bolt out of the sky into the melee. Picking up a water-jug, and striking an attitude of defense, he shouted: “Hold on, gentlemen, this is a land of free eech! Mr, Baker has a right to be heard. m here to protect him, and no man shall him from this stand if 1 can prevent This dictum of the deus ex machina im- posed order, and the orator was allowed to continue his speech. All Hands and No Mouths “T hold that if the Almighty had ever made a set of men that should do ail the eating and none of the work, He would have made them with mouths only and no hands; and if He had ever made another class that He intended should do all the work and no eating, He would have made them with hands only and no mouths.” Litigation “Discourage litigation! There will still be business enough.” —Notes for a lecture on the law. “How Many Legs Will a Sheep Have?” President Lincoln replied to a deputation, one of many urging imme pation when the proposition was not yet framed as a bill: “If 1 issue a proclamation now, as you suggest, it will be as ineffectual as the Pope's bull against the comet. It cannot be forced Now, by way of illustration—how many legs will a sheep have if you call his tail a leg?” ‘They all answered “ Five.” “You are mistaken, for calling a tail a leg does hot make it so. The Retort Effectual Replying to the argument of a wordy legal opponent, Lincoln said “My friend on the other side is all right, or would be all right, were it not for the pecu- liarity Tam about to chronicle. His habit— ainful ou in this case of which you have witnessed specimen in his argument to y of reckless assertion and statements without grounds need not be imputed to him as a moral fault or as telling of a moral blemish, He can’t help it. For reasons which, gentle- men of the jury, you and I have the time to study hei hey are sur- prising, the y of the gentleman com- pletely suspends all action of his mind. The moment he begins to talk, his mental opera- tions cease. I never knew of but one thing which compared with my friend in this particular. ‘That was a small steamboat Back in the days when I performed my part as a keel boatman [1830], I made the ac- quaintance of a trifling little steamboat which used to bustle and puff and wheeze about the Sangamon River. It had a five-foot boiler a ver, comicbooks.com