Life — February 7, 1907 — page 39: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

eh) dle ue 1 1 > along all right without anybody around but you—except when it comes var time. Then I git almighty lonesome for a feller-smoker.’ ight after night Jim would flare up like that, and I couldn’t seem to think of anything to say but ‘It’s too bad, Jim.’ That was all—just ‘I's too bad, Jim.” “But, finally, an idea struck through my head, and the next d ever Jim had went out prospectin’, I hunted up one of his cigars and looked at it very dubious. A long, black cigar ain’t especially becomin’ to a woman’s style, and besides I'd been brought up to believe that a woman who would smoke--why, there wan’t anything she wouldn’t do! I hesitated a long time, but I allowed finally that the Lord would forgive the sin for Jim’s sake. “And so I lit it. I took about three pufis. Then I reckoned the Lord had given a sign that he didn’t approve. The floor of the shack begun to rock to and fro and I set right down expectin’ to see the roof spill in on me. I never felt just that way, except when I was on the steamer comin’ over here—same rollin’ motion, same feelin’ that my stummick was unhappy.” ‘The English guests were plainly shocked at the mention of this for- bidden organ. It was before Mr. Barrie’s happy invention of the term, Little Mary.” But the Queen, innocent of her offense against Bri morals, went on: “That night, when Jim come home all tuckered out, and begun fussin’ once more about hating to smoke alone, I says to him, s'I: ‘Well, how come you ever got to likin’ those things, I and. I should think they’d make you sick as a dawg,’ s'L” “Jim kind o' laughed and said: ‘Well, I reckon they sure did. The first time I ever tried one I was only a boy about knee-high to a grass- hopper,’ s'he, ‘and I went behind pa’s barn and monkeyed with a cigarette the hired man give me. Gee!’ he says, ‘but I was tore up inside,’ she. ‘The barn went up like a balloon and the trees in the back pasture got all tangled up together,’ s’he.. ‘But a week later, I tried again, and the second time,’ s’he, ‘I wan't quite so upset. The barn stayed on the ground and only the trees got twisted,’ he says. ‘The third time,’ he says, ‘I got clean through with one, and when I walked to the house all I noticed,’ s'he, ‘was that the ground was kind of wavy, and it was mostly rollin’ prairie where I went. But after that,’ he say ‘T got so I liked tobacco and was lonesome without it.” “Then Jim told me it was like the way he come to fancy me. First time he seen me, he told me, he thought I was the homeliest, freckledest, loudest-mouthed, gigglin’est girl he ever see, and he said he wondered how such girls ever got married. He thought my trunk was checked ight through for Old Maid’s Town. Next time hi n me, he told me, he forgot about the freckles, and just hated my everlasting laughin mostly at him lly, he got so’s’t he said he'd rather have me laugh at him than have any of the other girls make love to him. Then one night he popped the question. I guess the ground was kind of rollin’ prairie again that night, eh, Jim?” Jim blushed like a hollyhock and choked on his Chartreuse. ‘The Queen giggled like a girl, and resumed: “Well, we won’t switch off onto that. What Jim said made me think T'd ought to give the cigars another chance. So the next day I got out another one—and begun on it. I didn’t fall over this time—because 1 laid down before I lit it. But I thought I was in a hammock in a high wind, and I give it up once more. “That night same growl from Jim. He certainly looked kind of down in the mouth. So next day I tried it again. Well, cigars is like olives. When Jim struck it rich and we come East, I had to learn everything from the start. I ain’t one of these seen-better-days folks. Iwas born poor and brought up plain. But when the day come that our only worry was how to spend the royalties that kept comin’ in, I took lessons in how to wear ciothes, how to walk, how to eat, how to talk, how to almost everything. I begun too late to git very far, as you all must have saw by now, but my intentions was good. ‘The only thing 1 found easy was learning to like most things to eat, even if I couldn’t tell ‘em apart with their French names. But olives! Lands sakes alive! the first one I et tied a bow-knot in my eesophokles and upset my whole elementary canal. Then I got an olive-teacher and took lessons; so that now I can eat an olive and look almost as if I liked it. “Ttwas the same way with cigars. About the fifth day I got clean to the end of one of ‘em. I never let on to Jim, of course. ‘There was This s‘ory continued on page 216 wo cig soon’s “Onyx Flosiery is always spoken of with praise by hosts of wearers. It ts the finest hosiery procurable. Excels in beauty of Hand-embroidered Designs, in wide range of Colors, in Durability, in all-around Comfort and Satisfaction. “Onyx” Hosiery ts indispensable for all occasions, Every pair bears Trade-Mark shown below: it ts the hall-mark of highest class hosiery made, Take no substitute, Sold by all Dealers. If not found at your shop, write to Lord & Taylor Wholesale Distributors New York comicbooks.com