Life — December 27, 1906 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘LIFE: 817 Etemal Query THE question as to whether Mary Baker Eddy isalive or not is interesting. The latest rumors from Concord are that she will live for- ever. Not confirmed. Being alive is, after all, a delicate ques- tion on the part of all of us, and open to constant suspicion. Some folks are half dead, others have one foot in the grave and the other in mortal mind. It is contended by many that life is after all only a dream, open, of course, to many interpretations, none of which is en- i tory to captious critics. Indeed, it seems to be an open question as to whether most alive or not. Itis y admitted that the preponder- ance of evidence is in favor of Theodore Roosevelt being alive, the burden of proof being on those he ha contra, how is it with Herr Conried? 1 monies. Is he one of them, or among th ragtime entit ‘The truth is that no one can really settle the question as to whether any of us is really alive or not. Possibly we may be all muttering in our sleep. not butted into, Per here be divine har- he ultra: mundane or Soldiers Who Died Untried HE Topeka State Capital points out that the official annual reports of the Judge Advocate General of the Army don seem to bear out the assertion that the abolition of the arm canteen has demoralized the soldiers. The Judge Advocate’s last report, it seems, shows a decrease of 204 trials by court- martial, as compared with the year before. ‘The State Capital thinks that if the absence of the canteen were making mischief, there would be an increase in the number of trials, not a decrease. Maybe so, But wili our Kansas brother take a look at the latest report of the Surgeon-General of the Army? He will find there that the death rate in our army is next to the highest in the world, and that in alcoholism and dysentery our troops beat all the other armies. Is there anything unlikely in the supposition that a consid erable number of the troops that the Judge Advocate General's department is used to try by court-martial got into the Surgeon- General’s department, and died there of alcoholism induced by the policy of the W. C. T. U. in substituting rotgut dive whisky for post-exchange beer? That may be what happened. But, anyhow, the Surgeon- General, not the Judge Advocate General, is the officer be: qualified to know what effect the abolition of the post-canteen has had on the army. Soldiers who get drunk are very seldom tried by court-martial. Ordinarily they are put in the guard- house to sober up. Safety in Silence RS. GAYMON : Yes, auntic, now that I am Herbert's wife, he is another man. Aunt MartHa: Well, don't you go telling people you're another man’s wife or you'll be getting tried for bigamy. Solid IS IMPERIAL MAJESTY: What’s the matter with last arrival? He’s been in our hottest room now for twenty-four hours, and hasn’t thawed out yet. AssISTANT FIREMAN: No, your Majes You see, just before he left he took a winter’s ride in an auto with his spring overcoat on, “1 SAY, GRANDMA, DON'T YOU KNOW IT'S COOD MANNERS FOR YoU To CET UP AND GIVE YOUR SEAT To ComPANy?” comicbooks.com