Life — November 29, 1906 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE PERFECT BRIDCE PLAYER Who is the perfect bridge player? Who is be Whose partner ev'ry man would wish to be? He who, at whist once expert, now when brought 2 the keener joys of bridge. hath wrought Subtle improvement in his former thous! te unfettered by his ancient ways, s himself to circumstance and plays As sense directs, though with a due regard » what convention says on the discard, The lead and declaration : quick to learn What knowledge can perform and yet discern adherence to a rule, In theory right. in practice marks the fool: Who doomed to play in partnership with mea Prone to declare oa five hearts to the ten Without support, dissembling all his pain Turns his necessity to glorious gain, "And, come what will, is equal to the need, Makiog his partner's wildest calls succeed; Is placable and slow to take offense, to the rash and gentle to the dense, xclined to chide, Most smiling when he's most dissatisfied; Is not dejected when his cards are bad, Nor, when they're good, exuberantly glad; Who, with a toward of untoward lot, Prospe adverse, to his wish or not, Still from his hand gets all that can be got, Plays to the score and judges from its state When to be bold oF And of two declarations makes that one to hesitate, py the game can he most surely w in doubling. toc what he will do, ‘And never by an overlong delay Hints what may influence the partner's play: lly, though scrupulously fair, f nd takes care, ce player. This is be Whose partner ev'ry man would wish to be. Westminster Gazette. A CURIOUS NOTICE wall of a house in the In case of fire, ask The follgwing notice is inscribed on Rue de Strasbourg, Saint Denis, France for belp at the cemetery."—London Express. FOUND Jouyny: What is the submerged tenth? Pa: The fellows. er th autos.—New York Sun. FREE STARS During Ambassador George voa L. Meyer's régime in Italy he ordered a set of china to be used for every-day purposes. The order demanded that around the edize should be a decoration of stars for each State in the Union. When the china arrived and the barrels were opened it was found that many more stars had been used than the order demanded. ‘The decorator was called and when asked what it meant replied coolly : “Well, perhaps there are a few more than you said, but I assure you it shall not cost_you any more money.!"— Boston Herald. NOT THE TIME FOR MAGNIFYING GLASSES ‘There was a little Scottish boy who had the quality of astute- ness highly developed. ‘The boy's grandmother was packing his lunch for him to take to school one morning. Suddenly, looking up into the old lady's face, he sa “Grandmother, yer specs magnify?” A little, my child,” she answered. Aweel, then,” said the boy, “I wad juist like it if ye wad tak? LAYING IN THE WINTER COAL FOR AND AGAINST “Lieut. Frank Lahm, who is now the world's champion bal- loonist,"" said an aeronaut in New York, “isa young man with a muscular figure and a resolute face. He is remarkable in aero- nautics for his skill and his prudence. “T once heard an inven’ invention in the way of a safety anchor. “*A safety anchor, eh?? said Lahm, ‘Well, with that anchor Tshould be about as frightened as the old lady in the skyscraper hotel. “This old lady, on being assigned to a room on the nine- teenth for, asked the bell hop nervously if the proprietor bad taken any precautions against fire insured for three t ¢ describing to him a ra her poor A LOVE SONG OF THE STATES Ob, won't you come and stay with ME., ‘And bear me no ILL. will? I've lots of shares of copper ORE., And riches to your fill. Ab, lovely MISS., just marry me! LA.1 how pleased I would be! I'd be so GA. I'd never need To visit an MD. I'd CONN. new ways of pleasing you To know you're ever by Would make me feel as ALA. mode As Kaiser Bill, R. I. ‘Then let me ask your PA.’s consent As soo as you see fit, And all our married life. O. love, Be sure you sball be I. T. ATENN. you'll have at any time, Andelest my love you doubt, We'll dine each day at a hotel, And put our WASH. all out. —Baltimore America: A STORY OF DANIEL O'DAY “I cannot speak of Daniel O'Day without emotion,” said ove of his associates. “There never was a braver, truer man to wotk with. He was master of his business, master of resources. and one always felt that at the call of duty of the behest of friendship he'would cross the continent at an hour's notice. This quality always made him a picturesque figure. He was a cavalier of old fields." Of his many benevelences, tates without pumber a evidencing his mother wit as well as the universalit One recalled by a friend seems worth telling: Mr. O'Day was a Catholic and the friend was a Protestart The latter, finding Daniel O'Day’s name down for a thumpsag subscription to a Baptist charity, asked him how be could squ himself with the Pope. O'Day, assuming his quizzical execs sion, said “Well, the next world, maybe, is not accurately charted, bet between you and me that Baptist subscription was a little anche thrown to windwardiin the waters of Heaven.""—Neee Vert Me CIRCUMSTANCES ALTER CASES Eugene Higgins, at a dinner on his yatht Varuna, described winter he had spent at Nice. * “But the Nice beggars!” he said, laughing. “The spleaiil sun-drenched Promenade des Anglais, with its ivory white wills ‘on one side and the blue Mediterranean on the other. is al haunted with these beggars. One of them acco morning as I came out of the Cercle Mediterranean, able French club. Monsicur,’ he sai J me ose he fashion one little sou, for the love of heaves. My poor wife is starving.” “"Why, look here,’ said I, ‘only last week I money to bury your wife, and now you tell mi How can that be nonsieur,” said the beggar. “I have a new wife pos.” ve you sone she is starneg spb public cents, jor sale by all Newsdealers in G ancery Lane, London, E. C from date Britain. The I England, Acrts. Thursday, $5.00 a year in advance. Pos extra. Single current copies, 10 cents. to foreign countries B, ets, after three months The illustrations in ional News Co cam" nat Company, Bream! Peiaifi No contribution will be returned unless accompanied by stamped and addressed envdete Lire are copyrighted, and are not to be reproduced. Acation should be sent by subscribers of any change of address. Wison- Yor guarantee of purity, see back label oneverubdile; Wats Wt MOFFAT. YARD. & COMPANY NOW READY EVERYWHERE WOrFAT, YARD & COMPAST Illustrated by Bayard Jones The VON BLUMERS By TOM MASSON Managing Editor of LIFE and Author of «<A Corner in Women” This FINE STORY DEALS, with INSIGHT and BRILLIANCY, with the ROMANC and HUMOR of MARRIED LIFE 12mo, $1.50 net (postage 14¢-) MOFFAT, YARD & COMPANY, NEW YORK @ New York Central’s Grand Central Station, center of the city of New Yor cComicbooks.com