Life — November 22, 1906 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

looking at you” CoOOR’S Ghampagne RECORD Isao! A Long Root N IRISHMAN, with one jaw very much swollen from a tooth that he wished to have pulled, entered the office of a Washington dentist. When the suffering Celt was put into the chair and saw the gleaming forceps approaching his face, he positively refused to open his mouth. Being a man of resource, the dentist quietly instructed his assistant to push a pin into the patient’s leg, so that when the Irishman opened his mouth to yell the dentist could get at the refractory molar. When all was over, the dentist smilingly asked: * “Tt didn’t hurt as much as you expected, did we” “Well, no,” reluctantly admitted the patient. “But,” he added, as he ran his hand over the Hace into which the assistant had inserted the , ‘little did I think them roots wint that far down!” —Success. Fun for Thanksgiving The new Parker Game, Quica Sabe. Jolly! Fun for Thanks- Day! Learned in two minutes. Entirely unique. By the takers of Pit and Ping-Pong. Seventy-five cents at all dealers © maited postpaid by Parker Brothers, Salem, Mass. The Wrong Language RAYING in public in a foreign language is always difficult, and the Rev. Thomas Joyner and his friend Dr. Samuel Sneed, tw6 missionaries in China, found it especially hard. On one Thursday afternoon the two were attend- ing a service conducted by the Chinese, when the leader requested “Pastor Joyner” to lead in prayer. The missionary, in a sudden burst of inspiration, leaped to his feet and began praying with a facility that quite astonished even himself, but that, as the sequel shows, no less surprised the Chinese. At last he began to suspect that some- thing was wrong, faltered a moment, then burst out in disgust: - “Gracious, Sneed! Am I saying this in Eng- lish?” —Harper’s Magazine, The Other Way Round N A trolley accident in New England an Irish- man was badly hurt, The next day a lawyer called on him and asked if he intended to sue the company for damages. “Damages?” said Pat, looking feebly over his bandages. ‘Sure, I have thim already. I'd loi to sue the railway for repairs, sor, av ye'll take the case.” — Youth's Companion. LARK HOWELL, of Atlanta, tells of the sad case of an elderly darky in Georgia charged with the theft of some chickens. The negro had the misfortune to be defended by a young and inexperienced attorney, although it is doubtful whether any one could have secured his acquittal, the commission of the crime having been proved beyond all doubt. The darky received a pretty severe sentence. “Thank you, sah,” said he, cheerfully, ad- dressing the judge when the sentence had been announced, “Dat’s mighty hard, sah, but it ain’t anywhere near what I ’spected. I thought, sah, dat between my character and dat speech of mah lawyer dat you'd hang me shore!”— Success. EAT BEAR SPRING WATER, # purity bas made It famous.” CUESTEREIELD, during his last illness, was driving. A lady overtook him. ‘How glad I am,” said she, ‘‘to see you driving out.” “Mad- m,” said Lord Chesterfield, with a smile, “I am not driving out. I am simply rehearsing my funeral.” —Argonaut. A WEALTH OF BEAUTIFUL HAIR If you have it, retain it— If you haven't it, secure it—by regular daily use of ED. PINAUD'S HAIR TOXIC (Eau de Quinine) Send 10c. to pay postage and packing of a liberal sample. PARFUMERIE ED. PINAUD Dept. 87 Ed, Pinaud Building, New York is the most pleasant way of spending three weeks—combining health and recreation, Luxuriously appointed steamships giving hotel accommodations for the entire trip, All out- side staterooms. Stopping at places of interest for a day or two of sightseeing. Special tourist rate $140, including every expense. Booklets free. tq Shake Into Your Shoes Allen's Foot=Ease, a powder for the feet. It cures painful, swollen, smarting, nervous feet, and instantly takes the sting oatof corns and bunions. It’s the great: est rt discovery of the age. Foot+#Ease makes ti; Atting or new shoes feel easy. It is ingrowing callous and hot, tired, aching fe have over 80,000 testimonial TRY IT TO-DA by all Droggists and Shoe Stores, 25¢. not accept any eubstitute. Sent by mall for 26c. in stamps. FRE TRIAL PACKAGE sent by mail. Address ALLEN 8. OLMSTED, Le Roy, N.Y, FALLEN'S FOOT-EASE &S