Life — November 22, 1906 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A RHYME OF THE RUINS A fortnight ago, as our readers may remember, we printed some verses unvler this heading, with a few notes as to their first paymously; there: e. The verses had been sent i c. these particulars were in part inaccurate, which inaccuracies were corrected by the following note f f ’ Eprrom Argonaut : In the Argonaut issued September 20 you ins." by Mr. Lawrence W great many of his friends regret he was have published, “A Rhy Harris, and Tam not given edi ship. Mr. Harris is a director of “The Family,” and wrote the poem for the “Opening Row of that club when they took their new house last June.. As it fol lowed the lines of Kipling’s “On the Road to Mandalay,” it was done to sing to the music familiarly set for 1 sung for the first time that night by Mr. Jobn H. Noyes. T trust this is of interest to you and that you may see fit to re, and was sh the fact in the next issue of your splendid paper Very truly yours, Roy M. Pixt Herewith we also reproduce the version of the * Rhyme of the Ruins" sent to us by o A RILYME OF THE RUINS Put me somewhere west of East Stzeet, where there’s nothing left but dust, And the boys achustl everythi anonymous correspondent: Where the buildings standing there sort of b At the damaedest finest ruins ever gazed on anywhere J wall, through the night I've Sort of sorry for each other, ‘cause you had to burn From the Ferry to Van Ness you're a God: But the damnedest fin Bully ruins, beick ed you call aken mess ruins, nothing more and nothing less. And the Rubes they come a-rubbering and hunting souvenirs, And the fools they try to tell us it'll take a hundred years Before we're even started, and why "t we come to live And build our homes in Oakland, on the land they've got to give? Got to give! Why, oa my soul, I would rather bore a hole And live right in those ashes than to go to Oakland 9 And if 'd give the pick of their buildings fine and slick In those damnedest finest ruins, | would rather be a brick. Argonaut. SHREWD SCHEME Teaverer is Partox Car: Port man in front will give you a quarter for dusting him off, won't he? Porter: Yes “Well, I'll give you half a dollar to leave the dust on him and not brush it off onto me."—Somerville Journat. HAD HEARD OF THEM ‘The grocer assured her the exas were strictly fresh. “Well,” said Mrs. Lapsling. “you may send mea dozen. Ihave a pe horror of these repoussé exgs the papers are talking about.” Chicago Tribune vi. NylLv5- NG ) XS BEYOND THE PALE A friend of James Whitcomb Riley tells of an occasion when the humorist, who is, asa rule, extremely averse to social fune- tions, was induced to attend a “literary” dinner in Indianapolis. given in honor of a novelist of that city Riley had been told off to take in to dinner the sister of hi host, an excellent woman, though anything but “liter on the beauties of Chaucer, ing a fad.a Jered sister conversation touch whom a certain set of ited discussion ensued, during which th caught from time to time only the name. * Ch: At last she whispered to Riley : “Who is this Mr. Chaucer ey’re talking about so h? Is he very popular in society ?”* “ Madam,"" solemnly responded Riley, “that man did some- thing that focever shuts him out of soviety!"* “Heavens!” exclaimed the worthy dame, “and what was that?" He died several hundred years ago," said Riley Harper's Weekly A DASH FOR THE POLE STAR AN ART ORDER ‘ake orders fur pixtures here, don't ye?" inqui “We do,” replied the art dealer “Well, want ye to send a man up to measure my parlor walls for about $<.000 worth o” hand-painted pixtures in gold frames." Philadel phia Press. Wouan (expecting a call from her lover): Oh, this waiting is something terrible! I can’t stand it, (Te maid.) Sophie, goout- side and ring the bell three or four times, hard!—Translated for Tales from Meggendorjer Blactter. To-pay is short. Yesterday has passed To-morrow may not come, hence you have no time to waste. If you contemplate doing something, better be at it. Pittsburg News. RESOURCEFUL “ Let never wine-glass touch your lips," My pa has made this law, I cannot disobey him, so, Bartender, add a straw.—Princeton Tiger EDITORIAL PROCESS IN RUSSIA First Eprror: f tell you, we're getting oa fast. Why. 1 license for my paper in wo weeks Srcoxp Epitor (art old hand): Yes.things do happen fie nowadays. In three weeks thev'll confiscate your type, in t weeks they'll suppress your paper, in six, you'll be baakey in seven, you'll starve.—Rus ‘Tost: Well, darling, I have seen your father and he bas gi his consent . Grace: He approves of love in a cottage, thea? . bat he says that a girl who spends as much time g and motoring as you do really has not much need of a home. Tatler. A SEVERE DISCRIMINATION “That man is one of my (rieads." remarked the novice iz public life, “Which kind?" responded Senator Sorghum. * Friends, yo know, are divided into two great classes: those whom you see! and those who need you." Washington Star. MUST HAVE HIS JOKE Rapix, the painter (accosting a man tm the street, and tahieg of his hat most politely): 1 beg your pardon, are you no! sieur Robinet? Sreancer: No, sir, that is not my name. “I should have been astonished if it had been. I koow Men sieur Robinet well and be doesn't look at all like you."—Bos Vacant : Painctpat (to homecoming salesman)» How did you come t sell that fellow Smith, who és on the verge of bankruptcy, © many things and at such low prices? Travetinc Man: Well. I said to myself, “Now, if be gor bankrupt, then we sha’n't lose so much money.” —Iieeer Salonwitzdlau. THIS MONEYED AGE “While rummaging an old vest just now 1 found $1,000.09) that f didn’t know I had." “Lucky boy! I'll match you for it."—Putsburg Post. PAR AND PA A stock broker whose asked a few days ago how old his father was. “Well” said be, abstractedly, “he’s quoted at 80, but there is every prospect ths he will reach par and possibly be at a premium."—New Orleass Times: Democrat. d was always full of business 2+ LAME LAWYER A Scotch advocate, limping down High Street in Edieburg’s overheard a lady say to her companion, “That is Mr. C. the lame lawyer.” Turning round, be replied, a lame man, but not a lame lawyer.” Christian Register Lire. is published every Thursday, $5.00 a year in ge to foreign countries in the re ec apie relat ere Asal No contrisution will be returned unless accompanied by stumped and addressed end publication ats Live: is for sale by all Newsdealers in Great Britain. ‘The International News Company. Bream's Buibling, Chancery Lane, London, E. C.. England, Acests k numbers, after three months The illustrations in Lave are copyrighted, and are not to be reproduced Prompt notiseation should be sent by subscribers of any change of address — Wlson- MEN MAY COME AND MEN MAY GO BUT HUNTER WHISKEY GOES ON FOREVER For guarantee of purity, see back \abel oneverybaiile; Wats WN @ Fastest Trains in the World—THE NEW YORK CENTRAL LINES comicbooks.com WM. LANAHAN & SON, Baltimore, Md.