Life — November 22, 1906 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

pie-eating contests which came in. In no long time the long face had quite given way to the pie-face. . In those days people went to church every Sunday, religiously, but the rest of the week was given up to relaxation. Beans were designed to meet the demand for something which could be cooked on Saturday and eaten on Sunday. The * great difficulty was in keeping beans from tasting good and giving pleasure, and this difficulty, curiously enough, it was left for the cooking schools of our own time to meet and obviate. Six days the Puri- tans enjoyed rugged health, but on the seventh they were damned if they did. The Fable of the Two Fleas Tv fleas were once sitting on a dog who was wandering about the streets, when one of them said, ‘Brother, what a degraded, half-starved lot is ours! Here we have chosen to unite ourselves to a common street cur who wanders from alley to alley. We sce nothing but the most dismal sights. We hear no ele- vating conversation or delightful small talk. Surely there ought to be something better in store for us than this.” “You are right,” said the second flea. “Look, my brother, here is a carriage approaching. It is evidently some high- bom lady bent on a charitable enterprise. In her lap sits such a beautiful little terrier. Let us, therefore, make an effort to better ourselves.” “Splendid,” said the first flea. “We will live amid the most luxurious sur- roundings. We will feed on the fat of the land. We will sleep at night in a clean bed.” And so in a few bold but successful jumps, as the carriage stopped, they both landed simultaneously on the back of the terrier. In a short time they were driven to their new home. THE PURITANS WERE A BIT NARROW MINDED So delighted were they with their new life that the two fleas could scarcely con- tain themselves for joy. Their manifestations, however, were so unusual that the terrier frantically scratched himself, which attracted the 599 attention of his mistress, who immedi- ately sent for a physician, who at once gave the dog such a radical treatment that the two fleas were slowly drowned in a horrible fluid that came like a flood and surprised them before they were able to get away. “Alas! brother,” said the first flea, as he gave a dying gasp, “why could we not have been satisfied with our humble lot ?” Morat: Some folks never know when to let well enough alone. Extreme “4 E IS a radical of radicals.” H “Yes?” “He even advocates the public owner- ship of legislatures.” “Good heavens ! Would he leave no field whatever for private enterprise?” Philological ‘ONES met Smith. . “How are you, old man?” said Smith. “I haven’t seen you for some time.” “No, I’ve been out in my new auto- mobile.” “Indeed. I motor car,” “Oh, yes. Thought I'd follow your example. Automobiling is great fun, isn’t it?” “Splendid. Fine weather, too, for- motoring. By the way, what is your motor car?” “My auto is the Skiddoo.” “Ah, yes. Good car.” “Fine auto.” ‘ “Motor car!” “Automobile.” “rig 1” “Dub! Here they fight each other to the death All in Vain Busss: If you suffer from cold feet, why do you not use a hot water bag? Griccs: I did, and it froze solid in ten minutes. didn’t know you had a Ve Russian symphony series of con- certs began November 15. This orchestra, under the leadership of Mr. Modest Altschuler, did excellent work last winter,- giving New Yorkers an opportunity to become acquainted with the best Russian composers. These con- certs are a valuable addition, artistically and educationally, to the season’s music. comicbooks.com