Life — November 15, 1906 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Lese-Majesty AMES THE FIRST OF ENGLAND, and J Sixth of Scotland, was, as every one knows, deficient in vigor and steadiness. Having heard ofa famous preacher who was very witty in his sermons and peculiarly so in his choice of texts, be ordered this clergyman to preach before him. With all suitable gravity the learned divine gave out his text in the following words : ‘‘ James, first and sixth, in the latter part of the verse, ‘He that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed '”” “Qds-chickens! he’s at me already,” ex- claimed the king.—Serap Book. Ina pinch, use Allen's Foot-Ease: Travers and Jerome R. TRAVERS and the late Lawrence R. | * Jerome, known always as “Larry,” were inseparable friends, though forever victimizing each other with practical jokes. Once the two were traveling together on a train in the South. Just before the conductor was expected to come through the car, ‘Travers fell asleep. Jerome slyly removed from Travers's pocket tbe pass on which he was traveling, and, going forward several seats, sat down and simulated sumber. When the conductor shook him and | asked for his ticket, Jerome pretended to search through all his pockets. Then, knowing exactly what Travers would say under the circumstances, | and imitating his friend’s stuttering speech, he said: “Pm Wav-william R. T-t-travers, of New York. I had a p-p-pass; b-b-but I c-c-can’t find i, I'm a b-b-brother-in-law of Mr. Blank, the president of the road, and I assure you it’s all right.” The conductor accepted the explanation and passed on. A moment later he shook the sleeping Travers by the shoulder. ‘Travers felt for his pass and then, like his impostor friend, searched through all his pockets, the conductor regarding him with sudden suspicion. Finally he stuttered out: “I'm W-w-william R. T-t-travers, of New York. I had a p-p-pass; b-b-but I ¢-c-can’t find i. I'm a b-b-brothe: law of Mr. Blank, the president of the road, and I assure you it’s all night.” “T guess not,” replied the conductor. “You can't fool me, even with that stutter. You'll have 10 pay your fare or be put off.” Jerome permitted Travers to work himself into 2 rage of indignation, and then interposed with the Pass and a cigar for the conductor.—New York Tribune. HEVROLET, the automobilist, was talking of American railways. “They are superb,” he said. “Abroad we have nothing like them, But the expense! On my way down to Florida I said to the porter, as the time drew near for us to part: ter, you have been very attentive and I *ant to give you something, but I have no hen I took out a $20 bill from my wallet. inly, sir,’ the porter answered, pulling outa large roll of money. ‘How will you have it, ir? fi pny, Sir? In fives? — Argonaut. No two sets of tires receive the same treat- ment, carry the same weight, encounter the same road conditions or travel the same number of miles. It therefore happens that an inferior tire, used under ideal conditions, sometimes enjoys a brief local popularity. Kelly-Springfield Tires are sold throughout the length and breadth of the land. They experience every hardship, encounter all conditions of roads and are subjected to all sorts of abuse and neglect. Yet their history is one unbroken record of successes. That is why good builders always use them and knowing drivers always demand them. “Rubber Tired" ts a little book that all drivers will like. Sent free, Consolidated Rubber Tire Company 39 Pino Stroot. Now York /@ Now Introduced Here For the First Time EUX’S STOUT is ideal for an American beverage. It is lighter in body, less alco- holicthan any other of the first- class makes, and better suited to our climate—creamy, smooth, deliciously palatable. At luncheons, and after theater suppers it is especially agreeable and appreciated. Far more beneficial than any of the Malt Extracts in toning up the system, especially after a long and exhausting sickness. If you want the BEST Stout, in- sist on Meux’s, with above label U mot yet on sate at your dealers, pleate notify us and we will 10 that you are supplied LUYTIES BROTHERS, : NEW YORK Sole Importers and Agents for U. S. comicbooks.com