Life — November 15, 1906 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE MOTOR BOAT In the good old days of yore— Say, in Nineteen hundred-four ‘The seashore was a dandy place to rest i There was not too much exciteme And good sleep was what the night meant, And a daily nap or two the day was blest in! Oh, the chan, Motor boats are in the race, With their p:p-palpitating. p-p-perpetual Pa. pa - pe - pa - peterpiperpicktapeckopickled peppers: papa hat’s taken place! po-pa-pup-pup! Now before the dawn of day Spreads its crimson on the bay When the lulling waves in ‘Then from out the river-me P-p-puffing east of p-p-pu Dash the m Sleep they drive from lovely eyes; Men breathe oaths of lurid dyes And the noisome nuisance of their potent p-p-puffing— Pa - pa - pa - pa - peterpiperpickta peckopickled peppers: pa-pa- pa-pa-pup-pup! You are sitting on the shore With the fair one you adore; (On your lips the all- momentous question hovers, When, with sudden discord, round Lobster Point, with horrid sound, Comes the motor beat detestable to lovers. Ruinous to sentiment, On the coast sweet bays indent, Is the motor boat with nauseous smelling gasoline of lowest grade And its pa - pa - pa pa-pa-pop- pup! a - peterpiperpicktapeckopickled peppers- They have driven out the dories Which were picturesque in stories, And a vision for the enterprising painter. Now the oarless fisherman Fills an engine from a can, And p-p-puffs out to sea with noise that grows no fainter. How I hate the motor boat! Neptune, sink the ones afloat, Or invent a noiseless one without its pp provoking Pa - pa - pa - pm - peterpiperpicktapeckopickled peppers-pa-pa. pe-pacpup-pup! Harper's: Weekly. “Yes,” said Cassidy, "1 was born in 1864, an’ ‘twas a good thing for me I was.” “Why so?” asked Casey “Bekase, man, Feb'uary 29 is me birthday, so if 1864 hadn't been a leap year, shure I wouldn't have been born at all Philadephia Press. ACQUITTED An exchange says ex-Congresman Eddy, of Minnesota, was known as the homeliest man in Congress. He had in the opinion of his opponents," wabbled" on the silver issue in the campaign of 1896. A few years later he was to speak in a small town, and ‘on arriving he saw in an opposition newspaper a headline to the effect that “ Two-faced Eddy speaks here to-night." t evening, when he stepped before his audience, he said, in his low, sympathetic voice: You know, ladies and gentlemen, that I'm not the man referred to in this paper. It must be some one ele, for there is no one here who does not know that if I had two faces T would wear the other one." —Cincinnati Commercial Tribure. GREEK TRAGEDY THERE WAS AN OLD PERSON OF GREECE, WHO HAD AN ATTRACTIVE YOUNG NIECE. THIS MADE MER SO JFALOUS SUE SWALLOWED THE BELLOWS AND HER FRIENDS HAD A HAPPY RELEASE. Wiex Archbishop French was Dean of Westminster he delegated Canon Cureton to preach on certain saints’ days to boys of the Westminster School. The boys attended the service and then had the rest of the day as a holiday. While Mr. Cureton, on the morning of the day he was to officiate, was looking over his sermon at the breakfast table, his son asked in a tone vibrating with anxiety, “Father, is yours a long sermon to-day?” “No, Jimmy, not very.” “But how long? Please tell me.” “Well, about twenty minutes, I should say. Rut why are you so anxious to know?” “Mecause, father, the boys say they will thrash me awfully if you are more than half an hour."—New Vork Tribune. GIRLS | HAVE KNOWN ‘The liveliest girl I ever met Was charming Annie Mation; Exceeding sweet was Carry Mel; Helpful, Amelia Ration. Nicer than Jenny Rosity It would be hard to find; Lovely was Rhoda Dendron, too, One of the flower kind. I did not fancy Polly Gon, Too angular was sh And I could never take at all ‘To Annie Mosity. I rather liked Miss Sarah Nade, Her voice was (ull of charm; Hester Ieal too nervous was, She filled me with alarm. Lucy Date was clear of face, Her skin was like a shell; Miss Ella Gant was rather nice, ‘Though she was awful swell. A clinging giel was Jessie Mine, L asked ber me to marry In vain—now life is full of For I'm joined to Millie Tary. G. H.AW., in Boston Tronuript, THE FAITH OF THE BOY ‘The four-year old son of a certain Western Senator had a vey high opinion of the importance of his father. ‘The latter tels how, on one occasion in their Western bome, the lad came across a magazine in which, by some chance, there were engraved, side by side, portraits of the President and the Senator mentioned When the lad caught sight of his father's features he broke isto a broad smile. “That's a good picture of you, daddy,” ssid be “Very good, my son.” “Who's the man next to you, daddy?” asked the youngster “Why, my son!’ exclaimed the Senator, “don't you koos? ‘That is one of the greatest men of the world, a man mote ada able and more powerful than any king. That, my son, is Pres: dent Roosevelt.” ‘The lad again looked at the picture of the President. Teea, after a thoughtful pause, he observed ay, daddy, the people in the East will be awful they see the President's picture next to yours, won’ American Spectator. RE you not going for a boliday this year?” “I don't think so. I cannot think of a place th requirements.” “What are those?” “Well, T want a quiet Paris, 1,009 feet above the sea, oa te coast, with Baireuth plays and Carlsbad springs."— Lasyt Blactter. lis alles As var as gifts were concerned, most every day was C to the Pennsylvania Railroad officials. Baltimore Sun. Lire. is published every Thu from date of publication, 25 cents Lire is for sale by all Newsdeale Ruilding, Chancery Lane, London, E. C., England, Aces. lay. $5.00 a year in advance. Postal Union, $1.04 a year extra. Single current copies, ro cents. Back numbe Postage to forvign countries in the in Great Britain. ‘The International News Company, Bream's fter three months No contribution will be returned unless accompanied by stamped and addressed emdey The illustrations in Lure: are copyrighted, and are not to be reproduced. Prompt nctigcation should be sent by subscribers of any change of address Wilson - For guarartlee of purity, see back \nbe\ ow every baile; This FINE STORY DEALS, with INSIGHT and BRILLIANCY, Wats WAS MOYYAT. YARD & COMPANY NOW READY EVERYWHERE MOFFAT, YAO & COMPAST Illustrated by Bayard Jones The VON BLUMERS By TOM MASSON Managing Editor of LIFE and Author of «*A Corner in Women” with the ROMANCE and HUMOR of MARRIED LIFE 12mo, $1.50 net { postage 14¢.) MOFFAT, YARD & COMPANY, NEW YORK @& Between New York and Chicago in 23 1-2 Hours ¢ Via New York Central—Lake Shore Route.... LAKE SHORE LIMITED" comicbooks.com