Life — November 8, 1906 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Aa S905, A GENTLE JANE Gentle Jane whizzedl through the town, Runnin, Still she gave her car but praise, Said: “It has such killing ways. Carolyn Wells. any people down, Last week, Tuewlay, Gentle Jane Met a passing railroa “Good afternoon.” she sweetly said, But the blamed train cut her dead. —Vele Record. iden streets, Jane strikes every soul she mee! When she “honks” the spirits jum; Thinking it is Gabriel's trump. Cleveland Leader. down the Man, your wits are all at Heaven is not for such as she: Jane went down below a Hers for scorching. good —G. H.W. in Boston Transcript. DAFT, BUT CANNY Frederick Ireland, a stenographer of the House of Representa tives, at the convention ag Atlantic City of the National Associa tion of Stenographers, said, apropos “Tean't ap ve of this on, because Lam a foe to rashness. In handling the affairs of a great body of men U believe in pru- dence and carefulness. I am alm: prudent and careful as ne weak minded Scot of Peebles This Scot. a silly look on his face, was skating near the famous iron bridge of Peebtes on a winter day “Some young ladies wished to skate under the bridge, but they did not know whe the Scot. the youngest at “Sanders, would you mind just gliding under the bridge and he ice was safe of not. So, approaching back. st the ice?” “The half -witted Sanders took off his eap and with a bow and a smile he replied "'Na, nat Hf Tam daft Ikea manners. Leddies first." Philadel phia Bulletin Wues Mr. “Fingy” Conners, the leader of the Erie County “Democracy.” heard from one of his jenants that certain ates had fled his ranks, he remarked “Well, we're here. Trell wi Which phrase is apt to take its place as a classic among the { poems in the English language, says the New York WI_Ny BAe AN INDULGENT DEPOSITOR Pat Shaughnessy, hearing that the bank in which he kept his savings had failed, rushed around with his bank book and II his money. The paying teller straightway began ¢?" said Shaughnessy, with a sigh of s long as ye have it."— “coINc oN Tn steMP” © YE TEARS! ‘The president of one of the well-known colleges tells this story essors of chemistry fessor and his wife had not agreed upon ¢ expense involved. His wife had used all { persuasion without avail, and at last resorted to ine expedient—a flood of tears. At this the pro- hat, but paused to remark You might save yourself the trouble of that, my dear; your absolutely no effect upon me. Why should they, being nothing but common water with a very small percentage of phos phorous salts and a trace of chloride of sodium?"—Harper's tears ha EQUAL TO THE EMERCENCY “So you break our engagement, Gwendolen!” he exclaimed bitterly. “Then in your presence let me end the life which yoo have blighted."" Drawing forth a vial marked " poison," he put it to his tip and drained it to the last drop. As he saak back unconscions, did the beautiful girl fling herself upon his breast in an a goay of remorse and burst forth into frenzied sobs? Scarcely! Hastily quitting the room, she returned presently her sey face tragic, yet composed. Kneeling beside the young man sie forced betsscen his lips the following: (1) One cup of turp (2) one pint of milk: (3) a bowl of warm soapeuds: (4 bottle of aromatic ammonia; (5) a cup of black coffer, (6 glass of mustard water: lemon; (0) the beaten whites of six eggs; (10) one cup of fos and water. “ Algernon," she observed, coldly, as he began to revive. “iti evident you did not know that Iam a graduate of a correspund ence course in first aid to the injured. My one regret is tht since it was impossible for me to ascertain whether the pica y took was an acid of an alkali. | was compelled to ad the antidotes of which we had kearned.”"—Woman's Hore C panion, a gill of vinegar; (8) juice of 3 WHAT A DUCHESS COST FRANCE The energy of the now Dowager Duchess Fits-Jarmes cot France as much as the last war, and had the indirect cciect of making a sober nation one of dram drinkers. The Duchess. i her passion for self-aggrandizement. imported vines fron America to plant on her estate in Nugard. They phylloxera there. It spread all over France, and ruined far yea the vintage departments. Her American vines could feist this disease, French vines could not. The loss to the Giron: ame to 500.000.000 francs. M. Fallitres's whole family a connections were nearly ruined by phylloxera. She have foreseen the disaster her restless energy brought about But the story of what came of it ought to be a warning. There is nothing the French dread, and justly, more than wx ivmme remuant, except une Jemme remuante-—London Truth A FUTURE STYLIST This editorial from the weekly paper of Missouri Unive shows what higher education does for lucid writers: *°S during the year there arise certain occasions whose umstances are peculiar in that all of them force the oalooker to the same conclusion. That is, a person is not enabled to consider the various phases of such questions, and then announce it 36 his belief that the matter has two sides, and that as such is 1! he intends keeping the affair off his mind as much as p On the contrary, this type of situation can allow opinion, for the reason that every motive exists for ad course as right, and decrying the other as wrong City Star. “Do you think the time will come when there will be 9. in politics?” said one boss. “T don't know," answered the other. “It won't be our fault it doesn't. We have done the best we could to take out all thee was in it." —Washington Star Lire is published every Thursday, $5.00 a year in advanc from date of publication, 25 cents Lire is for Building. Chancery Lane, London, E. C., England, AceNts. ostage to fe Postal Union, $1.04 a year extra. Single current copies, 10 cents. Back numbers, after by all Newsdcalers in Great Britain. The International News Co Bream’s No contribution will be returned unless accompanied by stamped and addressed cesdom The illustrations in Lun are copyrighted, and are not to be reproduced Prompt notification should be sent by subscribers of amy change of address Wilson — Vor guarantee of purity, see back \obel onevery baile; Wat's WS WHEN HUNTER WHISKEY COMES TO JUDGMENT THERE'S A VERDICT IN ITS FAVOR EVERY TIME WM. LANAHAN & SON, Baltimore, Md. @ LOS ANGELES—«r bays trom New Yors_By New York Central Lines $6 | comicbooks.com