Life — November 1, 1906 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Between Friends HERE is an old story of a simple Highland ad walked to Glasgow to join her . On reaching a toll-bar on the skirt of the city she began to rap smartly with her knuckles on the gate. The toll-keeper came out to sce what she wanted. ‘Please, sir, is this Glasgow?” she inquired. ‘Yes, this is Glas- gow.” “Please,” said the girl, “is Peggy The author of ‘National Humor” gi other anecdote of Highland simplicit; A Highlander who lived not very far from Balmoral sent two beautiful collies as a present to Queen Victoria, who knew him well, having often driven past his house, and once or twice stopped to speak to him and his wife. The Queen not only accepted the collies, but told the donor that if he ever found his way to London when she was at Windsor, he was to call and sce her. As it happened, he had to go to London soon after. So he went and asked for John Brown, whom he knew, and who had heard what the Queen said to him. John Brown let the Queen know that her High- land friend of the collics was in waiting, and was told to bring him in. He took care to post him in the etiquette to be observed; told him not to speak until the Queen spoke to him, and to be sure always to say “madam.” The Highlander was then ushered into the presence of the Queen, who received him kindly sk But when she began to praise the collics, and say what favorites they had become, and how kind it was of him to send them to her, the delighted mountaineer forgot his instructions, and exclaimed, heartily, “Toots, wumman! What’s twa collics atween you and me!” —Youth’s Companion. Retort on the Reporter A. TAYLOR, former Assistant Secretary * of the Treasury, loves a joke, and can give and receive with equal facility. The latest exam- ple of his ability to turn the tables on a joker occurred just before his retirement, when a news- paper man called upon him to prefer a request for an interview for his home paper, a similar request having been preferred and granted by Mr. Taylor’s frequent courtesy. Mr. Taylor was just the least bit nettled that time, and, looking quizzically, inquired: ‘Now, young man, under what auspices do you make this petition this time?” “In the name of God and the Republican party,” replied the reporter, gayly, thinking to mollify the handsome Assistant Secretary. “Well, to my certain knowledge, you represent neither of the authorities you have quoted,” said Mr. Taylor, blandly, but at the same time seized @ pen and dashed off the interview required.— Washington Post, A Bright Boy's Composition “ HEN Mark Twain was a boy at school in Hannibal,” said a veteran Missourian, schoolmaster once set the class to writing a composition on ‘The Result of Laziness.’ “Young Clemens, at the end of half an hour, handed in as his composition a blank slate.”— Philadelphia Bulletin. The Best Caen Mad nhywhere-at any Price ’ e Purest Possible VTE WALTER H.LOWNEY CO. BOSTON-MASY MAKERS OF CHOCOLATE £ COCOF EN properly poised seldom have hobbies—but for myself I confess a weakness for— EVANS’ ALE Ae tnadiom bard. Delich’ fu forall occasions ic. C.D, Hove & nom, Sew Londen, (enn, comicbooks.com