Life — October 18, 1906 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“RE “Time, which all things else removes, Sull heightens virtue and improves”— Evans Ale Clubs, cafes, botels, restaurants and dealers CLARK'S NINTH ANNUAL CRUISE 0 Feb, 7,'07. 70 days, by chartered S. S. san 16,000 tons, Three Tours Roend the World. FRANK C. CLARK, 96 BROADWAY, NEW YORK The choice of all who know the best “THE BEST IN THE HOUSE” Garrick Club Rye Whiskey Alfred E. Norris & Co., Proprietors, Philadelphia Sprinkling “GWEETHEART, where is that soda siphon I put in the ice-box last night?” asked Younghub. “Oh, dear!” cried the June bride. “Did you want that? I used it up this morning sprinkling the plants.” —Detroit Free Press. A TRAVELER in the Highlands observed, while at a tavern in a small village, a very beautiful collie. At his request the owner was pointed out to him, and he asked the man what he would take for the dog. “Ye'll be taking him to America?” the Scot asked, cautiously. “Certainly, if you will sell him to me.” “I no coul’ part wie Rob,” the dog’s owner then said, emphatically. “I’m muckle fondlike o’ him,” and liberal offers were nu inducements. To his astonishment the traveler later saw the dog sold to a drover for half what he had offered, and, after the drover had disappeared, requested an explanation. ‘You said that you could not sell him,” he remarked. A twinkle came into the Highlander’s eyes. “No; I didna say I’d no sell him—I said I couldna part wie him,” he said. “Rob'll be hame in two or three days fra no, but I couldna ask him to swim across the ocean. Na, that woul’ be too muckle to ask!” —Rochester Herald. Now for Simplified Talk NERVOUS PORTER (in single breath to stolid janitor): S'pose yer don’t ’appen ter know nobody wot ain’t stoppin’ ‘ere wot ain’t sent for no one not to move no luggage nor nothink, do yer? Janitor: Nope.—London Sketch. Method in It “Bet why in the world did you want to elope, anyway?” “Well, I was in hopes that her family would never forgive us.” —Chicago Record-Herald. Is a pinch, use Allen's Foot-Ease. Professional cooks use Lea & Perrins’ Sauce THE ORIGINAL WORCESTERSHIRE because no other season- ing has the same fine, John Duncan's Sons, rich flavor. Agts., N. Yo nderberg poonekamp Bitters Drink to the health of your friends in Underberg Boonekamp Bitters and improve your own. Taken before meals it gives a relish to food and aids digestion—always the same since 1846. Call for a “pony” at any first-class bar. Enjoyable 2s a cocktail and better for you. Rome 6,000,000 bottles imported to the U. S. At all Hotets, Clubs and Restanrants, or by the bottee at Wine Merchants and Grocers. H, Underberg Albrecht, Rhelnderg, Germany LUYTIES BROTHERS, Gen'l Agents 204 William Street, = NEW YORK comicbooks.com