Life, 1906-10-11 · page 18 of 24
Life — October 11, 1906 — page 18: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from Life magazine contains several satirical pieces targeting American social and political issues of the era: **"Bells Poe Never Heard"** is a humorous poem mocking the proliferation of telephone bells—a modern annoyance that disrupts daily life. **"Circumstances Alter, Etc."** presents an anecdote about Timothy Woodruff intervening in a street fight, satirizing class dynamics and social propriety through the larger man's justified indignation at being struck while down. **"A West-End Sensation"** appears to mock theatrical pretension and elaborate entertainments. **"Items of Needed Legislation"** is a satirical list proposing absurd laws addressing modern social irritations: baby-talk, theater etiquette, sermon repetition, and servant problems—reflecting middle-class anxieties about linguistic standards and social conduct. **"Divorce Law Suggestion"** satirizes both clerical moralizing about divorce and proposes an ancient Greek law preventing remarriage as deterrent, mocking both religious hypocrisy and legislative thinking. The advertisements for Wilson whiskey and New York Central trains frame the page's commercial context.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
yh ANT Se1ssers OCS La! BELLS POE NEVER HEARD Hear the teley Nickel-plated be What a nerve: agitation in their petulancy dwell they excite, And everybody By the bawlin And the calling How the conversat other where; ting telephonic bells xe bells t (Ireland his constituents int {an Oklahoma paper writes thi re collars and put to get shaved, and cut out, so we can w You know who ma ‘one of the old Ohi ney, CIRCUMSTANCES ALTER, ETC. othy Woodruff was once enjoying a walk in the vicinity of he came upon two men rolling about in the road fight. ‘The man on top was pummeling the nercifully. Me. We vened, with the an armistice was declared between the two. D indignantly man who had been oa top—an a much larger man than his it’s an infernal shame to keep k me in the face," n't see how you ¢ d Woodruff to Jual who was, by the w onent. “Don’t you know th man when he’s down? tenance of the rebuked one. if ye knew all the trouble I had to 1" —Lippincott's. ois WELL.PA, AT LAST YOU CAN SAY YOU'VE SEEN THE OCEAN. OL CAN, BUT IT'S A DISAPFOINTMENT—"TIS NO WHERE NEAR AS BIG AST A WEST. n afternoon par mething ot reader and the fraudulent palm a troupe of perf ITEMS OF NEEDED LEGISLATION For instance, there ought to be a law prob of mint in the compilation of a julep. There ought be a law forbidding the use of known as “baby” talk, of "*goo-goo” talk, ground that it retards the progress of young Americans in the mastery of real English. Tt ought to be declared a felony for a: tell his com) A law should declare it perfectly proper for a ¢ say something besides * Fudge !” when he hits at a g plows up a ton of earth Tt should be illegal than fifty times in the than “thiniethly* Tt should be against discuss the servant pr one at the theater to jon “what's coming ne a preacher to reiterate h ¢ of one sermon, enumeration of px law for any group of more than one bh without a change of subject, unless they permission of the President of the United Courier-Journal. Tu, most religious State—\ ‘The cleanly S' —Was! ‘The most eg ical State—Me. ‘The sickliest ti ‘The most maidenly State—Miss.. ‘The me 1 State—Mad. ‘The most paternal State—Pa. ‘The mining State—Ore. Exactly, brother, and we may 3 The bunco State—Conn. The deep in debt State—O. The coy State— ‘The personal St ed-sharp State—Me And the oldest State—Ark. —Bost DIVORCE LAW SUGGESTION A clergyman was railing against divorce. “We « the divorce law that was “If that old Greek clause was tacked to every separ persuaded that divorces would fal to 70 p “This law was that, w an got a divorce under any circumstances his ex-wife. "An innocent law, a brief law—not much to look at bat red in ancient Gr another woman ywunger this many divorce suits would be nipped in the bud if all hu knew that after the separation they could not marry 9 women than the wives they had cast off Bulletin ing fleas for the gntertainment of her guests. The party was a success. When it bi the voice o What ae At that moment a we ever knew up a loud wail rent the ait. It FOUNDATION ALMOST COMPLETED Mr. Henry James ning sentence is already complete! reet with a litthe we at work on a new novel ty portion of th Tribune verbearing,” said th ™ Ach, madam. ts, Biddkeford’s Russian scheme was an trust magnate. “ Never t trust mag. ger. greatly relieved, lightly picking up som nukler—" von of my * did he x ance company "To organize an le Courier-Journal land Plain Dealer No contribution will be returned unless accompanied by stamped and The illustrations in Larn. are copyrighted, and are not to be repro at Britain. The tn nak gains i, England, Acrsts Prompt nctifcation should be sent by subscribers of any change of address. THE PURITY OF Hunter Rye IS ALL THAT MAN, MONEY AND REFINEMENT OF AGE CAN MAKE IT—THE HIGH- EST STANDARD OF EXCEL- LENCE—THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S WHISKEY Vor guarawtee of purity, see back \obel onevery baile; Was WY | severest, @® Four 24-Hour Trains to Chicago Every Day—New York Central Lines comicbooks.com Sold at all first-class cafes and by jobbers. WM. LANAHAN & SON, Baltimore, Md.