Life, 1906-09-06 · page 35 of 40
Life — September 6, 1906 — page 35: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertisements** with two brief humorous anecdotes. The **Underberg ad** promotes German digestive bitters as appetite stimulant; the **Moore Push-Pins ad** sells glass-headed pins for hanging items without damaging walls. The **two jokes** are: 1. **"Railroad Man's Prayer"**: A railroad worker's prayer that uses railroad terminology metaphorically—flagging, switches, safety lamps, terminals—to describe Christian salvation. The humor lies in the extended metaphor equating train operation with spiritual journey, ending with God as railroad superintendent approving his work. 2. **"An Errand of Mercy"**: Two ministers compete in virtue—one vows to discard 100 gifted cigars to avoid smoking's evils; the other claims he'll "rescue" the ninety-nine remaining cigars. The satire mocks self-righteous posturing: the second minister's claim to moral superiority is undercut by his transparent excuse to smoke most of the cigars himself. Both anecdotes target hypocrisy and sanctimoniousness common to the era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Best, Bitter Liqueur. Physical exercise does not create more genuine appetite than Underberg Boonekamp Bitters taken before meals. Healthy digestion follows and life becomes worth the living. A delicious drink always, morning, noon or night. Enjoyable as a cocktail and better for you. 6,000,0c0 bottles imported to the United States. At all Hotels, Clubs and Restaurants, or by the bettle at Wine Merchants and Grocers. BOTTLED ONLY BY HH, Underberg Albrecht, Rbelaberg, Germany, since 1846, LUYTIES BROTHERS, New York. General Agents, For fastening up CALEN- DARS, clippings, the attrac- tive pictures in’ this, mage- zine, posters, small pictures, raperies, and innumerable other things without disfiguring wood or plaster walls like tacks, Allowed in hotels and schools where tacks are prohibited, NO HAMMER NEEDED Easily inserted with the fin- gers; can be withdrawn and used over again. Made with fine tempered STEEL points and polished, transparent GLASS ‘handles _bermonizing with any color decorations. Strong and ornamental. Sold at Stationery, House-Furnish- tog, Notion and Photo-Supply Stores or mailed prepaid for 10c. per packet of one-half dozen, of 20c. per box of 1 dozen. No. 1 and No. 2 like cuts, MOORE PUSH-PIN CO. 198 S. 1th STREET, PHILADELPHIA, PA. lead off the main line into the sidings with blind Railroad Man's Prayer TH following is the text of a ‘railroad man’s prayer,” pasted on the fireman's side of the sritch engine in the Northern Pacific yards in Spokane: “Now that I have flagged Thee, lift up my feet fom the rough road of life and plant them safely ‘athe deck of the train of salvation. Let me use ‘Se safety lamp of prudence, make all the coup- bg with the link of love, and let my handlamp te the Bible, and keep all switches closed that ends. Have every semaphore block along the line show the white light of hope, that I may make the run of life without stopping. Give me the Ten Commandments as a working card, and when I have finished the run on schedule time and pulled into the terminal, may Thou, superin- tendent of the universe, say: ‘Well done, good and faithful servant; come into the general office to sign the payroll and receive your check for eternal happiness.’ —Milwaukee Sentinel. An Enand of Mercy DPEPLY impressed recently by an address given at Brighton on the evils of smoking, a young minister rose and said that that morning he had had a present of 100 cigars, one of them he had smoked, but he now determined to go home and throw the rest into the fire. Thereupon a Baptist minister arose and said that he meant to accompany his reverend brother. “My intention,” he added, “‘is to rescue the ninety and nine.”—London Tribune. fifty per cent—that leaves just half the price you pay to represent wine value. And because this duty, not the quality, makes the difference Great Western Extra Dry Champagne at half the price of imported, is a// value. The age—nearly one hundred years—of the Great iB Western Vineyards in New York State has given to the soil the same elements which have imparted to foreign Champagnes their peculiar qualities. Great Western is made under Old-World methods. It is absolutely pure and aged for five years. Ideal in every respect—effervescence, delicacy of flavor and bouquet. Great Western received a Gold Medal at Paris, an acknowledgment of high quality accorded no other American vintage. We invite comparison. Try Great Western. PLEASANT VALLEY WINE CO., Sole Makers, RHEIMS, N.Y. Sold everywhere by dealers in fine wines. At Hotels, Restaurants and Cafes. COLLARS are easily troned because there is no cling nor smoothing oat of welts. The surface and Inner plies are eat in laundry and insares long life to the ‘collar. The only true QUARTER SIZES Over 100 styles: 16 cents each; 2 for 23 cents, Send for booklet ‘and dealer's name. CLueTT, Peasooy & Co., Largest Maters of Cattars soa Bhirste the World 457 River 8t., Troy, M. Ys comicbooks.com