Life — September 6, 1906 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A Fragment of Ovid MNES agunt, sed pater Toto die sedet; Pedes ante ignem, Tubam terre fumet! Mater lavandas prendet, Ann soror atque— In nostro omnes agunt, Sed senex--ne! O, Condamnati! Some Honks WHO maims and speeds away will live to drive another day. Faint-hearted driver never won fair lady. “Oh, that this too, too solid flesh would melt, thaw and resolve itself into a dew”’—so as not to make a. jar when the machine stril it. Don’t cry over spilt milk —be thankful it wasn’t the gasoline. But trailing clouds of gory do we come. Where ignorance is bliss, ’tis folly to let them know you got it in a raffle. ‘ Man wants but little here below. (This makes + no reference to the police . judge.) b A very ancient and fish- ° like smell. : A bribe in time saves a , fine. There is so much bad in the best of them; There is so much good in the worst of them, That it does not behoove us owners ~ of any of them To talk about the machines of the rest of them. , Gasoline. Traveling with a Baby I THE life of every man who owns or has a minority interest in a baby the time may come when it is necessary to travel with him. In this awful emer- gency, what is to be done? What steps should be taken to make matters as easy as possible? Some men prefer to travel with a baby under cover of the darkness, where they can avoid their friends and if smiled at, it will be only by total strangers. As long as it is probable that one will be up all night anyway, perhaps this is best. Secure beforehand the services of an «LIP E able trainzd nurse, and then arrange for a continuous line of porters from your house to the Pullman car section. In addition to the baby, your wife and the nurse, take along a hand dairy, a Pasteurizing outfit, a box of assorted rattles, two or three million safety pins, a linen store, a portable drug store and a bottle of whisky. Put the baby in the center of a set of graded army blankets, roll him up ina shawl strap and proceed. Every time the baby cries unroll: him and feed. ‘Take a drink occasionally yourself. Always be sociable with a baby if possible. an Make arrangements with the railroad company beforehand. It is awkward to arrive on the train five minutes before it leaves and have to sit on the arm of a seat for fifty miles trying to amuse the baby with the faces of the passengers. Having secured your section in the Pullman, get there before any onc else, put your wife and baby in the lower berth, the trained nurse in the upper, tip the porter and pretend not to know them for the rest of the journey. You will then be on friendly terms with the rest of the passengers. If Providence insists upon your traveling with a baby in the daytime, 251 do not when you run up against your old friends on the ferry boat, as you carry your precious charge on your shoulder, look too foolish. Keep up your nerve, and pass it off lightly. Remember that babies will happen even in the best regulated families and that to travel with them occasionally is the task of every father. Who Cares? HE WISE ONE: So Restwell has gone. He was a good chap; do you know what he left? Tur Ipior: He left a world that needed him. He left a good name. He left behind him so many good deeds that if half of them were recorded, his enemies, if he has any, may have no fear of mecting him in another world. He left in- numerable bonds of friendship —interest bearing bonds pay- able in golden memories. He left — “Thunder! I meant how much money did he leave.” “Oh, I don’t know?” Fuller W. Rice. A Letter EWTON HIGHLANDS, MASS. Lire Puntisuixc Company: Dear Life—Let me thank you for D Lire, of July 26. From coverto cover it had nothing to try one’s good nature: 7 no wanton communications; no issue- Z solving; no desperately non-sectarian edi- > torials. It was good. 1 handed it to my friends with genuine pleasure. MH. Douglass. August 4, 1906. >) Our thanks, Mr. Douglass, but we cannot promise to be so good all the time. We must have some fun our- selves. New Styles in Thought OLITICAL opinions this year are more gaily colored than ever, Neat effects are seen, how: ever, in old gold, although the greens still continue to hold their own. ‘There are several new effects in socialism circles, Sinclair blouxs being worn ex- tensively and red flannel is again coming in. We have noticed nothing especially new ia theclogy. although several herctics have attempted innovations without success. Straight frontsare still worn, and the hatsare trimmed, as uscal, with sprigs of immortelle. In literary groups there are some pretty designs made over from last ycar’s patterns, trimmed with cpigrams. A ‘Thoughts, on the whole, remain about the same. ISHONESTY is no respecter of persons. comicbooks.com