Life, 1906-08-30 · page 16 of 20
Life — August 30, 1906 — page 16: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple satirical pieces typical of Life magazine's format: **Main Visual Cartoon**: The "Mars conjunction" illustration depicts Earth and Moon as celestial bodies, sarcastically "proving" the Moon was once part of Earth—a humorous jab at pseudo-scientific claims popular in the era. **"A Wedding Invitation"**: A social satire where Mr. Black declines Mrs. White's wedding invitation, candidly explaining he cannot afford the expected gift and barely knows the family. The satire targets the pretension and financial burden of formal society weddings. **"Thompson Welcomes Gallinger"**: A sketch featuring Denman Thompson (likely the 19th-century playwright/actor) meeting Senator Gallinger. When the Senator praises Thompson's theater production "The Old Homestead," Thompson curtly replies "Yas, it's cheaper"—mocking upper-class social pleasantries with rural bluntness. **"Rude Haste"**: Begins a humorous honeymoon anecdote (text cuts off). The page primarily satirizes social pretension, false cordiality, and class conventions.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
CAT Sel I5$°R),F AML MT OR) toil for triumphs of an hour? Young. t summer, man is but a flower Dr. Johnson By turns we catch’ the fatal breath and dic, h he cradle and the tomb, alas To be is better far than not to be, Though all man’s life may seem a tragedy; Spenser. hty griefs are dumb, —Daniel bottom is but shallow whence they come But light cares speak when Unmingle Nature to cach allots his proper spher Congreve Fortune makes folly her peculiar cate; —Churchill Custom doth often reason overrule Rochester. And turns a cruel sunshine on a fool, —Armstrong Live well, how long or short permits to Heaven, —Milton, I be most forgiven. Bailey They who forgive most Soar not too high to fall, but stoop to rise Massinger: We masters grow of all that we despise Crowley: Oh, then, r that unpious self-cstee Riches have and grandeur is a dreai Think not ambition wise because ‘tis brave, Davenant. Gray all the gaudy glitter of a crown? —Dryden Ace nt Copies, 10 cent in Great Britain. ‘The Inter C.. Ragland. Acusts “We only whusker, that places a complete, quexarkeed analysis on each wevery, beitle- See back label! [Wiley Be ss The way to bliss lies not on path of down —Quarles. How long we live not years but actions te Watkins. The man lives twice who lives the first life well Herrick ‘The trust that's given, guard and to yourself be just, —Dana ct die we must. Shakespeare. —Rochester Union and Advertiser. For live naw how we mi A STAR-TLING CONJUNCTION AS SEEN PROM MARS, PROVING BEYOND A DOUBT THAT THE MOON WAS ONCE A PART OF THE BARTH HARD TO TELL nof-reader wrinkled his weary brow as he ead 4 for the twenticth consecutive time with bess *he groaned as he tied his tenth wet {if this is just ‘pit they are afraid to that essay by Henry James that was sent up ve American A WEDDING INVITATION Mr. Black regrets that he Must impart the information That be can’t accept with Mrs. White's kind invitation. Candidly he must avow, Risking being thought unpleasant, That his means do not allow Of the purchase of a present Mr. Black, too, would remind Mrs. White, without evasion, ‘That they've met, through Fate unkind, Only upon one occasion. As for the Hee no doubt delightful daughter, I her ever ey Something he perhaps had brought ber. pective bride Mr. Black must, therefore, state, Taking all things in conjunction, That he can’t participate In this fashionable function He is neither millionaire a dog inclined to mangers; who cannot spare Charities for perfect strangers London Tribune. He's just THOMPSON WELCOMES GALLINGER During the summer Senator and Mrs. Gallinger visited Keene, N. 11, and learning that Denman Thomptoa was at home in Swanzey, and being a great admirer of Me. Thompson and hi <sed a wish to meet him off the stage and An old friend of Mr. Thompson offered to erefore, one fine morning they drove down to Mr. Thompron’s house., He came out, without coat or hat, hands behind his back, as usual. ‘The following conversation ensued Denman: “How'd d ! Bill: “How are you, Den? M duce Senator and Mrs. Gallinger Senator Gallinger: “Me. Thompson, T have witnessed your great production, “The Old Homestead.’ many times, and always with the greatest pleasure, but I want to say itis with stil greater pleasure that Lam permitted to greet you in your own. beautiful home in ok! Swanzey.” Denman: “Yas, it's cheaper.” drive down. hompaon, I want to into RUDE HASTE ‘They were on their honeymoon. He had bought a catboat and had taken ber out to show her how well he could handle a boat putting her to tend the sbeet. A puff of wind came, and h the sheet." No response Still no movement. A tes after, when hoth were clinging tc tom of the overturned boat, he said: “Why ¢ “1 would have.” about it. You Vork Evening Post shouted in po uncertain tones, " "t you ket in the rave cf three months Ne The illustrations in Lure ore copyrighted. pany, Bream’s Thets Alt RYE BALTIMORE NTER THE WHISKEY OF REFINED TASTE ution will be returned wutess accompanied by stamped and addressed env ond are not to be reproduced. Prompt notification should be sent by subscribers of any change of address TRape MAR class cafes and try jolhers WALALANATIAN SON, Battiwore. 0 @ “LAKE SHORE LIMITED”: ay? Leaves New York 5:30 every afternoon via NEW YORK CENTRAL. Arrive Chicago 4:00 next afternoon via LAKE SHORE.