Life — August 23, 1906 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

= PlekaBe SOUR fOOLiSHs ONTEMPORAR' HAPPY THOUGHT rust you will object to my >?" queried the astonished parent. * Because,” explained the young man, “if you do, 1 think she will consent to have me."—Chicago News HORRIBLE. Bitxtws: So you didn’ t go to the fancy dress ball? that Vd wasted a whol evening spooning with my wife." London | Tit Bits. Hotel Vendome, Boston The ideal hotel of America for permanent and transient guests. NATURALLY Two Irishmen, much disturbed for the ¢ of this country were recently discussing {them observed im furriners is gettin’ an awful hold in the Ut scented the second Celt. “Why, Twas readin? cover the list of he the Cir rt yesterday, an’ ivery wan of thim was furrin."—Harper's Weekly AN orricee of a certain regiment was one morning inspecting | his company on parade when be came to an Irishman who had he said: ‘Doyle, how is it you have not “Oi have, sor,” was the reply. “How said the officer, “ with a beard on you like th: said Pad 's loike this. There's only one ‘our room, and there was nine of us shaving at th and maybe Oi shaved some other chap's face."”—Pearsou's Weekly. Hraurnt ano Rest; New Waverty Horrt axp Bari Hovst, Hor Sprincs, Arkansas. Ittustrateo Booxter. A SLIGHT OMISSION Cartan (to soldier in ballooning division): Now, then, Grvenzug, in with you—sharp! Sotpier (advances hesitatingly toward the car ef the balloon and then stops): Please, sit, in my oath of allegiance I swore to be true and faithful on land and water—but there was nothing said about air. —Muskcte. Sue: T haven't seen you for an age, Herr Doctor, notwith- | standing that we live only a few streets apart here in Kerlin, | learned with so much regret that you've been ill this spring Hea Doctor: Who told you that “ My brother wrote me from India."—Fliegende Blactter. “Otp Sates Puncn. Delicious—Try it. S. S. Pierce Co. Boston, Mass.” TWO OF A KIND | NewtyweD (proudly): T always make it a point to tell my | wife everything that happens. | Otp Sroet: Pooh! That's nothing. I tell my wife lots o” things that never happen at all—London Tattle. Latin Instacctor (to student translating): Don't you think it is pretty near time that you turned the page? You've rn dered the first five lines on the next page already.—The Punch | Bout. | ‘Tue Sowtn rox Hosrrtatity: The M. Asheville, North, Carolina, is the best inn South — Bootle NOT HARD TO ANSWER Jefferson Thompson, chairman of the racing hoard of the Automobile Association, was praising the French as automo: | lists. “The French are a remarkable anu odd people,"*he said. “In fencing and, abov they excel. In football. in in shooting they are nowhere: men were once out after robins and cuckoos. A robin appeared overhead; they fired simultancously, but the robin escaped. “Then they asked all to, The host's highest compliment to his guests “THE BEST IN THE HOUSE” Garrick Club Rye Whiskey Aljred E. Norris & Co., Proprictors, Philadel phia O R I |= N CLARK’S NINTH ANNUAL CRUISE Feb. 7.07. 70 days, by chartered SS. “Arabic,” 16000 tons. ‘Three Tours Round the World. FRANK C. CLARK, 96 BROADWAY, NEW YORK A HE apothegm, Platonism and epigram have been done to death in recent Woman’s smart literature. Incited Confessional thereto by the popular success of several publications of short and more or less witty paragraphs, some writers seem to have gone epigram-mad. Although expressed in epigram form, the truths in Madame Helena Woljeska’s “A Woman's Confessional” are not intended to be “smart.” They are drawn from real life, from actual experience, bitter at times, joyous at others, but all ex- pressing some phase of a life that has been lived. Some of them may express erroneous views, but they throb with vivid actuality. The dainty little book may be had of all dealers or will be sent to any address, on receipt of seventy-five cents, by Lire PuBLisHinG Company, 17 West Thirty-first Street, New York City.