Life, 1906-08-16 · page 5 of 24
Life — August 16, 1906 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from Life magazine presents two satirical vignettes by Oliver Herford mocking tedious social types. **"U"** ridicules Scottish ethnic stereotyping, showing an "unco guid Man" who bombards listeners with incomprehensible Scottish dialect phrases ("Braw Bonnie Brae," "Dinna ken," etc.). The satire targets people who affect exaggerated regional speech to appear colorful or authentic. **"V"** lampoons the pretentious "vain Virtuoso"—a conceited person who attributes his hair growth to "genius divine" before admitting he simply doesn't know the cause. The joke skewers affected intellectuals who cloak ignorance in pseudo-philosophical nonsense. Both entries ridicule social bores through exaggerated character types common to early 20th-century society.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
LIFE AN ALPHABET OF BORES U IS the unco guid Man And all his unspeakable clan, With their “Braw Bonnie Brae,” ” “Bide awee,” “Scots wha’ hae “Aweel,” “Dinna ken,” and “Hoot, mon!” By Otiver HERFORD IS a vain Virtuoso. If you ask, “Pray, what makes your hair grow so? Do you think it’s a sign Of Genius divine?” He replies, “I don’t think so, I know so.” A Brace of Peace-Lords ONDON thinks that Bill Bryan is a fine speaker. So he is. He has the gift, and he seems to be rapidly acquir- ing the necessary knowledge to make his gift useful. His address at the Interparliamen- tary Union in London on July 24 and his discourse the next day at luncheon at the House of Lords were heartily praised, and the first was even said to be the best speech that London has heard in years. Both discourses had to do with the promotion of peace among the na- tions of the world. With Mr. Bryan acquiring so great a reputation as a peace advocate and President Roosevelt in full possession of credentials as the most efficient practical peacemaker of his time, the reputation of the United States as a pacificatory power must be daily increasing. A Crime That Beggars Punishment UCH odd things happen! James Morris,of Ithaca, who horsewhipped his seven-year-old granddaughter, sus- pended her by the arms for twenty min- utes and locked her up in a dark closet, where the neighbors found her, was sen- tenced on July 25 to pay a fine of fifty dollars and spend six months in the Monroe penitentiary. Doubtless that was the best the Court could do, but it wasn’t adequate treat- ment. James having committed a pic- turesque crime ought to have a pictur- esque punishment. Due lashes on the bare back and exposure in the stocks would fit his case. But, after all, it is hopeless to try to punish a miserable man who has abused a child. The child can be saved from him. His real punishment will be that he will have to tolerate his own existence.