Life, 1906-07-19 · page 9 of 28
Life — July 19, 1906 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page presents satirical character sketches from Oliver Herford defining social types considered tedious. **Letter O: "The Optimist"** - A cheerful person who denies life's difficulties, claiming that even Hades "isn't so bad." The satire targets excessive positivity as a form of willful ignorance. **Letter P: "The Poetical Bore"** - A person who recites their own poetry at length to unwilling audiences (ladies moved to tears, men fleeing). This mocks aspiring poets who inflict amateur verse on captive social audiences. The accompanying prose pieces below ridicule other social annoyances: James J. Hill's self-promoting railroad announcements, someone named Edward the Sixth, and professional jokers. The satire targets people whose behavior or conversation makes them insufferable company—universal social complaints.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
‘LIFE*s AN ALPHABET OF BORES By Otiver HERFORD 73 O IS an Optimist glad Who doesn’t know how to be sad; If he wakes-up some day In Hades, he'll say, “Well, really it isn’t so bad!” Imperial HE announcement that Mr. James J. Hill, whom. they k of in the West, with char- ic restraint, as a builder of is about tolay down a third and pay for it out of the profits of the two he already owns, has not attracted the attention it merits, not only in virtue of its intrinsic importance, but by its implication: well. Hitherto, cinating business of building em- pires has been thought of so technical and esoteric a nature as practically to forbid ordinary people engaging in it, but hereupon it would appear to be, relatively speaking, a simple thing. On the sur- face, at least, thére seems to be no reason why any man, who is reasonably well *S a Poetical Bore Who recites his own Lines by the score; The Ladies, poor dears, Are all moved to Tears, convinced of his mission, and who, by hook or by crook, can secure to himself a monopoly of the transportation facili- ties of a rich and enterprising country, should not build an empire almost any time he feels like it. The suggestion that the Interstate Commerce Commission ought to be butting in and spoiling the game is natu- rally being received with gales of derisive merriment in the West, whatever the radical, socialistic East may think about it. They know the value of empires, in the W Class in English History EACHER: Yes, Mary succeeded Zdward the Sixth; now, Tillie Jones, can you tell me who came after Mary? Titiie Jones: Her little lamb! And strong Men are moved—to the Door. Boston Exclusiveness RS, NEWRICH, of New York: Did you bathe during your recent visit to Atlantic City? . Mrs. Emerson Sattonstart, of Boston: No. I had intended to do so, but another lady was using the ocean! ECAUSE. woman has a smaller brain mass than man it docs not by any means follow that she has an inferior or smaller intellect. I smile the quiet Socratic smile when I hear men n have not equa! which no man can seriously maintain. —Dr. Emil Reich in a London keture. We'll bet a red apple the Doctor's wife was beside him on the platform the professional joker, when E cighed on the scale of public opin- ion, may be surprised at his gravity. clare that it is a position comicbooks.com