Life — July 5, 1906 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

830 raised his hands to heaven and then put them on the red hood He hada be himself. While Nora endeav- ored to explain to the Kadoot that her late hus- band had come on to run the car, Patrick had run down the trouble. In a jifly he had cleaned the spark plygs and they were off. “Nora, dear,” he muttered, as they sped along in the direction of the palace—by the gesture of the Kadoot—* why did you do it?” “Don’t you talk to me,” said Nora. ‘I'll fix you. Things are different now, You'll wish you had your head off before I get through with you.” The Kadoot frowned ominously and the conversation ceased. Arrived at the palace, the Lord of the Sun, Moon and Stars sent for the wise man to interpret “Ask the barbarian who he is and what he is.” “He says, O Effulgence, he was sent by the makers of the machine that flies to nun it for you.” “Very well. Show him where the fluid is that makes it go, give him a place to sleep, and tell him that if I have any more trouble with the cursed thing, off goes his head.” “Tt is done, Sire.” The new queen put her pretty hand pleadingly on her monarch’s arm, while she looked at the wise man. “Ask the Lord of Heaven and Earth and Ruler of the Univer he said, “if as a special favor I may administer to the new visitor a few things that will do him good.” The interpreter repeated the message. The Kadoot smiled indulgently and nodded his head, “You miserable wretch,” said the queen to her late husband, “what do you mean by daring to follow me? T’ll give you a taste of your own medicine. I'll have you thrashed twice a day just for luck, and I'll make you sit up night after night without sleep with nothing on and the tempera- ture down to zero. I'll think up things to do to you.” Patrick prostrated himself. “Nora, darling, forgive me. I know I was cruel to you. I didn’t mean it. It was only when you left me that I knew how I loved you. Haven’t I followed ye to the ends of the world and braved death for your sake?” “Well, you're not safe now. If you can’t keep that machine running, zip, off goes your red head ‘The Kadoot’s got the habit.” “Never fear, Nora. Give me a month in the kingdom. " Oh, Alfred! “TO YOU think I look well in this dress?” she asked. “Um,” her husband replied, “who made it?” “T did, but I’m afraid”. “My dear, I never saw you have on a more becoming gown than that one is. By Jove! you took so slim and graceful and young that I can hardly realize we've been married seven years.” “Oh, Alfred, do you really mean that? I be- lieve I'll make all my clothes after this.” As soon as he could decently get away Alfred He was then led away to the gasoline cellar, while the Kadoot and his new companion were raised to the roof where they might enjoy the set- ting sun. * * * It was two months later. Out in the royal garage which Patrick Murphy had occasioned to be put up just in the rear of the Kadoot’s palace, that able gentleman, his hair redder than ever, and his face bearing the ruddy glow of health, was apparently busy on his mas- ter’s auto. As the sun rose in the heavens, how- ever, he glanced furtively out of the door, and a look of anxiety came over his face. “She should be here now,” he muttered uneasil Suddenly there was a soft step. “Ah, ‘tis you, is it?” The new queen entered softly. s, why did you send for me to come here? pu know if the Kadoot finds it out, it means death for both of us?” Her late husband, now reconstructed and with the light of a new hope shining in his eyes, smiled confidently. “Sure, Nora, dear,” he said, “never fear. Death be blowed. What do you suppose I’ve been doing the last four weeks?” “What have you been doing?” “Haven't I been getting the boys together? It was a hard matter, I assure ye, what with my not being on easy terms with the lingo, but Nora, human nature is the same the world over. All these Hindoo dagos wanted was sympathy, real sym- pathy. I’ve been rallying ’em, Nora dear, under the sweet flag of old Ireland. Caucuses is getting to be as plenty in this little kingdom of Lyssore as shillalies in Cork. Nora, will you forgive me for all I’ve done to ye? I didn’t mean it all. I didn’t know what I was doing with you, the jewel of a woman that ye are. Sure, you were right to run away from me. But now will you take me back?” “How canI? Iwouldn’t dare, Besides” —— She tossed her head. “Trather like to be queen, It’s good fun.” Patrick Murphy did not immediately reply. He went to the window and looked out toward the royal palace. In an Eastern pagoda the Sun of Heaven and Ruler of the Sun, Moon and Stars was smoking a cigarette with his old side partner, the faithful Lazeer. Beyond the arch of the palace about 100 feet away there crouched a single figure. Patrick raised his hand to the figure and waved it three times. The figure leaned over. There wasa pause. Then sudden- ly a terrific explosion rent the air, and before the astonished cyes of the new queen rose the frag- ments of the Kadoot and the Lazeer, alas! on their last journey. The pagoda was blown to atoms. And for some moments fragments con- tinued to fall at their feet. “What does this mean ?” exclaimed Nora. Patrick Murphy clasped her fervently in his arms. “It means, Nora dear,” he said, ‘that I’ve been doin’ a little blasting on my own hook. Me being a contractor, there was nothing to prevent what with dynamite I made and gasoline I had. It means, Nora dear, a revolution. I’ve can- vassed the entire kingdom and the boys is with me toa man. It’s all been planned. I’m boss of this district, Nora dear, with the defeated candi- date not saying a word. I’m king of the whole place. Me! Patrick Murphy, Emperor of the Hindoo Dagos, Sun of Heaven, Lord of the Sun, Moon and Stars and Ruler of the Planets and other live things around. Nora,are you with me? And will you be good all the rest of your life?” His reconciled and repentant and forgiving wife put her head on his shoulder. “Pat,” she said, “I will—if you will. But I wish, while you were about it, you'd made a clean job of the whole thing and blown up that harem also,” went out and treated himself to several of the best cigars he could find.—Chicago Record-Herald. i men were undergoing civil service exam- inations in New York City for jobs in the fire department. Among the questions to be answered was one of a rather complicated char- acter regarding municipal government. One candidate answered: ‘What's that to do with squirting a hose?” The other man wrote in answer to the same question, ‘I don’t know, but I want the job.”” Both men passed,—Chicago Journal. His Mood MEMBER of the faculty of the University of Wisconsin tells of some amusing replies made by a pupil undergoing an examination in English. The candidate had been instructed to write out examples of the indicative, the sub- junctive, the potential and the exclamatory moods. His effort resulted as follo “Tam endeavoring to pass an English examina- tion. If I answer twenty questions I shall pass. If I answer twelve questions I may pass. God help me!” —Harper’s Weekly. comicbooks.com