Life — July 5, 1906 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

826 —and fetch me one of those flying things— and remember, don’t forget the girl.” The Lazeer trembled all over, and bowed his head solemnly. “Yes, Sire. It is already done.” His not to reason why; his but to do and die. The royal edict had gone forth. To disobey it was worse than death. The mere snipping off a head was incidental to the Lazeer. It happened every day. But to disobey the Light of the Sun meant an eternal misery in the hereafter. It meant to be cut off forever from the joys of that Heaven which was to come. Hitherto, no wish of the Kadoot had ever remained ungratified. He waved his hand now over the head of the trembling Lazeer, almost paralyzed with the suddenness of the command. “Go! at once. Retum in four months or’. There was a formidable silence. The Lazeer salaamed. He backed away from the royal presence with the bags of gold in his hand, In another moment he had left the palace. And in another hour he was galloping off over the smooth road that led through the hidden gap in the mountains, in the direction of the great Boli pass; while in the silence of his own private apartment the morose Kadoot, far enough away from his seraglio not to hear its music, sat and gazed long and devoutly at the face of his new divinity, as she sped over the colored perspective in her magic machine. * * # It was one month later. Globe automobile—admitted to be the most perfect thing of its kind in the world—was sitting in front of his place in Bridesport with his feet cocked up in front of him reading the morning paper. His demonstrator, who had been out in a car showing a prospective customer its merits, had just come up and stood in the doorway look- ing out at the passers-by. In front of the shop a big Globe machine was chugging softly to itself. Suddenly the demonstrator uttered an exclamation “Great coming?” Payton looked down the street. The Grand Lazeer of Lyssore, in full oriental costume, fol- lowed by several small boys, was moving slowly along. By his side trotted a little man with a high forehead. “It’s one of those Easterners,” said Payton, “That’snothing. They're common as hens. Why you can see ’em every day in New York walking up and down Broadway. “Well, Pl bet he’s a hi; at the clothes on him.” In truth, the Lazcer was clothed in the finest of silks. As he reached the automobile agency he paused. Looking up into the window, he nodded his head toward the poster that hung therein. His eyes blinked solemnly. He had found his quar ayton rose to greet them. “Good moming, sir.” The Lazeer’s companion spoke. “This gentleman is from the East, as you may guess. He came to this country a week or so ago. I am professor of oriental languages in the Tart University and leaming of his arrival I sought him out. He wishes to buy an automobile. He has seen your poster and thinks the Globe is what he wants.” The agent for the Scott! Mr. Payton, what is th Sj Lal Leu oie “Good!” exclaimed Payton. “I have a car right here and shall be glad to take you out.” He waved his hand toward the red car in front. The Lazeer pointed to the poster. Then to the car. “Yes, sir; that’s the identical model. Price, $4,000.”” ‘The Lazeer whispered to the professor. That person smiled, then laughed. “He says,” he remarked to Payton, “that he will take that machine. But—he wants the girl.” ‘The agent controlled himself with an effort. “Ha!” he exclaimed, “that’s a good joke. Say, Jimmie,” to the demonstrator, “what do you think of it, ch?” Jimmie, faint, leaned up against a guard. “Well, that’s the richest thing I ever heard!”” he exclaimed. “Gee! that gets me. Say, if we furnished a girl with every car we sold—well, I guess it would cost more to run ’em than it does now. That's grand!” Payton, unable to conceal hi his hand on his knee. “Don’t that beat h—I, Jimmie?” he cried. “What do you think of it?” he said, turing to the professor. That would be a cinch, wouldn't it? Explain it to him, will you? Tell him we don’t do things that way over here.”” The professor, who was keenly enjoying the situation, had an animated conference with his guest. As it progressed, his face grew more solemn. Finally he advanced to Payton once more. “You see,” he said, “the situation is like this. He is the right-hand man—a Grand Lazeer— of a powerful monarch in Thibet—a monarch who is all supreme. Now this monarch has commanded him to fetch back one of your machines, and also the girl, whom he supposes goes with it. You understand they do things different over there. There is no reason why we should laugh at them. Probably many of the things we do would seem wonderfully strange to them.”* “Of course,” said Payton, “I suppose that's so. But how in blazes does he expect me to furnish him with a girl? I'm in the automobile business—not girls.’” “But he says you advertised the girl to go with the machine—and from a logical standpoint, that’s precisely what you have done. At any rate, he would have mighty hard work to con- vince his master to the contrary. And if he doesn’t fulfill his commissi The professor paused. The Lazeer, who had caught something of the tenor of their conversa- tion, smiled. significantly. He pointed to. the poster once more. Then he put his long hand up, and drew the first finger of it across his throat. Jimmie, the demonstrator, turned pale. “Then your head comes off?” said Payton. The Lazeer bowed. “What the devil does he go back for? Why not stay here? I'll give him a job if he wants. He’d be a first rate ad.” “Dear me, no. His religion compels him to retum—otherwise he would be in eternal tor- ments. It is necessary for him to obey his master’s order to the very letter.” “What will be the girl’s position ?”” “Why, she'll be queen, of course—no ordinary job I assure you. The Lazeer says that his ings, slapped monarch, the Kadoot, is crazy about that girl, and when he takes a notion like that, if the girl has any gumption she can run the whole country.” “But she must look like the girl in the poster. That’s a fancy picture, I’m afraid.” “Yes, I suppose she must resemble that girl somewhat.” The agent drummed his fingers thoughtfully on his chair. “Well,” he said, “I’ve been in all kinds of queer things but this beats ’em all. I never thought I'd be supplying queens. But I’ll do the best I can. I suppose his nibs here is black with “Dear me, yes. Why, that diamond on his finger would pretty nearly buy out your whole establishment. I’ve had to guard him carefully to keep him from being robbed.” “Well, you come around in four days and I'll see what can be done. If it is possible, I'll get the girl to go with that car.” After his guests had departed, Payton tumed to his demonstrator. That young man was still overcome with the thoughtof what had happened. “Say, Jimmie, don’t you know of some real nice smart girl who wants a job as queen? Easy hours, plenty of money.” . Jimmie roared. “Gee, that’s great! You've got a contract.” “Nonsense! I’ve never yet wanted anything that I couldn’t get by advertising for it.” “What do you mean?” said Jimmie. Payton did not reply at once. He was busy with pencil and paper. This is what I mean,” he said at last. “Now you run around and put this in the Recorder to-morrow, and we'll see what happens. He handed Jimmie the following advertisement: QuveEN Wantep: To take charge of a stern kingdom and be the wife of and plenty. Life position guaranteed. Must be a lady of tact and beauty and used to automobiling. Sincere. Enclose photograph. Address confidential. Recorder office. comfort. * * * Bridesport w sa city of 100,000 inhabitants. In the fifth district no one was more powerful than Patrick Murphy. With that supreme instinct for politics which characterizes his race he had gathered all the power into his own hands, and was the most successful boss in a small way in the whole town, He was by profession a contractor, On the following moming after the Lazeer and the professor had visited Payton’s shop this gentleman's wife, her eyes swollen with weeping, was writing a letter to her mother. It read as* follows: Dear Ma: 1 have determined to run away from Pat for the reason that I cannot stand his abuse and neglect any more. When we were first married a year ago he as very good to me, but what with drink- g and carousing I never have a peaceful moment. For months now he hasn’t given me a cent to spend and I cannot stand it any longer. I know that you have all you can take care of, and I shall not be a burden to you. I shall either put anend to my miserable life, or else go somewhere (Continued on page 828)