Life — June 14, 1906 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE REASON sare humorists because they are sad.—The Sketch.) te not to overflowing glee think you behold in me The proof that spirits and expressions fit, Experience tells bells ilarity, but lack of if T set the table ina roar By dext'rously manipulating truth, Or putting vehicles their steeds betore, Or proving culture mote and more uncouth, Pray recom The secret lies Within a troublesome and hollow tooth. 11 joy of living bubbles from my lips. As if for Care I did not care a pin, And, were a prize held out for merry quips, There could not be a questian who would win, Then may you know The bills Towe, And have no chance to pay, are dropping in. And if you scan this unpeetending ode, aply suited to your mind, the metal on th As in the f was refined; But seek its cause In Nature's laws And know some other verse has been decline —London Tribune. anvil glowed ce of wi A RECEIPT FOR HIS BRAIN ical discussion he generated thers At this point a solemn-looking individual, who up to this time had held his peace, suddenly interjected Gents, I want to say that I'm the oaly sane man here that has the papers to prove it ‘The crowd gazed u in astonishment. tis true, inued the solemn looking individual, as he a document from the recesses of his coat here's my discharge from the State Insane Asylum!"—Har- per’s Weekly CORRECT J" asked the teacher, “what do we see in the s, trees and flowers?” “Patent medicine signs!” was the prompt reply —Loussralle ur mal JUST ONE MORE CHANCE (to prisoner just condemned to death): You have the 1 right to express a last wish, and if it is possible it will be gratified, Prisoner (a barber): 1 should like just allowed to shave the District Attorney ¢ more to be Jugend “Witeer did you learn the Lord’s Prayer?” asked an Atchison Sunday-school teacher of a little girl “1 used to live in Topeka, the little girl, “and I learned it there ow, let me heag you say it.” said the teacher to the next MR. CHOLERIC, THE INHUMAN HORSEMAN, WHOSE NEW AUTO HAS BALKED NOT ENOUCH BAIT Knox has.a good story of the last fight the late Senator Pennsylvania, Senate. Quay was working hard on the Statchood bill obstructing legislation, when a scheme xed up to get him away from the Senate for a time of tarpon f J had a winter ph Florid moon he received this telegram fi jena who thought the Senator might be in better business than ering around about new States Quay was gz never 50 good. Tarpon biting everywhere. Sport Quay read the telegram nswered it thus: “Tarpon may be biting, but Tam not ‘da tiny, little smile. Then M.S. Quay."— THE FALL OF JENKINS William Allen White, the Kansas editor, in telling of the troubles of a city editor in drilling green reporters, was reminded of an amusing case that came within his own observation “There is one thing you must remember above everything else," said the city editor of a St. Louis paper to a new reporter, “and that is: tell in the first few lines what your story is abour— in other words. give the substance ac once. Then follow with a recital of the facts, and conclude with interviews with the people concerned. ‘That is the only orderly way of writing your story" The new man gave close attention to this lesson, the result of which was that he handed in that night a news item reading as follows “Rufus Jenkins, a carpenter, slipped and fell in Vine Street yesterday and sprained his ankle badly. “Mr. Jenkins was walking along Vine Street when » is feet slipped from under him and he fell, spraining on. ankles “When seen by a reporter he said: ‘I was walking a Street. when in some way my fect slipped from un fell heavily to “Mr. Frank Fuller said: ‘1 was walking behind M ‘on Vine Street when I saw him slip and fall to the » When [ assisted him to rise he told me that he had sprain sidewalk, spraining one of my ankles of his ankles. “Dr. Thomas Rich, wh Jenkins has a badly He will be Ia “Mr. Jenkins coukd not a ters’ Union. The pres ssed regret that Mr. Jenkins could not atten fallen in Vine Street, spraining one of his anh Harper's Weekly cl up for some time.” LAMENTABLE IGNORANCE It was visiting day at the kindergarten and the young was proud of hee li as they went through their ¢ ad .exercises and be with pleasure at the appr shown by the visitors. who applauded generoudy. Then came the lesson and the teacher announced the subject Children,” she said. “to-day we are going cat, and I want you to tell me what you know about it how many legs has the cat?” repli + pro Yes, and, Dai ele murmured Daisy, shyly feline anatomy were ascertained ped to one of the latest ax quis the kindergarten and said, sweetly Mary, can you tell me whether the cat h mpt, mingled with a vast surprise. Mary “Gee, teacher, ain't you never scen a cat?” And the lesson came to an abrupt end.—Buf ews A Lapy met asked, “How ed invalid replied: “I've had $250 worth of gris neighbor who had been ill several week re you feeling now, Mrs. Lowenstein?” 1 ian Register 00 a year in advance le current copies, 10 cent lished every Thurs $1.08 a ye Lire is p Postal Uni in. Great Britain . England, Acexts. Postage to for Back numbers, after three The International News Company, Bream’s not to be reproduced. any change of address ‘Wee only wlnskey that places a complete, quararteed analysis on each werery, baitle- See back label! THANSN fF casters SURBRUG-Importer Cigarette of Quality AROMATIC DELICACY— MILDNESS— PURITY “18-HOUR TRAIN TO CHICAGO. @ 20TH CENTURY LIMITED 27k es HAD. comicbooks.com