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Life, 1906-06-07 · page 34 of 42

Life — June 7, 1906 — page 34: what you’re looking at

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Life — June 7, 1906 — page 34: Life, 1906-06-07

What you’re looking at

The main narrative depicts a wealthy man, Dimpleton, attempting to unload a defective automobile onto his naive young cousin Arthur by disguising it as a generous gift. The car has a "rear entrance" (likely a euphemism for structural damage), and Dimpleton repeatedly asks Arthur to "promise" he'll take it—manipulative language suggesting awareness of the deception. The satire targets the era's nouveau riche and their social pretensions. Dimpleton hides the car in a barn "so the neighbors can't see," revealing that his concern is appearances, not substance. He exploits Arthur's youth, gratitude, and mechanical skills, framing repairs as a "labor of love" while offloading his problem. The joke hinges on wealthy hypocrisy: Dimpleton wraps selfishness in generosity, using social status as cover. The final panel shows Arthur discovering the car's true condition—the reveal of the con. This reflects early 20th-century anxieties about class mobility and automobile ownership as status symbols.

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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

OO strong—too weak—few bar cocktails ever are exactly right? CLUB COCKTAILS are mixed unerringly, by measure, from the finest liquors procurable. They cannot vary—each one is perfect because every mixture is aged and tested after it’s measured. Insist on CLUB. Just strain through cracked ice and serve. Seven varieties; eachone delicious—of all good gro- cers and dealers. G. F. HEUBLEIN @ BRO., Sole Props. She RUPRECHT- IGNITER The Spark Vital to the Not affected by Peat—cold—dust e¢ moisture. The Williams Telephone @ Supply Co. 105 Central Ave. Cleveland, 0. Ghampagne GL course! “T'll have to tow her.” “All right, tow her. Do i so the neighbors can’t see. I cannot spare the room in my barn myself, but I'll keep her there until I think the matter out.” When Dimpleton got home that night he was in no amiable mood. He explained the situation to his wife. “Impossible!” exclaimed Mrs. Dimpleton. “There must be some one who wants that machine.” “But who? At first I was willing to sell it at any reasonable figure. ‘Then I found that to do this meant a large outlay. Then I found that I | couldn’t even give it away “How about Cousin Arthur? He’s mechanical, and I know he’s crazy about automobiles.” “So he is—I hadn’t thought of him.” The next day Cousin Arthur was sent for. He was a y lor—graduate of a scientific school, just beginning to make his way. “Cousin Arthur,” said Dimpleton, “I’ve got a little surprise for you. I’ve got an automobile out here—I purchased it recently at a bargain. It’s really a splendid machine, but it doesn’t quite |suit me, You see, it has a rear entrance. I didn’t discover this until after I got it. Of course, this seem trifling to some people, but you under- stand, Arthur, that we have to be more or less particular, with our social position, The manu- facturer, of course, will exchange, but it occurred to me that you might like it.” Cousin Arthur’s face flushed with pleasurable excitement. “I'm afraid,” he said, “that I couldn’t afford to buy it from you.” “Not at all.” Dimpleton waved his hand grandly. “T wouldn’t think of such a thing. You only recently attained your majority. Consider this as | tht testimonial. I want to make you a present of it.” ' Cousin Arthur tumed in front of the bam | door, overwhelmed with his emotion. | “You can’t mean it!” he exclaimed. “But Ido. It’s yours.” “This is too much.’ “Don’t mention it.” Dimpleton threw open the bam door. The re- flection of the glistening red paint from the machine gave the flush on Cousin Arthur's face a deeper hue than ever. “Tsn’t ita beauty?” “Splendid.” “You'll take it, won't you? You won’t be too proud.” “Oh, no, Tl take it.” “ Promise me you'll take it?” said Dimpleton, * | eamestly. “Sure thing,” replied Cousin Arthur, smiling. “Only too glad. Let’s look her over.” “Of course,” said Dimpleton, taking off the engine hood as slowly as possible, in order to gain time. “You understood that in addition to the rear entrance I’ve mentioned, there may be some other defects. But with your training and mechanical mind, it will be a labor of love to fix | her up.” | In the meantime Cousin Arthur had not been |idle. Helping Dimpleton, he removed ‘the seats |and top hamper. He peered into the inside. | “I see,” he whispered, solemnly, at last, “you m2 Linen— for Freedom Freedom from the “stickiness” of “close” da’ Because the firm, glossy Linen threads stand apart as woven and let the air circulate through their meshes. That keeps them dried out and you feel clean and comfortable. And freedom from colds, too. 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