Life, 1906-06-07 · page 27 of 42
Life — June 7, 1906 — page 27: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a humorous short story (not a political cartoon) about Mr. Dimpleton, a gullible buyer who purchases a used automobile for $800, believing it was originally worth $5,000. His skeptical wife Mrs. Dimpleton suspects he's been cheated by Paynor's automobile exchange—a used-car dealer running a classic con. The satire targets early 20th-century consumer naiveté and dishonest business practices in the emerging auto industry. The title "Second-Hand Elephant" suggests an unwieldy, problematic purchase (referencing the phrase "white elephant"—an expensive, burdensome gift). The accompanying cartoon shows an absurdly overloaded automobile, illustrating the joke: Dimpleton's "bargain" will likely prove costly and troublesome. The story continues on another page, presumably revealing whether the machine actually works or becomes the disaster his wife expects.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
-LIFE- A Second-Hand Elephant By Appison Fox, Jr. “PVE struck a great thing !"” Dimpleton, having delivered himself of this enthusi- asm, started to say more, but checked himself in the nick of time, as he caught his wife regarding him with a look of anxious suspicion. “Don’t be alarmed,” he said, rapidly beginning to hedge “You'll be as glad as Lam when you hear about it; only must know the whole truth; so that you won't be prejudiced You know Paynor's place, of course?” “Never heard of it,” replied Mrs. Dimpleton “What!” exclaimed Dimpleton. ‘Never heard of Paynor’s ? Well, for your information, my dear, I will say that it is the finest and best automobile exchané fh this country. ‘To-day I here to look around and’’—— “You didn’t get anything?” cried Mrs. Dimpleton, “Didn't I, though? Ha! The chance of a lifetime! may not believe it, my dear, but I picked up a $5,000 ma for $800. Think of it. Only been run a few months. Good as new, Ouvrier, who, by the way, is one of our leading millionaires, sold it because he really had more on hand than red for.” Irate Mr. Longlegs: ALONG THE GRODND. SIR! NO, $k! VOU DON'T CATCH ME PAYING PARE WHEN | HAVE TO LET MY FEET DRAG “T feel sure you got cheated!” “Cheated! Me—cheated! That’s all you know about it In the first place it was a rainy day and few buyers. I just picked up a bargain, that’s all. A chance like that: might never come again, Why the tires alone—brand new, of course—are worth in the open market S4oo or Ssoo. Wait till you sce her! Newly painted—a really wonderful machine. And she'll just fit into the bam.” “Did you go out in her?” quavered Mrs. Dimpleton. “It wasn’t necessary. They started her up—went right off at the very first tum—and she ran like a bird, right on the floor of the garage. Wonderful horse-power. I’ve forgotten how much it is.”” Mrs. Dimpleton sighed deeply. “IT don’t want to make you angry, dear,” she said, “but I really didn’t suppose you were such a fool.” “Why?” “Well, you know, those men are doing that sort of thing right along. They are not losing money and you are the victim. You might at least have given ita fair trial.” Dimpleton smiled. “Now, my dear,” he said, “don’t think I’m so bad as that. Of course, I understand fully that I was running some risk. But the circumstances were peculiar, and to buy for only $800 machine that I knew positively was sold for $5,000, in the condition that it appears to be in, is not going to involve me in much of a loss. 1 may, of course, have to have some- thing done to it that I cannot tell about now. But even so that isn’t very terrib! And if I find I’m stuck. ) y can get rid of it again at that small figure.” “Perhaps you can,”said Mrs. Dim- pleton. “Let us hope so, my dear.” But in spite of her resigned manner, her heart misgave her. The next day the wonderful ma- chine, glistening in a new coat of red paint, came home, and as it stood proudly out in the back yard it was, indeed, as Dimpleton remarked proudly to his wife, ‘a thing of beauty and a joy forever.” “You'd better try it first,” said Mrs. Dimpleton, ‘‘and then if it works all right, I'll go out with you.” Dimpleton had been out in auto- mobiles with friends enough to know how to run one. This story is continued on sth advertising page following comicbooks.com