Life — May 31, 1906 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

-LIFE.- 665 R. RO’ PER, editor of the Omaha Bee, is said to be a candidate for the United States Senate-—Cincinesti Enguirer. ‘The Senate needs a little Rosewater. Re His grateful countrymen, anyway, Can lay their hands on their hearts and say, They have laid to rest the proba bones. Of the late lamented John Paul Jones.— Morgantown Post. Anyway, his grateful countrymen are better off than old Mother Hubbard’s dog. € There is some difference, after all, between those two big. big “D's,” 8 Why is it that so many socialist authors are dissatisfied with their wives ?—Chicago Satur Evening Herald. Why should they make their wives the only exception in the world? e Nelson Wilmarth Aldrich studied baseball scores while the President's message on Standard Oil was being read.—Birmingham A ge-Herald. What could President Roosevelt tell Senator Aldrich about Standard Oil that the father-in-law of young Rockefeller didn’t already know? , bd ‘The New Yorker who raised a $3 city warrant to $559.00 showed the high finance instinct —Louisville Times He had probably been reading about how the insurance officials raised their salaries. LIFE’S WEATHER FORECAST Diminishing Winds Every once iv a while the Iroquol News. But not Klaw & re case is tried some more —Chicage And so the Missour! counties which indorsed Bryan yesterday made a total of —what do you think ‘—25.—Indianapolis News With Skidoc County yet to be heard from m A fight is beginning in Rhode Island over Senator Wetmore's seat Dispatch They shouldn’t fight too strenuously or some one may fall over the edge. & “ Big Hawley,” retired countertfeiter, confesses thi s by prominent people —Boston Transcript he muck rakers have evidently found a scapegoat ie) ‘There are no old maids in Turkey, and no equivalents for the word spinster in the Turkish language —New York Sun. Also in the good old days in Utah. mm A rotten mind ina healthy body és far worse than a rotten body with a healthy mind.— Baltimore American. Cheer up, old man. You may be better soon. g be President. — Butte Inter- Mountain. Pittsburg of many magazine Mr. Hearst would rather be wrong th. In other words, he prefers a certainty to an uncertainty Miss Madeline E. Doty has been appointed receiver of a millinery store in New York.—Rochester Post What bliss for one of the sex! wan Mr. Heinze also announces that he will not be a candidate § J States Senate.—Butte Inter Mountaii Some of our millionaires are getting mifthty particular about their reputations. B Dr. Sargent, of Harvard, warns wom ball, hockey, basketball and pole-vaulting. Please note, ladies, that he says nothing about the wash- board. Q ‘The muck rakers should lay aside the rake. ington Star Nota steam shovel ainst such streu Rochester Post. athletics as foot: y need a steam shovel.—Wash- a hot-air shovel If Turkish women are at last in revolt against the doomed.—Bufelo News ‘hey may regret the peace of the harem when they've joined a few women’s clubs a] ‘The woman who invented the modern corset has died at the ripe age of 05. — Mexican Herald. There’s nothing in that statement to prove that she ever a AE ago paychologist burglary is a disease —Rochester Post msystem, it is wore one. According toa C According to the fellow who's burglarized it’s a blank blank outrage. comicbooks.com