Life, 1906-05-31 · page 12 of 22
Life — May 31, 1906 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
The main cartoon depicts **Pegasus (the mythical winged horse) pulling a modern automobile** laden with money and wealthy figures. The caption reads "PEGASUS IS TOO SLOW FOR MODERN USE," satirizing how even mythical speed cannot keep pace with contemporary American capitalism and greed. The text below presents satirical dialogue attributed to "John Smith" addressing a public gathering about the American Revolution. Smith's rhetoric grotesquely perverts revolutionary ideals into justifications for punishing the poor and enriching industrialists like Andrew Carnegie and Rockefeller. The satire targets how wealthy business magnates of the Gilded Age co-opted patriotic language to legitimize exploitation and inequality, disguising capitalist excess as civic duty. The winged horse symbolizes how even mythology fails to match modernity's relentless material ambition.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
PEGASUS 18 TOO SLOW TOR MODERN USE. The American Revolution CHAPTER VUI moming of the tenth of July dawned serene and erything presented an orderly appearance. Only the faces of the crowds showed what was pending. Ten weeks before the price of ice had risen over night to $8 a hundred. E; were St each. Beef was $2 a pound. After this came the deluge. The committee of public safety, although hastily formed, had been effect: The city was held in an iron grip. It remained only to inaugurate the new régime, and to do away with the old forever. At nine o’clock the following announcement was made to the people: CITIZENS! The new calendar begins to-day. ‘The enemies of the people will, beginning at noon, get what is coming to them. After they have been disposed of, the new order of things will be ushered in. John Smith, (For the Committee.) At twelve o'clock Madison Square was crowded with com- mon people. A temporary stand had been erected in the Flatiron Building over the site of the editorial staff of Munsey’s Magazine. Mr. Smith addre “Citizens: as come to all of us. Those who predicted a reign of anarchy and bloodshed little realized the great strides which have been made in the business of revo- lutions, The French Revolution was a crude affair, vulgar and inartistic. We have advanced since then. “Citizens! One of the most important tragedies of life is death, Hundreds die every day without comment. It is a common lot. Killing is too good for some. “We have done a great work. All the trusts have been abolished. We are now sailing on an even keel. All that remains is to dispose of our enemies in the most effective manner. Let Andrew Camegie be led out.” This gentleman, closely guarded, was brought forth on a raised platform. ed the multitude John Smith continued: “Citizens! At great trouble and some expense, we have collected over 100 of the homeliest women in this country. They will be changed con- stantly as new recruits are gathered, so that the standard of ugliness will be kept up. Mr. Camegie will be con- tinuously kissed by these ladies every evening, winter and summer, rain or shine, in Union Square, until he slowly dies of shame and mortifi- cation, Matinees, Wednesday and Saturday. Andrew Camegie fainted at. this, and was dragged out amid long and continued cheers, ‘The Senate of the United States was then brought in chained together. Mr. Smith continued: “Citizens! Here we have a deformed body, recently among the wealthiest villains and now the first to plead for mercy. “But none shall be granted them! “At one time they would have been quietly guillotined— as if this punishment amounted to anything! From now on they will be confined in the Palm Room of the Waldorf-Astoria, and fed on patent breakfast food and Standard Oil. If they fail to cat every man his portion, they will be operated on for appendicitis twice every day by the first ambulance surgeon who comes along. Long live the Republic!” At this announcement the common people went into trans- ports of joy. The directors of the New York Central Railroad were then led in. Mr. Smith waved his hand: itizens! These creatures will hereafter be chained to the inside of their own tunnel, and given a soot bath twice a day. May they live long and suffer!” The multitude was beside itself with exuberance. Mr. Smith then announced that the programme for the day was over. “Citizens!” he exclaimed, ‘do not be disappointed. A regiment of learned men is now at work, with special punish- ments. To-morrow I shall announce the fate of John D, Rockefeller, E. H. Harriman, William Hearst and the mem- bers of the Beef, Coal and Ice trusts. Over night be daffy in the thought of brother Camegie and the others we have just dealt with.” . ‘This was greeted with long-continued cheers. That night the people rested, singing songs of triumph, while, with joyful anticipations, they waited the dawn of another day. Cable from St. Petersburg AY —, 1906. Ata late hour last night it was conceded by Boss Nicholas that Russia has gone Democratic. HE man with the muck rake is behind the times. What he needs is a steam shovel