Life — May 10, 1906 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ELIJAH How are the mighty fallen, No more the third is be: Instead we christen Dowie Elijah 23 —New York Sun. NOT A MINISTER'S LADY ‘The public library of a small town is often the repository of miscellancous bequests and benelactions for the bestowal of re is no other convenient place. ppens that in ry which graces the Lower Green of old will find, be which t the pretty little ti Heatley the vis and picture One of the casts represe Athena. They attracted t able-looking women who had strayed one day into the building fe by trolley *T suppose he's the founder,” remarked one of them, regard but he’s kind 0 Jes books, a number of curios and two fine casts from the antique. s Demosthenes and the othe: (tention of two pleasan during an outing to ing Demosthenes with respect dressed, seems to me, most as if he was wrap Don't it strike you he’s queer, Melinda?” Melinda contemplated the orator attentively "No," she announced, “ot relly quect; only because he's a statue and white all over, ‘The memorial tablet says he was a minister, you know, and I suppose that’s just his gown.” “Well, Then her eye roved to the nobly warlike figure of the goddess, in corse helm and mantle, her hand gra incisively: But, statue of not, if T were the committee I'd pack that bbe so." her companion agreed ping a I don’t care what the fashions were in hee day, that ain't a proper dress for a minister's wife. Carry- ing a cane and wearing such a bonnet! And you mark my words. Melinda, if her looks don’t belie ber, that poor man was beapecked."—4 Companton. { his up attic quick A cemiovs thing noticed at once by visitors to Moscow is the absence of whips among the cab drivers. There is a law pro- here 4s not a single whip in use in Moscow it of this Moderation varies the world over. The whip is ‘ow. They use it there on men and women hibiting their use. T ‘The excellent condition of the borses attests the ben humane law t in disuse in Mc —New York Tribune Cincinnati They were A MAN dropped fifty feet from the top story ¢ building this week pickled pigs’ feet —Aanta Journal, «J was pot hurt in the lea: Hre: Men are all flirts—you can’t trust one of them Has: More so than women? “Well. 1 should say so. ad I've found th is flirting with some other git —Cleveland Le I’m engaged to three of the nicest men ] ever knew every one of them AT THE PALACE HOTEL Secretary Taft said of a certain domineering statesman: “He fills men with dread. They quail before bim. They can’t call their souls their own in his presence. Altogether he makes me think of a waiter I once met in the West. “In a small Western town many years ago I put up at the Palace Hotel, “1 was assi in the room, and T rang. “There was no reply “Trang ag: “Still no reply. “And again and a; waiter appeared. “This waiter was a robust man of stern and forbidding aspect Did you ring?" h d toa room. There was no water nor towels in Trang. and finally a aid, in a rumbling bass voice. * said the waiter, with a menacing cw Vork Tribune, Mr Puss: bo YOU GO OUT MUCH IN SOCIETY, MISS KITTY? Mass Kilty: Of, t MAKE A YEW CAT-CALLS NOW AND THEN Is your mistress at home?" inquired Mrs, Borem, standing in the shadow of the doorway m.” replied the servant. “Can't tell whether she’s at home or not till I git a good look at ye. If ye hov a wart on the side of yer nase, ma‘am, she ain't.""—Phila- “TE don't know, ma’ delphia Press Sxnuxtxs: How do you like your new boarding house? Mx. Joxtxs: Oh! the rooms are fair, the table is only tolerable, but the gossip is excellent. —Hotel Lile DEEP IN THE MUD Congressman Longworth, at his bachelor dinner, told g story about mud. “An American in Liverpool, waiting for 4 boat home,” he said, “ate his last dinner on foreign soil wi an Englishman. “The Englishman complained of the mud in America. He : nads of im into, both walking told a number of tall stories about the exccrable America, and the scrapes they had gotten and driving. “At the end of a particularly tall story of this kind the Amer. said: Yes, we have a lot of mud in America I ad: nothing to the mud over here, though.’ “* Nonsense,’ said the Englishman. “* Fact,’ the American replied. ‘Why, this afternoon, on a walk out Chester way, I had a remarkable adventure—came near getting into trouble with an old gentleman—ail your accursed mud.” ** Some of the streets are a little greasy at this season said the Englishman. ‘What was your adve: “Well,” said the American, ‘as I was walkil Street, I noticed that the mud was very thick, a saw a high hat afloat on a large puddle of very rich Thinking to do some one a kindness, I gave with’ my stick, when an old gentleman looked up fron surprised and frowning. “* Hello,’ I said, *y ein pretty deep. Deeper than you think,’ he said. *I'm oa the top of a3 omnibus.""—St. Louts Globe- Democrat. HER RANGE Mrs Kyicxe: What docs she talk about? Mas. Bockrx: Bridge and Bridget.—Harper's Bazar THEIR PATIENCE WAS REWARDED One afternoon a couple from an adjoining town preveated themselves to a Boston divine just as he was about to enter the pulpit to conduct an afternoon service. They advised him tht they were anxiousto be married just as quickly as possible. The minister, an extremely methodical man, replied that he regretted that he could not at that moment comply with their wish; bet that, immediately upon the conclusion of the service, he wold take pleasure in performing the ceremony. The lovers, after some demurring, seated themselves in the rear of the church, there to remain in ill-concealed impatience till the discourse should be ended. When the minister had finished bis remarks, he cleared bis throat, and made the following remarkable announcement “The partis who are to be joined in matrimony will see sent themselves at the ¢ of hyma 41s, aken Souls that Dream of Heavea! cel immediately after the singing Success AT THE THEATRE Mrs. Dr Furre (to her husband): Jack, that man in the box haso't taken his eyes off me for a full half-hour. De Furete: How do you know?—Translated for Tol from Familie Journal. $5.00 a year in advance Je current copies, 10 cents. Lire: is published every Thursday Postal Union, 31.04 a year from date of 'p in Great Britain. The International News C Building, Chancery Lane, London, E. C., Eng! AGENts No contribution will be rety Back numbers, a The altustrations in Lary: ere Prom pt notification should be med unless accompanied by stamped and address pyrighted, and are not to be reproduced. by subscribers of any change of address Wison- “Whe ony whuskey, that paces a compat, quararkeed analysis on each tevery, battle- Seeback label! @ Nine Trains Daily for Chicago— NEW YORK CENTRAL LINES WHEN HUNTER WHISKEY COMES TO JUDGMENT THERE'S A VERDICT IN Thats Ml! ITS FAVOR EVERY TIME. WM. LANAHAN & SON, Baltimore, Md. ben (5951 comicbooks.com