Life — May 3, 1906 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Greenhorn X-DELEGATE RODEY, of New Mexico, who has been in Washington this winter fighting for joint statehood, tells a story illustra- tive of the trite saying that circumstances alter cases. Some of the citizens of a certain South- western town, which was still in the class of fron- tier ments, devised a new method of in- ducing “tenderfoot”’ visitors to furnish entertain- ment forthe crowd. When the stranger arrived in town and began the making of acquaintances by ional methods the ringleaders would pre- se him one of the natives, who was described asa marvellously accurate shot. To satisfy the curiosity and interest invariably manifested by the stranger the marksman would consent to give an exhibition of his skill after considerable urging on the part of his friends, Raising his six-shooter the celebrity would address the stranger: “Do you see that man smoking a cigar about two blocks down the street there? I'll hit the cigar without making the man bat an eye.” Bang! went the six-shooter, and back came the » the street: , here, Bill, you have got to stop this thing. That's the fourth cigar you have spoiled for me today. I don’t like it. Get somebody else to practise on.”” The astonished stranger could always be de- pended on after such an exhibition “to set up” the marksman and his friends. One day there appeared a visitor less credulous than his prede cessors, After the usual exhibition this stranger appeared scornful of the feat. “That's nothing,” he declared. “That does not prove you can shoot. I'll wager $100 you can’t hita barn door at one hundred yards.” The marksman took him up, and followed by the crowd retired with him to the back of the store for the test. A shot was heard, and shortly after: ward the alleged marksman came back looking very glum. “What's the matter, Bill?”? asked the man whose duties behind the counter had kept him from enjoying the tenderfoot’s discomfiture. “Matter!” growled Bill. “Matter enough. That greenhorn set the door up edgewise!”— Washington Star. Maid Marion OUN KENDRICK BANGS tells this story on himself: His friend, Mr.*Marion Verdery, who is president of the Southern Society of New York, had asked him to speak at the annual din- ner of the society, and Mr. Bangs had accepted. But on the evening of the dinner he was too ill to go out, so he telegraphed his apologies to Mr. Verdery at Delmonico’s. Late that night Mr. Bangs’ telephone rang. Mrs. Bangs went to the receiver and was told that a telegram had just been received for her husband. She asked to have it tead off, but the lady at the other end refused, ying that the message was to be delivered to Mr. Bangs personally, and, though told of Mr. Bai illness, stuck to her decision. So the invalid put on a wrapper and struggled down to the receiver. “In answer to your telegram to Delmonico’s,” said the astute hello-girl, “the clerk telegraphs back that there is no lady of that name in the house.” —Saturday Evening Post. (539) how far Flexible attaches to Front ‘Wheel. -LIFE- Avoid a Trip to the Police Court The fine amounts to little- 's the hours of delay, the inconvenience and possible humiliation for you and for those in your company that try the patience and spoil the pleasure of the whole trip, ‘All this can positively be avoided by equipping your car with The Warner SEASON | miles per hour, Without it you never know your exact speed—and the temptation to go a little faster and a little faster is almost irre- sistible—you know how it is. And you know, too, what hap- pens toyou and your party when you think you are going 8 miles an hour and the Policeman's stop watch says 15. n't guess yourself into trouble—KNOW and keep out of it. The Warner AutoMeter is your salvation. ‘And it's your ONLY salvation. Because the Warner Auto-Meter is the only speed indicator which is sen- sitive enough to be absolutely and unfailingly accurate at speeds under 10 miles an hour. Because it's the only one which works perfectly in all positions and at all angles, on rough roads or smooth, up hill or dowa, Because it's the only one which changes with the seed alone and in which the indicator does uot dance back Compass reliable FOREVER under all cou.ditions. No one else can use Magnetism to determine the speed of an Automobile, though it's the only positive and sure way Because there is just one way in which Magnetism can successfully be used for this purpose and we have Patented that way. ‘There is nothing about the Warner AutoMeter which can give out, or wear out, or get out of adjust- ment. It is the only spced-indicator made without cams, plates or levers, and in which there is no fric- dion.’ Friction wears away the cams and levers in other speed indicators, which are necessarily so small that 1-1000 of an inch wear will throw out the read- ing from one to five miles per hour, 134 The Warner Instrument Co., Auto-Meter (Registers Speed and Distance) This little instrument always fells the truth. It regis- ters with ABSOLUTE ACCURACY from mile to 60 It attaches to any Automobile made. One Warner Auto-Meter will last a Iife- ime. It{s as sensitive as a Compass and as Solid as a Rok. Otherwise it couldn't Stand our severe service-test, whichis equiv alent to atrip of 160,000 Miles at 50 Miles per Hour om Granite Pavements Riding Solid Tires, ‘The practical Warner Testing Machine fs shown in Fig.1, The wheel connection of the Auto-Meter is attached to a shaft running 200 revolutions per minute. Across this shaft lies a plank which {s hinged at one end and has the Auto-Meter attached to the other, Brazed to the shait {sa knob of steel, which, at every revolution “bumps” the plank, giv ing to the Auto-Meter 200 shocks per minute ‘whileitis showing a speed of sOmiles per hour. Each one of these shocks fs more severe than would be suffered {n an entire season's riding. After running 10 hours a day for THREE MONTHS, actual tests show tho Axto-Meter to be recording the speed, with the same accuracy as at first within 1-1000 0f1%, or less than 6 inches per mile. No other Speed Indicator on Earth could Stand t ‘est. ‘This 1s why we sell each Auto-Meter ona 10 YEARS GUARANTEE and why we gladly renew any Auto-Meter (which has not been Injured by accident) if the Magnet (the HEART ofthe {astrument)is Jess accurate than!-10of Ifafter 10 years use. We will gladly tell you more about this wonderful instrument if you will write us, It you write TODAY we will send you Something every motorist will prize—our Free Book—**Auto Potaters.”* Roosevelt St., Beloit, Wis. (The Auto-Meter 1s on sale by all first-class dealers and at most Garages.) RIDE FAWKES TIRES (0 D4YS FREE It’s the only automobile tire made that’s sold under a positive, iron-clad, whole-souled guarantee —to make good, or your money back. That’s meant just as it reads. No quibbling, just the money. ‘We manufacture the Fawkes. At the manufacturer's price, too. uses it. ‘We sell it direct to the man who The Fawkes can’t puncture, can’t explode, can’t come off — it will wear as long as your machine. ‘We send it on a 10 day free trial. which explains it all. Send for the Fawkes book Milwaukee Rubber Works Co. 39 MacMillan Ave. Cudahy, Wis. comicbooks.com