Life, 1906-05-03 · page 16 of 44
Life — May 3, 1906 — page 16: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a Shakespearean parody satirizing President Theodore Roosevelt and his political opponents. The play reimagines *Julius Caesar* with American figures: **Key identifications:** - "Julius Seizer Roosevelt" = Theodore Roosevelt - "Brutus Tillmanius" = likely Senator Joseph Cannon - "Cassius Cannon" = appears to reference political conspirators - Characters named after real figures: Bryan, Hearst, Defreyus, Cleveland **The satire:** The piece mocks Roosevelt's aggressive presidential style (his "Big Stick" policy) and portrays him as a tyrannical figure whom politicians plot against. References to "Minor Morris scandal," Panama Canal, and "copyrighted cuss-words" suggest contemporary political controversies. **The humor:** By casting American political figures as Shakespearean conspirators, *Life* ridicules both Roosevelt's imperious manner and the theatrical posturing of his critics—particularly newspaper editor Hearst and populist Bryan. The dialogue mimics Shakespeare while inserting American slang and contemporary references (streetcar conductors, oil trades, comic strips), creating absurdist political commentary typical of *Life's* muckraking satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
~ LF E.* Julius Seizer A Shakespearean Tragedy with American Lines By Wattace Irwin Cast of Characters Juuivs Srizer Roosevett Bat. Cuauncey M. Derrwevs. | ALpRica, Senators. METELLIUS SPOONER, | Toumivs PLattus Cassius CANNox, U Conspiraters ees inst Seizer Brutus Tratanies, § Hexnicus Watrersosies, a Teacher of Rhetoric Witt HEARSTUS, Lary neg Brvanttis, j Tribun Grover CL Bituto Tart, Macooxvs, EVELANDUS, 1 Heavy Dragoons. \ Make Antony Lorn, a Funeral Director. Fairbaxkus, a Refrigerator Trusts, Rebates, Reformers, Commoners, ete (The White House. Certain Commoners are dancing on the village green. Enter HeAnstvs and BRvasttis. Hearst.: Hence! home, you idle creatures, ge Is this a comic section that you dance In misfit clothes wit out the union label To indicate jobs? What trade art thou? your ist Coma.: Please, sir, Lam a grafter. Bryan.: Where is thy rebate, then, and railroad You, sit, what trade art thou? 2p Cox: Truly, sir, before I became a lobbyist Iwas a cobbler. I have but recently traded the awl for the haul. Later I exchanged the awl for the oil und took orders from Uncle John Bryan.: By gum, by Styx, bi-metallism, man! You call yourself a Commoner—O, fudge! Why stand you here with fingers manicured, Your shirt-studs flashing phoney-looking stones ? 1st Cosst.: Most noble sir, we linger here to see J. Scizer Roosevelt ride the elephant. Hearst.: You blocks, you dubs, you Philadelphia gas Whom oft in idiotorials I've tol To vote for Me and Happy Hooligan, ‘The Katzenjammer Twins and Maud, the Mule, Why have ye went and gone and done this thing ? Brvan.: Key down, Bill, please—here comes our Unkular Unk. (Exeunt.) (Thunder and lightning —enter Brutus TILLMANIUS and Cassius CANNON.) “YOU BLOCKS, YOU DUBS, YOU NILA DELPHIA GAS WHOM OFT IN IDIOTORIALS I'VE TOLD TO. VOTE FOR ME AND HAPPY HOOLIGAN ay,Brutus,may Icall you Brute,for short? Come, drop that pitchfork—what's the matter, Ben? Insulting of the President again? Tint.: O, for the club of Hercules to crack That haughty Ted in his vainglorious teeth! s Big Stick—(A pplause without) What means this shouting? I do f Or might some Titan lend me Caxx the pe Choose Teddy for their king Tw Ii this keeps up I must revive the Minor Morris scandal. (Salvo without, “Nobody Works in Panama.” Enter Geizer oosrvet, followed by Mare Axtioxy Lorn, Cievetannus, Bitttio Tart, Crauncey M. Derrweus and OVER 1 Senctors.) ok you, Cassius, angry Scizer seems to show his gri Sizer: Let me have men about me that are fat (pointing to ded men and such as sleep o" nights. "annon hath a lean and hungry look; t ks too hard; such men are dangerous. Lorn perial Seizer—he's quite tame Keep cool, I 1 ross the knees; : bunch of broomstraws on his chin Proclaim: Sriz. C don’t think! Come, Conscript Fathers, join Drrrwevs: is simple, cornfed origi rfed, perhaps; but simple, T ina drink Here is a joke I've often used He drinks hot Scotch who drinks with Theo- (Applause. (Senators stampede after dore. Sezer, leaving Wartersontus and TILMaNtus together Thunder and lightning.) Wart. thing— Gad, seh! that Scizer scizes every Canals, the Constitution, treaty-rights— Tiut..: Dog-pasted, gorgon-headed Grand Mogul, Spectacled chum of Booker Washington, Gish-whanged, gr-r-r-r-00, wind-strenuous bow-wow! Wartt.: Gad, seh! those expletives out- match my own Til put ‘em in the Courier-Journal. Trt. Nit! ‘Those copyrighted cuss-words shall be used ‘To-morrow in my speech before the Senate. (Enter Cassius CANNON with Battycus Sneaky music.) Watrt.: Hist, friend! I think I hear The soft stand-patter of Jo Cannon's feet How now, Republican! Why limpst thou ie so? comicbooks.com