Life — May 3, 1906 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

CONCERNING THE “QUARTER (4) GRAND” pies practically no more space than an Upright. It costs [’: Tone Quality is superior to that of an Upright. It occu- no more than the large Upright. It weighs less than the larger Uprights. It is a more artistic piece of furniture than an Upright. It has all the desirable qualities of the larger Grand Pianos. It can be moved through stairways and spaces smaller than will admit even the small Uprights. Catalogue Freo CHICKERING & SONS Established 1823 796 Tremont Street, Boston Travelers Checks and Letters of Credit available the world over now Issued by United States Express Co. FOREIGN EXCHANGE DEPT. Apply to any agent of the company You may say “1 would like a Res- idence Telephone but it costs too much.”” f2 not $3.75 a month, a rea- sonable charge? We furnish residence service In Manhat- tan at that rate. New York Telephone Co., 15 Dey St. i Astonished the Woodchuck PET prairie dog named Napoleon js described by a writer in St. Nicholas as performing an impromptu circus stunt. A woodchuck, recently caught, had been brought into the ‘sitting-room, where it had retreated into the unused fireplace, glaring furi ously at every one who approached, and keeping its mouth wide open, except when from time to time it would close it with a fearful snap, loudly grinding its teeth together in the way peculiar to woodchucks, At this inauspicious moment Napoleon was brought into the room and set down upon the floor. As the woodchuck was three times the size of the prairie dog, Napoleon’s young mistress was for snatching him from those literal jaws of death, but the rest of the family said: “Let them be. We can interfere in time.” This seemed by no means certain when Napo- leon, inspired by deep interest, approached the woodchuck, which forthwith opened its mouth to an even wider extent, as if to bite the dog’s head off. The undaunted Napoleon seemed to regs this as an unexpected opportunity to add to knowledge, for he at once proceeded to examine the woodchuck’s wide open mouth, thrusting his whole muzzle inside it, and then actually putting out his litle pink tongue and sampling the roof of it. As for the woodchuck, it seemed to be paralyzed with amazement. It did not relax a muscle, but sat immovable, with wouth wide open, as it had done when Napoleon first approached The latter made a long and Icisurely inspection, first of the inside and then of the outside of the woodchuck’s mouth, and at last trotted calmly away again, leaving the poor nonplussed animal sitting in the fireplace as before. His Honeymoon Feeling “TEDGE,” said the old colored citizen, ‘how much fer a license ter git married?” “Want it for yourself?” “Yes, suh. You I gittin’ mighty old now.” “That’s evident. Then, why do you wish to marry?” Jedge, ter tell de truth, somebody gimme a long coat, a linen collar en a walkin’ cane, en I knows a ’oman what says she kin make a livin’ fer me, en I feels des lak’ a honey- moon!”—Allanta Constitution. A Waming “QEE here!” said the theatrical manager, “you want to quit your overbearing behavior towards the other members of this company—” “Indeed?” replied the thespian, haughtily am the star, am I not?” “Well, yes, but you want to remember that you're not a fixed star.”—Philadelphia Press. A Real Dilemna “ T-J-JOHN!” quavered the young wife. “What is it?” “The cook says she won’t stay any longer.” “Well, tell her to go.” “I d-d-did, but she says she won’t g-g-go.”— Pittsburgh Post.