Life — April 26, 1906 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TROUBLES A string around your finger worn Will memory abet: A string around a fishing rod Will help you to forget —New Vork Sun AN OLD FRIEND The late Sims Reeves was fond of te to.an carly engagement in Glasgow, wh ed through a metropolitan agency. One of the items on the program was “Hail, Smiling Morn,” and of course Mr. Reeves was put down for the solo portion. ‘The chorus conasts of an echo, and the Landon The whole matter was settled hurriedly Mr. Reeves was ented him ent assured the soloist that a satisfactory choir had first disinclined to accept, as other engagements from reaching Glasgow in time for a rehearsal with the choir “Don't worry about that. my ” said the agent. “You will find the choir perfect.” The concert was a success, and in due course “Hail, Smiling Mern” was called for. When the soloist came lines er At horror when the echo repeated his words in broadest Scotch : requiring an echo he delivered them in his best man Yet Sims Reeves averted that not a person in the audience smiled of appeared to sce anything incongruous. When | talked over the matter with a bailie after the concert, the man awure “That's ju q You were a little wrong in your pronunciation was correc see, it was a Scottish echo."— Exchange IDENTIFIED A. G. Hales, the war correspondent, writing in London Opinion and To-Day on the unequal talent und in the House of Commons, ts who was once mistaken for Bernard Shaw. He and Mr. Shaw were once in the same Turkish bath, lying on slabs, with towels over their faces. The attendant came along and touched the coxcomb on the shoulder. “Ready, Mr. Shaw e said. The coxcomb bounded to his feet, all aglow w pleasure at being mistaken for a man of intelles After he had been rubbed down he attendant half a sovercign, for so full was he of gocth beforea fall. Ashe turned to go he said er—what made you mistake me for Bernard Shaw?" The attendant grinned. “Er—well, »1 same sized feet."—New York Tribune a story he heard of a coxcor you see, sir, you ‘ave the UP TO DATE Lixcoun’s Day Orator: Yes, my friends, Lincoln, our greatest president, started life as a rail splitter Voice rrost tHe CrowD: Did he belong to the union ?—Penn- splrania Purch Bow! *Yes."" said Colonel Kaintuck, “the first time I drank whisky T sup wry face, but after that it grew on me.” "The rye nterry harpley;" yes,indeed, it did." — Philadel phia Press. Chelly: You WAVE. YouR SISTER'S COMPLEXION Johnny: OW, NO; WATER'LL SPOML HERS, AND E KIN WASH AY FACE ALL 1 WANT AN’ IT WON'T COME OFF. “Are you feeling very ill?” asked the physician. “Let me see your tongue, please.” “It's no use, doctor,” replied the patient, how bad I feel." Exchange. “no tongue can tell A GIFT-HORSE, “It's no use finding fault with what's given y what you wanted,” said Miss Palma $ cally, “and sometimes, after all, it turns out to be “Illustration, aunty, at once!” cried Miss Pals had long since grown accustomed to her methods of “Well,” said the old lady, "I thought Mrs. Lane wc me an amethyst brooch for Christmas. 1t wo ‘out my black silk, and she'd asked me, and I'd as much ass but there, when I had my mouth all made up for that pin, if be didn’t go and give me a red and green afghan instead!” © aunty, when your own work is so much better than aap thing she dors! J Miss Palma. “It’s a terrible homely one, but it’s extry size. She never comes here, you know, so next I shall grow one o° those fall cosmos bushes, cover it up nig with that afghan, sell the blooms to Willy Green, that's wanted me to grow one the last three years for his stand in Uostoa, and y me an amethyst brooch with the money for it way, I kind of mistrust Mrs. Lane’s taste in brooches, s0 you see I'm fixed out just complete!” —Youth's Compontoe PLAYED IT UP TO LIFE Two little boys were playing “railroad” yesterday. One was Choctaw and the other Rock Island. The game was arranged that each train should go around a certain number of blocks aad meet at a certain corner. ‘The Choctaw boy started out and went choo-choning os his way. When he arrived at the “station” the Rock Island traia was nowhere in sight, so he kept on to the place of staring where he found the other boy calmly sitting as he left him S'matter with ye?” yelled the Choctaw lad, angrily. “A ye goin’ to play?” Jourse Lam," replied the Rock Island train, “but I's aise hours late."—EI Paso American. What a venal, mercenary world is this! While waiting for a train the other day at a country station we saw an elderly p Y's dress-basket—a girl going to het & * probably—and find a seat for her in the pick up a count place in “serv “local line"* seated mary tuppence. The girl, not being acquainted with the act of Lipping, however, shyly grasped the horny paw and shook it, sad as the train started said, timidly, “Good-bye. youl!” With o missed, the sordid wretch shuffled back to the lamp room, the maiden was borne away, all unconscious of having made ber first enemy ina mostly unkind world.—Sporting Times. muttered word, which we are bh Love had just laughed at the locksmith “Why doo’t you Liugh at the milliner and the Landlord and the grocer?” asked a bystander * Because." replied Love, “they always make me feel mighty serious.” —Houston Post. Lire, is published every Thursday. $5.00 a year in advance. Postage to foreign countries in the Single current copies, 10 cents. Back numbers, after three months Postal Union, $1 04 a year extra from date of publication, 25 cents. Lire is for by all Newsdealers in Great Britain. The Intern: Building, Chancery Lane, London, E. C., England, AGENTS Wre ondy whuskey that places a compete, quararkeed analysis on each kerery, bittle- Seeback label! @® Fastest Trains in the World—THE NEW YORK CENTRAL LINES tional News Company, Bre: 50 No contribution will be returned unless accompanied by stamped and addressed envelope. The illustrations in Lure are copyrighted, and are not to be reproduced. Prompt notification should be sent by subscribers of any change of address. YEARS’ TEST PROVES ThetSAll! Hunter comp contr Birth in the = prote noble event comicbooks.com