Life — March 8, 1906 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ET ‘A COMPLICATED TRANSACTION The “grand settling of accounts” in which My | te) Compten and her mother indul; the close oj VV day spent in the city, shopping, is an entertainers which Mr. Compton never misses if he can help it “Now, mother,” said Mrs. Compton RESPECT THE AGEO BRIOGET'S REASONING. these: Serasions ‘was: drawing te 4 cle give me the seventy-five cents for that they are all that remain 10 us ing cook): Why did you leave your cushion? ‘Then we shail be all stra; since they have taken the last place? Rarocer Matosey: Whoi, mum, the snistress id she cudn't do widout me, so Oi came to the con “No,” said the old lady, after an ins: her cash assets, “I can't. I have only sist chang clusion that Oi was worth more than she was givin’ Mrs. Compton looked worried, and a me, and Oj lift at wanst!—Pick- Me-Up. happened, ker husband endeavored to ler, hand, merry jest Te tal Your mother has a two-dollar said, indicating one of the old lady's This life is often far from gay; “Why Coesn't she give you that, and Why should we sing a doleful lay? = that dollar and a quarter over there? ‘Tis better, as [ said, by half “William,” and his wife tu To tug reproachful face toward him, “don't mix is all up! That two dollars is what [ paid mother ten minster ago for my share of Cousin Lucy's down vatl, Act this dollay and a quarter is ker share of Cousin E ward's ash-tray! If we turned and twisted thing back and forth in the ways you suggest we shou Wise ehaEOnhAE?” Tetegetecauate : never know where we were. As it is, a8 The jokes most new and up to date pe fifty cents I gave toward Katherine's doll’s tea Unquestionably older ar all mixed in with the money Lucy gave her. and By far. don’t know how it happened, with all our exc —The Ta methods!"—Youth’s Companion. le has a pleasant ring, thermore there is a thing That recommends it to the sage Its age, PRACTICAL POLITICS. WARM WORK. A practical politician of the first water came to “Say, old boy, I scorched a bit in na town not long ago. In this and now [ find myself in hot wa town there is an officer, designated as Inspector of What can I do for you?" Stree nd Roadways, who receives the munificent HIS SPECIAL BRAND Why, bail me out!"—Baltimore Americas salary $250 per year, s the opposing po ical “'h SHOULD ERR," SAID THIS PERSON, ‘SIN SCORNING parties are yery nearly balanced in this town, there is THAT ADVICE, WHICH AMOUNTS TOA WARNING, A uittte girl, the French critic Sarcey relay keen opposition, se that when this office became ‘OF MY DOCTORS, WHO SAY, once presented herself at the Paris Conservatoir vacant and the authorities ordered an election to filt * ONLY ONE SMOKE A DAY !? order to pass the examination for it, there was a lively campaign for this small plum, USTARTED [7 EARLY THIS MORNING.” she knew was the fable of the “Two Pigeo no other elections being near. The Democratic candi she had no sooner recited the opening lines wher date was a rather shrewd old fellow by the name of Auber stopped her with a gesture. Ezekiel Hicks, and it looked as though he w 1 be nough,” he said. “Come here, my child.” sccessful, as a neat little sum had been subscribed The little girl, who was pate and thin 1 and turned over to him as a campaign fund. To the CORRECT GAR. TIME: eyes gleamed with intelligence, approached him wit astonishment ¢ y, however, he was de Several years ago a party of friends traveling py an air of assurance. feated trolley had occasion to ask the starter on a certain “Your pame is Sarah?" he said. “E can't account for it.” one of the Democratic line how often the cars ran, to which question he “Yes, sir,” was the reply. teaders said, gloomtly. “With thot money, we should c th : + "You are a Jewess? dave'won, How-did you lay. it out; Ezekiel?” ter arter, ha’ arter, quarter to, and at.” “Hum,” Ezekiel said slowly, pulling his whisker. eraid. “She has been baptized,” said Auber, “Yer see, that office only pays $250 a year salary, an’ his colleagues. “She has said her fable of I didn’t see no sense in payin’ $900 out to get the Convivtat GENTLEMAN (teho has stumbled against Digeons’ very well. She must be admit office, so T jest bought me a little ruck farm instead,” another f and fallen): easly cowards, Thus Sarah Bernhardt, for it was Harper's Weekly. thash what you are—both of you!—London “Sketch.” the Conservatoire.—Baltimore Sw f is published every Thursday, $5.00 a year in advance. Postage to No contribution will be returned unless accompanied by stamped and ad- entries in the Postal Unida, $1.04.a year extra, Single current copies, dressed envelope. a: Back emis, site: see Rienthe nce 4 Biel The illustrations in Live ave copyrighted, and are not to be reproduced. is for sale by all Newsdealers in Great Britain, ‘The International News ny, Hream's Building, Chancery Lane, London, E. C., England, AGENTS. Prompt notification should be sent by subscribers of any change of address. The Cigarette L of Quality That's All! goer AROMATIC DELICACY- club or dealer's SURBRUG-Importer MILDNESS— PURITY fashion "Se Signing Nine Trains Daily for Chicagoa—NEW YORK CENTRAL. comicbooks.com