Life — March 1, 1906 — page 39: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ee The Call of the Conventional. PLAYWRIGHT once lent ear unto the loud in- For a drama that would be quite fresh and new ; “Right here in Act the First my hero, brave, shall die, And a fishbone chokes the lady in Act Two ; And I'll have no lallygagging in this model play you He said And the villain I will chase to timber tall ; And I will not write a speech or song for any old) soubrette”— But the public wouldn't stand for it at all. \ novelist imagined he would win the world’s applause With a book that held no old, familiar stuff ; “1° banish all the love talk,” he boldly said, “because People weary of that ancient sort of gu, So he drew a lifelike maiden, who was stupid and quite plain, And a man whose only requisite was gall ; Hut such a rash experiment he ne'er will try again— The public wouldn't stand for it at all, So hear ye, all young writers who would untried path- ways tread, Jion’t try too hard to hand out something new ; Don’t scorn the mental diet upon which we've alll been | fed If you'd win a laurel chaplet and coin, too : }ion't scoff at dear conventions that have been on earth so long, Don't fling the rusty props” quite o'er the wall, You may figure that you have written something new and fine and strong— But the public will not stand for it at all, —Denver Republican, Tactful Quaker. Soule time ago there lived a gentleman of indolent habits who spent his time visit- 4 among his friends. After wearing out his welcome in his own neighborhood he thought he would visit an old Quaker friend some twenty miles distant. On his arrival he was cordially received by the Quaker, who, thinking the visitor had taken much pains to come so far to see him, treated him with a great deal of attention and ) politeness for several days. s the visitor showed no signs of leaving the Quaker became uneasy, but bore it with patience until the eighth ¢ when he said to him: “My friend, I am afraid thee will never come again.” “Oh, yes, I shall,” said the visitor. “I have enjoyed my visit very much and shall certainly | | come a in.” “But,” said the Quaker, ve, how can thee come aga “Sf thee will never in!"—E xchange. Thrifty Girl. G RACE: Do you remember all the boxes of candy Jack used to bring Edna when he was courting? Well, she saved them all, be- cause candy hurt her teeth. Ma: And what did she do with them? “Why, after their marriage and Jack lost so much in the stock market she opened a confec- tionery store.”—Chicago News, A New Fold Collar & Styles, move in cycles The “Kermit,” a new, § yet old style, is the original fold collar with the addition of up-to-date fitand set,and the stylish wide stitching. It will appeal to those who find any discomfort in the ridged lock front style, because of the give and take of the V shaped opening. Tt will also attract those de: siring something different from the styles almost universally wom. Ast roar fucalher to show sou Caria Coon Collare, of ‘bot wiillegly wend for any atzle yoa like, 9 0 pet wr aced 25¢, for two Kerralt Cellars and enjoy thele perfect fit, good oty' Corliss, Coon & Co., Dept. IN, Troy, N. Y. 9 BRIGHTON Flat Clasp Garter for solid comfort. The newest shades and d of one piece, silk web. All metal cannot rust. 25 cents a pair, all dealers or by mail. PIONEER BUSPENDER CO., 718 Market St., Philadelphia, Makers of Pioneer Suspenders. ate 2 for 2c. Folds ate t ply always and in alll styles. But, at the “plague spot,” where other collars go to pieces auickly, ining (where UST as a chain is J only as strong as its weakest link, an H automobile is only as good as its tires. The finest motor is useless without the strongest tires, IMPORTED CONTINENTAL TIRES are “ THE WORLD'S one of test— they have been award- ed more honors in more contests (speed and endurance) than any other tire. Insist on having them on your car. Send for Booklet No. 10 to She CONTINENTAL CAOUTCHOUC Co. W. Trechbeln, Pree, Frail Grossman, Gen'l Mgr, 43 Warren Street NEW YORK é a ‘ PactoryiHanover,Germany @ ‘6 TIRES © Tune is no danger of dyspepsia for those who drink YOUNGER'S SCOTCH ALE.—ddv. comicbooks.com