Life, 1906-02-15 · page 12 of 32
Life — February 15, 1906 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical pieces about American politics and society: **"One Day"** is a sentimental poem about cherished memories, likely contrasting idealism with harsh reality—a common Life magazine theme. **"Well-Known Character"** satirizes a shabby politician trying to secure funding through the "Legislative Enactment of the Appropriation Schedule" and the "Pure Food Bill." The joke targets corruption and how such figures lose credibility and support. **"More Haines Less Money"** mocks John P. Haines, president of the S.P.C.A. (Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Animals), for poor financial management—receipts dropped $250,000 between 1902-1905. The satire suggests his incompetence, not animal welfare concerns, troubles donors. The remaining brief jokes are unrelated social commentary on domestic and commercial matters.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
*-LIFE: ONE ITE gleam of a wintry afternoon, A flurry of s1 But if it were winter We did not hee The crowd passed by on the b Weary or se We only knew ow in the tingling air, or spring, or June, J, nor we did not care sy street, n of sordid grown. at our two hearts beat Jay was all our own. Rerrawn ay, our own on memory’s blue, A lily on life’s receding sea, When I was all of the world to And you were all of the world to me. ‘The sunset came with its rose and gold, And the robed night, ars smiled down on the snow And we knew that our story of life was told, And its soul -vith the day had taken fight, ‘That never again in this world below, Would we aught but dream of the pleasure Rown, m pry could we know iful day that was all our own DAY. Sometimes perhaps in the coming years, As we walk our ways ia the world apart, fc oF a word, or a flash of tears, Or the clasp of a hand will make us start ; And backward a refluent wave will flow, Or a scented breath from the past be blown, Speaking to us of the long ago, And a beautiful day that was all our own. Emma Playter Seabury. Well-Known Character. i HO is that shabby-looking, patched-up individual trying to get on the floor of the House?’ asks the Legislative Enactment of the Ap- propriation Schedule. ‘That ?"’ answers the Appropriation Schedule. ‘0, that’s old Pure Food Bill. When he first came here he looked pretty good, but now he has been knocked around and changed so much that his former friends don’t know him at all. In a minute you'll see him thrown out bodily again. Ast More Haines, Less Money. HAT was a diverting assemblage of the S. P. C. January 25th. Small blame to him. ing to have a numbe together and denounce you as an incompetent. enjoy it. A. on the president, did not It is somewhat embarra of the best people in a big city come John P. Hain It was clearly the opinion of the great majority that there had been too much Haines and too little business. committee reported The auditing absence of systematic bookkeeping MARY HAD 3 LITTLE LAMB. “T_JOW in the world did Perkins come to run off with another man’s wife?" “T haven't seen the woman, so I don’t know whether he did it from motives of philanthropy or not.”” that rendered a satisfactory statement of accounts impossi- ble. Receipts the last few years had fallen off several thousands of dollars, in proportion, naturally, to the loss of confidence in the present management. The gross receipts in 1903 were $80,000 less than in 1903. Now, eighty thou- sand dollars makes considerable difference to the unpro- tected animals, but our Mr. Haines is not worried by trifles of that nature. Costly. aber says this check should be five S RVANT: The pl dollars more. But it's the amount he asked for. But you've kept him waitin’ for nearly an CASTLETON = “Yes, sir. hour."” WBERRY: ment ? Batpwin : I should say he is. I have known him to go into a restaurant without a cent in his pocket, order a dozen oysters, and feel satisfied that he could pay his bill with a pearl. Is Sanford of an optimistic tempera- comicbooks.com