Life — February 8, 1906 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘LIFE: Mr. Dooley on Magazines. “TT looks to me," said Mr. Hennessy though this counthry was goin’ to th’ diyvle.” “Put down that magazine,” said Mr. Doo- ley. “Now d'ye feel better? I th But I can sympathize with ye. I've readin’ thim mesilf. Time was whin [sel dom throubled thim. I wanted me fiction th’ day it didn't happen, an’ 1 cud buy that fra penny fr'm th’ newsboy on th’ corner in a while some home-farin’ wand! wud jettison wan in my ec, an Vd ir quently glance through it an’ find it in me lap whin T woke up. Th’ magazines in thim days was very ca’ming to th’ mind. Alfonso dashin’ f'r a marredge 1 m'nent lady authoressesses makin’ pomes at th’ moon, Now an’ thin a scrap over whether Shakspere was enthered in his own name or was a ringer, with th’ long-shot players al ways against Shakspere, But no. wan hurt BAD SCOTCH Makes the devil weep for joy, and it makes you feel like the devil the next morning— only you don’t weep for joy. Good Scotech—that is, whisky that is pal- atable and delicate, and guaranteed pure as well, is a health- giving stimulant which none save in- fants need fear. Sanderson’s Moun- TH’ idea ye got frm these here ations | was that life was wan glad sweet song. Ti anything, ivrybedy was too good to ivrybody tain Dew Scotch is a guaranteed aged else, Ye don't need. t6 lock th’ dure at night whisky which tends Hang ye’er watch on th’ knob, Why do polis- to steady’ the: glad men carry clubs? Answer, to knock th’ ros hand and broaden the If on your trip to the coast you ff th throll 1 Th \ lin’ wish to enjoy all the comforts and off th’ throlley poles. They were good readin wae ‘a like a bottle iv white pop smile of friendship, and which helps to conveniences of home, coupled liked thim th’ with the dispatch of perfect train now an’ thin. But now whin I k me fav service, take The “rite magazine off th’ f what do I find? make one a temperate disciple of the Ivtything has gone wrong, Th’ wurruld is OVERLAND little betther than a conviet’s camp. Angabel an’ Alfonso ar're about to get marri'd whin it aw’ he t oi i Alls on the 4a ‘5 \ Chicago, Milwaukee & “Oh, moon, how fair! now begin: “0 . W. Perkins, how awful!’ Shakspere St. Paul Railway mintioned as a crook, Here ye ar’re edition. Ju t iv th’ Crimes Unsurpassed in every appoint- iv Incale ed. e read Larsen last ment; electriclightedthroughout. From Union Passenger Station, Chicago, 8 p. m. daily. Tourist Sleepers at 6.05 p. m. and 1025 p.m. 8! p u i ‘ F.A. Miller, G.P.A., Chicago, his barber shop at Hiven forty-two Koseluske will send infor- Avenoo, South Bennington, Arkansaw. Read mation and Wash'n'ton Bliffens’s dhreadful assault on th’ beautiful 4 ei descrip 7 board iy education iv Baroboo. Read Idarem tive on Jawn D.; she's a lady, but she’s got th’ booklets free up ae - on ree > / surance Comp'nies.” ‘Graft gress suest, “Graft in th’ Supreem Coort,’ t be an Old Grafter,’ ‘Graft in Lit or be Hine’ James; ‘Graft in Its Rel Life” be Dock Eliot; ‘Th an’ Graft; Its Same? Yes and No,’ be Norman Slapgood.” —Collier’s Wee A SOCIETY CIRCUS LLA: Bella told me that you told her that INTRODUCING THE STAGE MIRACLE secret [ told you not to tell her. Tn Office and Humidors, Court of the Golden Fountains Sreuta: She's a mean thing—I told her not | C7 Yates red be ‘ lorfAstoriaN® sen eVith ballet extraordinary and seer fonsores pali to tell you T told her. to insigni thing ever produ ny sta 4 tote insigalicance anything ever produced) on any. 64 “Well. I told her I wouldn't tell you she told — <= DAY ___ EVENINGS ‘AT'S J! me—so don’t tell her I did."—Exchange, © LD - CROW RY E STRAIGHT WHIS K EY SOLE BOTTLERS, NEW YORK, comicbooks:com month on ‘Th’ use i as Burglar Alarums? Good, was it? Thin read th’ hor rible disclosure about th’ way Jawn C. Hig- got th’ right to build a bay window on punch, Graft ivirywhere. ‘Graft in th’ In- “The Perfect Havana.” The 1905 sales of this clear Havana Segar were double those of 1904—that’ how good La Magnita