Life — February 8, 1906 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Being the reflections ofan Insurance Macnate on reading the testimony of an official in one of, the smaller companies, who swore that none of its officers had ever participated in syndicates or received excessive salaries, (With apologies to the late O-- ver Weed Hees) SAW him once before, When his Company, of yore, Was quite small, And very well they did For the widows ard the kid— ‘That was all. They say that in those days, Ere men learned the gilded ways Of Finance, He has handled heaps of chink, And he never stopped to think— “+ Here’s my chance.” But with us the Family Friends Swipe the phantom Dividends While they can ¢ And the Surplus swells and grows ; -LIFE- The Last Leaf. But Papa knows where it goes— Lucky man { In the Family it stays ; For a goodly chunk it pays Son-in-Law— Brother, Uncle and the rest With enough to line the nest Of Papa. So our Magnates of to-day At this ancient honest jay Would have laughed : “OF discernment what a lack | Why, he never took a whack At the Gratt!” He might have had his yacht, And his daughter have a dof For her own ; But he simply pegged along, With ideas of right and wrong We've outgrown, Let Us Be Joyful! NERGETIC measures for ousting John P. Haines from the control of the New York branch of the Ss. P.C. last, to be under way. It is time. Every man, woman and child in this city who cares for our four-footed friends will have cause for jc During long years, years of neglect and suffering for LS FINAL PARADE OF THE OLD GUARD, thousands of unprotected animals, this comp nt person has affronted public opinion, antagonized friends of the Society, and brought contempt and ridicule upon his office and his trust. The worm, however, has turned—the worm in this case being many thou- sands of indignant citizens, of the best class in the community ever w: dignation more righteous, The fat revenues so long at the dis- posal of Mr. Haines are now to be accounted for, These revenues have, of course, decreased with loss of public con- fidence. It is safe to that when this kinned gentleman is removed from office the Society will return to its former usefulness, the revenues will re- vive, and our friends the animals will again find sympathy and protection, both of which are badly needed. Our Exchange Column. Ww NTED: A quiet, obscure cottage away from the world where Peace reignssupreme. Humbler location the better. Crown given in exchange. Czar Nicholas. He'd no notion, bless his soul, Of McCurdy or McCall, Nor of Hyde; And the simple-minded fool Ata Syndicate or Pool Would have shied. 1 know it is a sin For me to sit and grin Athim here ; But his simple honest face Seems so sadly out of place, And so queer! Should 1 live as long as he, Would they ever say of me, (And not wink—) “ He was poor, for he forbore Opportunities galore ?” I don’t thin! AM Cready Sykes, Political Note, 1907. TERDAY the President of the United States w found in con- tempt of the Standard Oil Co. for laughing in the presence of one of the directors, Remanded for bail. One Ray. R. POULTNEY BIGELOW, whose business is the business of telling it in Gath and Askelon, being given to understand that Secretary Taft spent five days in Panama and at- tended three dances and a succession of social functions, is certain to create a painful impression. It were not strange, indeed, if some of the more sensitive and high-strung among us should be almost inclined, with Mrs. Jarley, to turn atheist when we think of it. But at least one ray rives the gloom, The dreadful climate, which destroys the bodies and the minds upon the Political Pull it new vigor. If only this distinguished product of American pluck and inge- nuity can be harnessed to a steam shovel, we may yet see the dirt fly at the Isthmus, ONSIDERING his opportunities, it would seem as though a Life In- surance President ought to pay for his job. comicbooks.com