Life — February 1, 1906 — page 35: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Jed Spalding’s Joke. ¢ “Jed” Spalding, of Mich 1 530 pi is socks, was one of the best jok-) He had a brother-in-law in politics whom he did not like very well and Tt" nehes in unds and stood 6 ers in the State. once very vigorously opposed his candidacy | for Mayor of Port Huron, Mich. One day} while the campaign was at its height the ministers of the city held a meeting to decide! which candidate to support. Jed happened to meet one of the pastors on the way to the aged Scotch man and somewhat hard of hearing. He told Iding that he would do all he could to| mecting. This preacher was an brother-in-law’s endorsement and | a pointer or two for a speech.| ever ready for a joke, saw his and, pulling the pastor aside shouted in his ear: “My brother-in-law is living with er man’s sister.” “You don’t tell me pastor said, and he hurried off to the ng to spread the news among the min He got the platform immediately and “The Democratic candidate is a most wretch. He is living with I have the word of his brother- Jed Spalding, for it? Immediately the meeting was in an uproar. The mention of Jed Spalding was enough. The laughter became tumultuous, but the pastor didn’t no- tice the mistake he had made until told that Jed Spalding himself was the “other man."— Kansas City Star. | the mee! isters. said w icke d ma another s sister, in-law, Rats. HE disgust of a layman with legal phrase © will of Elphonzo Mr. Youngs was best known} he largest was shown in led here yesterd atl ‘on in ene ¢ tional churches in Washington. He , well-to-do man, wrote his will himself, evidently starting out] to copy from some book form, which set the| example in this wise: i} Being by the G nd body, hu ce of God in sound minad| nd mindful of the uncertainty of} pi ete. on suddenly on the written page there appears a wiid dash of ink and the following Rats!) This is too formal. All there is about it is thisat my de: nt my ever faithful and devoted wi ia Loretta L. You to have and everything I possess. York Times control Betrayed. “MOS MY dear,” said the muddled citizen, ‘sure you [ wouldn't been s'late, but scons stopped me.” “And you were, so scared your tongue clove} to the roof of your mouth.” f “How'd you know that?” } “I smell the clove."—Philadelphia Pailic| Ledger. RECORD RYE WHISKEY Not Up to Date. TO You are the only girl J ever loved. 1ESSI kr: My, but you've missed a lot of iun.—Pittsburg Dispatch. ow but yune, OU know the kind of concoction that masquerades as cocktail in London and Paris bars. Well, CLUB COCKTAILS are as su- perior to made-in-a-hurry kind as the latter are to the foreign attempts —and that’s saying a lot. Accept no substitute if you want the best. CLUB COCKTAILS is the original bottled brand. Just strain through ice and serve. Seven kinds—Manhattan, Martini, Ver- mouth, Whiskey, Holland Gin, Tom Gin and York. G. F. HEUBLEIN & BRO., Sole Proprietors Hartford New York London uch that passes for love is nothing | nt literature—New Orleans Pica- BAD SCOTCH Makes the devil weep for joy, and it makes you feel like the devil the next morning— only you don’t weep for joy. Good Scotch—that is, whisky that is pal- atable and delicate, and guaranteed pure as well, is a health- giving stimulant which none save in- fants need fear. Sanderson's Moun- tain Dew Scotch is a guaranteed aged whisky which teads to steady the glad hand and broaden the smile of friendship, and which helps to make one a temperate disciple of the MELLOW LIFE ©LD CROW RYE nts WHISKEY a H. B. KIRK & CO., BOTTLERS, NEW YORK, comicbooks.com