Life — February 1, 1906 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

MUST HAVE BEEN BAD. One of our leading actor-author managers telis the following yarn A certain man obtained admittance to a theatre ona free pass. The ply was an execrably bad one, and the company playing it was even worse. When the curtain fell on the first act sounds of marked disapprobation were heard from all parts of the the atre. The deadhead alone sat quiet, and did not join in the general storm of disapprohation, At the close of the sccond act a perfect tornado of groans, cat calls and hisses broke out among the thoroughly dis gusted audience. Still the freeticket’ man un moved. At last a man sitting in the next seat turned : to him and said And then a president, of lordly mien “Pardon me, but are you not disgusted with this wretched play? SEVEN AGES OF INSURANCE. “These insurance genth tell all. they know,” said Charles E. the investigating committee at " k. “They are not At first the ag x and bothering the busy the manager, with OF folks who will give up the ghost In Gle there was a then:the: stuffed. difector, waxing [at family that had an . with a large pon the bounty of the spectre's wa Full of strange oaths upon the witness-sts indeed.” heartily concurred the deadhead. Then why don't you signify the same in the nsual_ manner?” “Well, you see, Iam in here on a free ticket, and as Tam getting something for nothing I hardly feel justified in expressing my disapproval; but I'll tell you what, if this confounded play gets much wors I'l go to the box-office and buy a ticket, and come back and hiss like the rest of you!"—Exchange. » with clinking g Alb comes the politic Who } injuring hold-up bills And making | surance pay the freight In absent friend? Talk aimlessly in h platitudes THE BANKRUPT'S HYMN Sans memory f s and everything. There is a lawyer by the name of Hoxie out in —New York World, i Hampton, Towa, who is ed within a reasonably limited territory as a consummate wag. FEEASAUTEV“QHRANGED: A few years ago a good old deacon in the Con The boarding-house mistress looked at her latest ional church in that city, who had held many “guest” with a firm but cheerful expression of counte well as private offices of trust in the com nce, and allowed the faintest hint of a smile to munity, found himself on the verge of financial ruin play over her features. In endeavoring to recoup and save himself from in “Oh, no, I never have any trouble with my Ivency, he dragged a large number of his boarders,” she said, briskly. “I don't see any need ing friends into the maclstrom, and was. finally of nagging ‘em if they don't do just as they would c ibd’ souiresort:t0' batiliruptey: | Now:we will i n homes, and as they'd like to be done Hoxie’s own words in telling the sequel: “The d. by; but I generally let them see in some way when 1 was set for the deacon’s discharge in bankruptey, an don't approve of their doings 2 after ke had got his decree, I was going home for For instance, there was Mr. Cranston, é > supper. when T he of music. I listened, my table-boarders, a real wellmeaning yc red that it ated from the Congres: but pretty careless. He sits down at the end of the ch Twas ina quandary. This was not Sur table near: those little shelves where I keep my extra nor yet prayer-meeting 1 china, and he got in the habit last summer ming AL EROPERIOANDER: ered There sat De y and laying his hat right on top of the —_— i nding, his face arrot usually was key ne fam. a a_copy of the Hy “Well, it didn’t look just right, but I didn’t nag sitting roe but a spell of severe ¢ ir H an ‘as singing that old familiar hymo, a sheet of sticky fly-paper in on top of earned down there a number of ates which used the family greatly on c CONDITION PRECEDENT “Ie never said anything about it, for he knew 8. Surtor: I have come to ask you for your daugl what I meant after that night. That's why Tsay if “One afternoon when the 1 3 bel ter's hand folks will use tact they've no need to have any trom something the parrot said Faturr: Can you play bridge in the style to ble with boarders—not a bit!"—Youth's Companion, **Let ‘em ag s shich she is accustomed?—New Yo tis put E d car ii In tion will be returned unless accompanied by stam 9 countries in th gle curs lope. 1 cents. Back numbers, after three months {7 of publicati The illustrations in Lave are copyrigh sd are not to be reproduced. Lire. is for sale by all Newsdealers in Great ‘The International News ss eek Lipmiere coprriphted. end are.net'te be ecprodaced, Company, Bream's Building, Chancery Lane, E. C., En Prompt notification should be sent by subscribers of any change of address. RIPENED BY MATURITY, 1 WILSON unter Whiskey Thats All! TANS TS Sold at all frstclam cafes and by jobbers WM. LANAHAN & SON, Raitimore, Md. MOST PERFECT BLOCK SIGNALS ON THE NEW YORK CENTRAL.